To think that my family should still keep their things tidy even if I'm not working full time?

[frazzledmumofthree]

I have three children, y4, y6 and y9. Dh works very full time (leaves before 7.30, comes home 7) and the children are at school. I work some, but not all of all but one day per week.

I expect to do all the household stuff during the week, cooking, cleaning and laundry, plus household admin and bits of decorating.

Should I also expect to tidy up:
Breakfast prep and eating stuff (eg jam jars open, butter out of fridge, dishes on table)
Wet towels from bedroom floors
Shoes from all over the house
Homework and games etc left on table in kitchen
Clothes from my and other bedroom floors not put in laundry bin?

Happy to be told I should, but my heart sinks when I see the random stuff that needs to be dealt with before getting to any jobs like cleaning.

Should they keep tidy or is that on me too because I don't work as much?

No, not your job. Thy are all old enough to clear up after themselves.

I sometimes used to put the dirty breakfast things on DC beds if they didn't clear away.

They are much better now, stuff generally gets to within striking distance of the dishwasher, but doesn't often get inside unless I point it out. And I demand that they take it in turns to empty said dishwasher and put away.

Oh my goodness, OP. You are me. YANBU and I'm fed up of nagging and geeing my family up to do basic tidying - like putting wrappers in the bin and not just leaving them on the table. That's just my DH!!

Your children should absolutely be helping out, and you're doing them no favours by not demanding it. Time to write out who does what and when, and they also need to be taught that they should help without being asked. They have eyes, they can see if something needs to be done.

.............and they all know if it's not in the laundry basket it doesn't get washed, this really upsets DD a lot, but she still doesn't seem to learn. But I do pick up her clothes dropped in other areas of the house and dump them in her room.

Good to know I'm not completely out of order. I feel as if it would feel more of a pleasure to get a nice house ready for their return if I didn't start with doing stuff they could do which mostly just involves thinking about where to put stuff.

I'm not a naturally tidy person myself and it is just soul destroying to be constantly chasing my tail.

Still happy to hear that it is my job if people feel it is!

YANBU. I'm in exactly the same position as you in terms of my working hours and dh's. However in my house at least it's only the dc I have to nag about keeping stuff tidy. Dh is considerably tidier than I am!

Your job is to train your DC to tidy after themselves and k ow how to run the house

I have a year 4 and a year 6. I do not pick up after them. I make them come back and pick whatever it is up every time. Even if it takes 3 times longer than doing it myself. Every single time.

Another thing is that I have a designated place for almost everything. That way they always know where something goes and it always goes into the same place. Example : coats, shoes, backpacks, books, toys, etc. So there is no excuse of I don't know where to put it.

It does work, slowly but eventually!!

They should do their own picking up for two reasons
1 Its a life skill to know how to look after a home/yourself
2 You are not the maid (even if you are choosing to take on the bulk of the cleaning)

Not your job, and you're doing them a disservice if they grow up expecting someone else to pick up after them all the time. They should be picking up after themselves and getting age appropriate chores.