To approach a stranger for help?

[DeNiroDeFaro]

There's a woman in my field who I know of, we have a Twitter 'relationship' and I'd imagine she knows my work even if she doesn't know it's mine IYSWIM. Helps that I know she interviewed to be the head of my department and was offered but turned it downs

I want to approach to her to ask her to be a mentor of sorts. Not so formal but she's done really well in her career and I'm surrounded by blokes, so it would be nice to have someone who understands what it takes to get ahead in our world.

Can I cold email/DM her? I know on paper it seems normal but part of me feels I'm being cheeky for essentially asking her to give me her time/expertise/knowledge for nothing in return?

She may be flattered to be asked. I'm not sure how you know she applied at your company but I would avoid disclosing that.

Connect on LinkedIn and go from there, maybe?

I'd ask. I was once asked to mentor a younger colleague. I was flattered and enjoyed it a lot. Also, didn't take up lots of my time. We just had lunch/coffee and talked. Occasionally I'd help her with projects that involved me reading things, but it's my field, so I found it interesting.

Just connect with her, tell her that you admire her and whether you could meet up so you could pick her brains on xyz. If she says yes and it goes well, just ask her if you could call on her again for advice.

Go for it.

You say she'd get nothing in return, but mentoring is actually very rewarding in of itself.

I don't think you have anything to lose! She may have a genuine reason why she can't help or she may say yes! Good luck!

I'm mentoring someone at the moment and I never really thought to be flattered they'd asked!

But I suppose it is flattering to be asked isn't it because they want to learn from how you have done things.

I'm quite socially awkward though so that's probably why.

I'd ask.

I would suggest asking her for coffee, as you are fascinated by what she does/ admire everything she has achieved....

Then have a chat with her. See if you click- start to build a relationship. The best mentor relationships happen by building a relationship and they become that way- not by cold calling and asking for the formal role straight up.

She is much more likely to say yes to a coffee than a big, straight off commitment to someone she has never met. And it is more flattering to be asked AFTER you have met, as this suggests it is not just a political calculation based on cv/ status, but an actual connection that hopefully you both appreciate.

Good luck!