to think it's ok for small boys to run sticks along the wall as they walk to school

[Thornbird]

My sister was walking her boys to the childminder this morning. The boys are five and three and they both had picked up sticks on the way and were running them along railings and walls as they went. So far so normal.

Then a woman came up to my sister and said "I can't believe you're letting them do that - it's vandalism"...

My sister said when she really looked at the wall you could see that the sticks had left faint scuff marks like chalk marks on the wall, but the sort of marks that get washed off in the rain, or that you can rub off with a finger. And they hadn't really seen the marks - they were just enjoying running the sticks along the wall. I can imagine doing it myself to be honest!

Now I am the world's nastiest litter monitor - but I really wouldn't mind about this and it never occurred to me that small boys weren't allowed to run sticks along walls any more. If you can't do this, can you draw a hopscotch grid on the pavement outside your house with chalk like we used to?

What's the verdict?

I agree that this particular example is probably fairly innocuous, but I wouldn't encourage my kids to do this sort of thing simply because it sends mixed messages about what's OK and isn't:

• blunt stick on wooden garden fence - probably OK
• blunt stick along railings in park - probably OK
• blunt stick along railings outside house - not OK - noisy - and I've lived in a flat with railings outside en route to a school (nightmare...)
• dirty stick along new/ light colored/painted fence - not OK (leaves marks)
• stick along side of car - not OK (leaves scratches)

How on earth do you explain the differences to a child?

We have a simple rule that we respect our own, and other peoples property.

DS2 had a 'friend' over who kept whacking the heads off the roses in our garden with a stick. When I told him to stop he looked quite surprised .

MotherFunk,

I am not saying that the woman's reaction was appropriate. It hardly sounds like the kids were vandalizing property. I am just saying that I would personally not allow my boys to do it. The OP may have sweet boys that never get out of control but if my boys had sticks it would esculate. One moment they would be innocently lightly running a stick across a fence and the next they would be whipping each other with the stick or even worse.

Not only do I think that it (the OP) is absolutley fine, but I also think it's fine for children to walk along walls, draw in chalk on pavements and pick leaves off hedges. As long as they don't enter private property, or cause any damage - and vague scuff marks along a wall or railing are not damage! - then I see absolutely no reason to restrict them.

Message withdrawn

I am planning to teach my children to play 'knock down ginger' ... OK or NOT OK?

Carrying sticks in an urban environment BAD
Carrying sticks at the park or woods GOOD if not damaging property/ injuring or threatening anyone.

I'm all for freedom of expression and creative play - but sticks in towns are not the best outlet for this.