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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About getting my daughter to put her school uniform on (first day year R

19 replies

Chocofrollic · 10/09/2019 10:10

Help! I can’t get my dd(4) to put any of her school uniform on. In hindsight I should have tried last week more but my previous child had no issue and was super excited so based on that I thought it would be ok. Even bribes are not working. Help! ( she needs to be there at 1200)😬

OP posts:

WildCherryBlossom · 10/09/2019 10:13

I've never had this might I might try resorting to humour to diffuse the stubborn-ness. Clown about trying to put it on yourself, squeezing toes into one of the socks etc.

PatriciaHolm · 10/09/2019 10:14

If you really can't, I'd take her anyway, with it, and tell the teachers. She won't be the only one they've ever seen to do it! Once she's there surrounded by others in uniform she may change her mind.

BarbariansMum · 10/09/2019 10:17

Is she usually fussy about what she wears or is it just she doesn't like the uniform, or doesn't want to get dressed? Or does she not want to go to school?

Assuming you've already tried talking to her mine, they either had to stay in their bedrooms til dressed (they usually caved in 15 min) or, once, they were marched to school in pajamas w uniform in a bag (never had a problem after that).

That said, if it's her first day it wont hurt to go gently, gently. Would she compromise by putting on the jumper? Better to get her there excited than in tears. Once she sees the other children in uniform she may be more willing to wear it and, if not, you can get tougher next week.

Original poster

Chocofrollic · 10/09/2019 10:21

Barbariansmum it's mostly the collar on the polo shirt she is refusing. My husband feels it's better to start as we mean to go on.

OP posts:

Seeline · 10/09/2019 10:23

I agree - don't force it at this stage.
Lay it out for her, and perhaps mention about half an hour before you leave, whether she is going to get ready now. If she still doesn't want to, pop her jumper/cardigan in her bag so that she has something of uniform to put on when she changes her mind seeing all the other children in theirs.
Mention it to the teacher, and see if she has any advice. I'm sure they won't be too fussy for the first few days.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 10/09/2019 10:23

Do you have a plain white t shirt you can put her in instead? I think it’s better to make as little of an issue of it as possible.

Seeline · 10/09/2019 10:23

Does the collar have an itchy label in it you could cut out?

NuffingChora · 10/09/2019 10:24

Does the polo have an embroidered badge? If so they can be REALLY itchy and uncomfortable - we’ve popped a little sleeveless vest on underneath here and seems to make it a bit more bearable. And don’t bother with the top button on the collar at least to start off with.

bluechameleon · 10/09/2019 10:24

Definitely be gentle - this is almost certainly a sign of anxiety. I'd leave it for a bit and do something nice together that gives you a chance for cuddles and chat. Listen to any worries she expresses and don't dismiss them. Try getting dressed again later and make it playful- put the uniform on a teddy but do it wrong e.g. trousers on head. Maybe you can get her excited about Whatsapping a photo to Daddy/Granny/Uncle?

NearlyGranny · 10/09/2019 10:26

Clowning is a great idea! If you can get her laughing, you're halfway there.

If she digs her heels in, let her go as she is - assuming she isn't still in pyjamas - and take the uniform in a bag, another brilliant idea from PP. Alert the teacher beforehand if possible to explain what's been going on.

DD is still only four. Once she's there, she may well decide she wants to look like the others. And a good part of me thinks uniform for tinies is daft anyway.

DS sobbed when he saw his first school uniform laid out: "I don't want to wear all that nasty grey!" Quite.

Simkin · 10/09/2019 10:26

Is it compulsory? If not I wouldn't bother as she will most likely want to conform when she gets there. And it's not the end of the worried if she doesn't.

If it is compulsory I'd let her hang around in her vest for a bit and when it's time to go be very breezy and 'right! School to on for school! Time to go!' about it.

BarbariansMum · 10/09/2019 10:26

Well you know your child best, and know whether being brisk but firm is better than compromising. My youngest is v rule abiding, so for him not wearing the right thing would be worse than any discomfort but I know other children would just rebel or get upset.

If she's quite a sensitive little thing personally I'd let her wear the rest of the uniform today and wash the polo tops again to soften it (if it's not already been washed). But really it's not worth a huge arguement at this stage.

NearlyGranny · 10/09/2019 10:30

If your DH is taking over, let him. He can do the uniform wrangling while you have a cuppa, just don't be bounced into taking over if he makes things worse.

"Over to you, then, send her down when she's ready, “ is the tack to take. If she winds up still not dressed and upset to boot, revert to plan A.

Situation is ticklish enough without DH opining at you from the sidelines!

AntiHop · 10/09/2019 10:33

My 5 year old loves matching her clothes. Could she choose some matching clips and knickers, so she feels in control of the situation.

hiyahen · 10/09/2019 10:42

I had this from my 2 year old in a minor way when he started playgroup (one where you leave them). He refused to wear his indoor shoes - he'd never had them before, I guess like your daughters polo shirt it's something to get used to.

I explained to the staff and they let him wear his outdoor shoes for the first few weeks until he settled in. Once he clocked everyone else changing their shoes he was happy to have his changed too.

So I agree with the PP's who say either get her in the jumper if she'll go for it without the polo or take her in something else (maybe in the school colour if you have it?). Better to get her in happy. And let the teachers know. They will be great at helping her to get over it.

I hope she has a great afternoon

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/09/2019 10:48

Put her in a plain t-shirt of the right colour. Don't make school a battle. I'm sure any reception teacher would rather have a relaxed 4year old in slightly wrong uniform then a stressed one in correct uniform

Princessdebthe1st · 10/09/2019 10:55

Do not make it a battle. Her first day of school can be scary. Put on what you can possibly swapping the polo for a plain t-shirt and explain to the teachers when you get there. Starting as you mean to go on sounds like setting up for conflict which is not a good idea at this point. I would also remove any labels that might be irritating and wash them with really good fabric conditioner so they are nice and soft.

Original poster

Chocofrollic · 10/09/2019 13:23

Thanks everyone for your advice. I managed the polo shirt with black leggings white socks and school shoes. Could have been worse.

OP posts:

Applejack5 · 10/09/2019 13:47

Sounds like you did well!

I think I must be a mean mother when I read things like this, as I wouldn't put up with my DD trying something like this. I would tell her she has to wear it or there will be consequences, and leave her in her room to get dressed in it. I suppose each child is different though... Maybe I'd act differently if she was more sensitive in general! She is starting school this week, and fortunately quite excited about her uniform.

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