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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You don’t suffer fools gladly

71 replies

Furiosoemalioso · 10/09/2019 18:36

A colleague said this to me today, she wasn’t being unkind. I took it as a compliment but the more I think about it the less sure I am! AIBU to think this is something to be proud of?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/09/2019 19:00

The thing about being a fool is that people don't recognise that about themselves. Ever. They can recognise it instantly in everybody else though.

HarryYerAWizard · 10/09/2019 19:01

@Rocketmanager - I was just about to reply that 😆

I’d take that as a compliment.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 10/09/2019 19:01

Personally I'd take it as a frank statement rather than a compliment or insult. Like, "I have brown hair." Never really thought it was something to be proud or embarrassed about.

Siameasy · 10/09/2019 19:02

To me it’s positive

Tableclothing · 10/09/2019 19:04

For me it depends on your job role... If you're a brain surgeon, fair do's, I wouldn't want people messing about while I was the patient. If you're an undertaker, then it might behove you to reconsider your approach.

TheCatsACunt · 10/09/2019 19:07

It’s a compliment, especially in a work setting. It means you don’t kowtow to time wasters for the sake of it.

My manager is one of my best friends and she described me as this recent in the context of “We’ll send CatsACunt in to deal with this mess- it’s gone on too long and she doesn’t suffer fools gladly so will get it sorted”.

sonjadog · 10/09/2019 19:08

I think it is meant as a compliment, but if it was said about me, I think I would stop up and think if that was really the person I wanted to be. Do I want to be someone who thinks I am superior to other people and that they are not worthy of my attention? Not really.

starsparkle08 · 10/09/2019 19:08

I think it’s a compliment - means you see through cheeky feckers and don’t let people walk all over you . You can assess people and establish their intentions and if genuine or not

Original poster
Furiosoemalioso · 10/09/2019 19:09

Ooh a real mix then! We were actually talking about another person who my colleague has never met. Her comment was along the lines of, “well he must be trustworthy if you are friends with him because you don’t suffer fools gladly.” Not sure if that makes sense or not.

OP posts:
puppymouse · 10/09/2019 19:09

I'd have to have a fairly close relationship with someone to say that and mean it nicely OP. And I don't suffer fools either. I would say it about a colleague who was direct to the point of rudeness and a bit intimidating.

Loopytiles · 10/09/2019 19:10

Not a compliment

YeOldeTrout · 10/09/2019 19:13

I didn't get along with Sarah.
Someone said "That's because Sarah doesn't suffer fools gladly."
I took it as an enormous insult.

Sarah has been (is) a notorious bully to others, but for me simply ignorant, arrogant & inconsiderate.

Tableclothing · 10/09/2019 19:14

Sounds like she respects your judgement then.

Sniv · 10/09/2019 19:18

It's a double-edged one - it can really depend on the speaker and the context as to whether it's a real compliment or a back-handed one.

However, I do take the phrase as a warning sign if someone uses it to describe themselves. It, along with 'I tell it like it is', usually means the person is a bit of a gobshite in my experience.

And, no, I don't think I'm a fool Grin

Yabbers · 10/09/2019 19:25

Not a compliment, I would take that as the speaker thinking you were noticeably rude to people you didn't like. They've said it because they've noticed.

Nonsense. That’s not what it means at all.

PinkLacy · 10/09/2019 19:26

It's a compliment to my ears

Rocketmanager · 10/09/2019 19:30

If i said it to someone I’d be complementing them

PuppyMonkey · 10/09/2019 19:30

In the context of the full sentence, I’d take that as a compliment. But yes, I think there’s a danger of it sometimes actually meaning: “You are overly blunt and rude to people.”Grin

Siameasy · 10/09/2019 19:35

It means you don’t pander to idiotic people or their attention seeking crap - I’m in favour of that.
I spose in the context of being trustworthy it would mean you’d suss out a flaky person and not get involved with them.

Tcga745 · 10/09/2019 19:37

People say this about me and I always thought that it’s because I am a bit impatient and irascible. I think my colleagues put up with it because I get the impression they think I am a bit eccentric too.
But I absolutely never “tell it as I see it” or whatever the phrase is. This is just a device that people use to justify rudeness and unkindness and it is awful. It is possible to be impatient without being unkind. Kindness is very underrated.

ElizaPancakes · 10/09/2019 19:38

I think it really depends on context.

In OP’s example - clear compliment.

In @YeOldeTrout example - clear insult to YOT; unsure about intent toward Sarah.

OMGshefoundmeout · 10/09/2019 19:44

It depends how you manifest it. I CBA with stupid people so I do a private internal eye roll and then ignore them as much as I can without being openly rude or unfriendly. Luckily my job doesn’t involve me working closely with other people so I can get away with it. If your colleague has noticed this in you perhaps you are showing your impatience or irritation more openly?

ChicCroissant · 10/09/2019 20:04

Definition from Collins English Dictionary:-

If you do not suffer fools gladly, you are not patient with people who you think are stupid.

herculepoirot2 · 10/09/2019 20:05

Does anyone? Sometimes we have to suffer fools with patience and compassion, but gladly?

Batqueen · 10/09/2019 20:28

In that context it’s a compliment because she’s talking about who you choose to be friends with not how you are in work meetings.