To think she should have paid for the lesson

[MurielSnark]

I work for myself as a private tutor.

I ask parents to pay for each half-term’s lessons in advance. The very first lesson can be paid for individually to give parents and students the chance to see what the lessons are like and decide whether they want to continue.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine asked if her son could start tuition this September, for a half-term in the first instance. (I have tutored her other children in the past, very successfully.) I said yes, we arranged a day and time for the lessons, and I sent an invoice.

I didn’t hear anything more until the day of the first lesson, when I got a text from the mum asking if her son could have that lesson as a taster which she would pay for individually, as he wasn’t sure about having lessons. Then, if he wanted to continue, she would pay the rest of the invoice. I said yes of course. (It is something I offer, after all.)

I spent quite a bit of time preparing for the lesson. I always am well prepared but I wanted the materials to be as engaging as possible to encourage him to continue. Then, as I was sitting waiting for the boy to arrive, the mum texted me (a couple of minutes after the lesson should have started) to say he’d had a strop and wouldn’t be having any tuition after all.

She didn’t offer to pay and I haven’t heard from her since. (This was a few days ago.) She could have popped round (she lives nearby) but hasn’t.

So firstly, aibu to think she should have paid anyway?
Secondly, do I need a policy to cover this situation in future? What do other tutors do?!

I would think twice in future about tutoring friends' children, as it makes it very difficult to enforce terms and conditions. Also some friends if they are that way inclined might take the piss as has happened today.

She should have paid- if she asks again, mention she never paid for this lesson and see what she says.

I’m not a tutor so can’t say- but I think a 24 hour cancellation period sounds fair?

All the lessons I book for my children I have to pay for whether they show up or not. If I cancel 24 hours before then I don’t have to pay.

She should pay.

Yes, she should pay but you say she is a good friend so decide whether it’s worth pursuing.
Maybe take a deposit on booking?

Perhaps, moving forwards, charge the cost of the first lesson on booking and offer to refund half or all of it when they book the whole half term?

Have a 24 hour cancellation policy, and make it clear on any invoices sent in advance.

Of course she should have paid, but maybe calling it a “taster” muddied the waters a bit?

She should pay. I would offer it is was my friend. It is wise to have a policy for this but realistically would you have pushed her to sign a contract or anything? I bet you wouldn't as you trusted her as a friend.

I wouldn't let it end your friendship but if ever anything like this gets suggested again I would steer clear.

Late cancellation fee. All lessons cancelled with less than 24 hour notice will incur 100% of the lesson cost.
Can be discretionary, for example, if someone is due to have a lesson at say 4pm but wakes up with a stomach bug they can’t give 24 hours notice.
I’ve applied this more firmly to my business recently and it certainly deters time wasters.

Since she's avoiding you anyway, I'd be tempted to bill her. You could do her a 50% deal if you're feeling generous.

Definitely start stating a cancellation policy.

I had a similar thing where I had prepared a lesson and travelled to the client and she wasn't at her own house! I waited too. I also hadn't stated a cancellation policy beforehand. (Lesson learned.)

Thanks for the replies.

My friend is actually very warm and generous and I suspect this was just a bit of thoughtlessness on her part. I’m not going to fall out with her over it: I just wanted to see if iwbu.

To clarify some points, I do already have a policy which means that lessons are paid for whether or not the student turns up. They are paid for each half-term in advance. They can be rearranged, but I don’t refund lessons that aren’t. It’s actually stricter than the 24-hour policy some have mentioned.

My question related only to the very first lesson, which can be paid for individually. I have never had anyone book one of those but then not turn up! I like the idea of asking parents to pay at the time of booking.

Thanks again all.

She should have paid. Maybe take a deposit, or have people pay for the first lesson in advance?

She’s your “good friend” that has previously put business your way. And for the sake of what £30 ( which you didn’t work for) you would risk the friendship?
I see why you might feel mifted if you feel she’s cheated but I’d have more empathy for a close friend and truculent child. Still up to you what your priorities are.

She’s your “good friend” that has previously put business your way. And for the sake of what £30 ( which you didn’t work for) you would risk the friendship?

As I said in my follow-up post:

My friend is actually very warm and generous and I suspect this was just a bit of thoughtlessness on her part. I’m not going to fall out with her over it: I just wanted to see if iwbu.

My friend is actually very warm and generous and I suspect this was just a bit of thoughtlessness on her part. I’m not going to fall out with her over it: I just wanted to see if iwbu

Pointless thread then.

For a friend I would let this go, but this is one of the reasons I don’t teach friend’s kids-waters become muddied! It’s so important to maintain that professional distance.

I'd send her an invoice with a friendly and polite message.

'Hi DF, please find my invoice for the cancelled lesson attached. Hope all is well with DS's studies.'

If she is generally a thoughtful and generous person then she will just be a little embarrassed at forgetting to pay you and apologise.

It would be incredibly rude to think she could cancel last minute and not pay. I doubt she expects this is ok, she's probably just forgotten

If it was me, I’d offer to pay, but I might actually think that the tutor would tell me not to worry and would not charge me.

It needs to be payment in advance (24 hrs before or whatever) even if only for the first lesson. Then the other lessons worded as a block booking. This then covers the unlikely event of a calculation and the loss of your preparation time and the fact you can't fill the space at that late notice.

To clarify some points, I do already have a policy which means that lessons are paid for whether or not the student turns up

I don’t understand. If you have a policy already, why are you asking if you need another one?

She is obviously thinking her son didn't do ANY lesson and isn't going to be joining to do any lessons so she doesn't feel the need to pay anything. I can see her point. She doesn't know you had already put a lot of work into preparing it.

It's something you need to explicitly add to your terms and conditions in future.

The policy covering missed lessons is different in that a parent pays for a term once their child is attending lessons. So in that case they've pre-paid or know there's a set fee due for the term even if a class is missed.

This is a slightly different scenario so it's worth having the wording covering it.

I think due to the confusion over the taster and her previously having paid you for work, I would chalk it up to experience and move on.