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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kittens suddenly!

41 replies

recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:13

A (somewhat flaky) friend has suddenly acquired a pair of 8 week old kittens.
She is vague about where from.
She is giving them kitten food (ok) but milk like we have from the supermarket. Not kitten milk.
Myself and another friend have told her this is wrong but her boyfriend says its right and we are wrong.
Also the litter tray is in a big cardboard box with the food. 🤢(not envy) and she doesn't plan to vaccinate, chip or neuter (they are boys so the resulting kittens wont be her problem).
She just doesn't seem like she s got what it takes to look after them.
I have had cats since i was a kid but she would rather do it her own way.
I don t think I m being unreasonable to be concerned for these kittens welfare but she hasn't actually abused or purposefully neglected them.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
EscapeTheOrdinary · 10/09/2019 08:19

They are far too young to have left their mum and now they are being looked after by someone so irresponsible. I would be showing her links and advice on cats being lactose intolerant, let her know if she doesn’t vaccinate and medicate them she may end up with worms and fleas herself and show her countless links about cats needing their food and water away from where they go to the toilet. If that didn’t sink in I would report her to rspca.

SolemnlySwear2010 · 10/09/2019 08:19

She will soon learn re milk when they puke / diarrhoea everywhere! One of my cats is really sensitive to dairy - doesnt stop him trying to eat pizza or drink tea Hmm) and would be really ill if he drank milk.

I would be worried that she doesn't plan to do the basic things like mircochip, vaccinate and I'm assuming deflea/worm that she wont think of the bigger things like insurance. So hope would they cope if one of the kittens became really ill?

Butchyrestingface · 10/09/2019 08:22

Does the flakey friend have other cats already?

If so, perhaps she knows what she’s doing. If not, then yes, you have a point. Will she listen to reason?

MashedSpud · 10/09/2019 08:24

Tell the dumbass to google.

Original poster
recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:25

*@escapetheordinary*thank you. I thought they were far too young too.
We have tried showing her the dairy links but she would rather believe her boyfriend.
I said they will get diarrhoea and asked if she s registered them with a vet.
Evasive answer "err not yet".

OP posts:
lilypips · 10/09/2019 08:25

There isn't anything you can do.

I know of an animal lover who lives rurally, never has her cats bite red and regularly has a litter of unsocialised kittens roaming in her outbuildings. She sells them for £100 each and because she is well respected In other animal communities, she gets away with it with the cats. It's disgusting but the SSPCA won't act because the cats/kittens have food and water.

lilypips · 10/09/2019 08:26

Never had her cats NEUTERED Blush

Original poster
recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:27

@butchyrestingface no she has never had a cat.
She suddenly decided she wanted kittens after her sister got a rescue cat from Cats Protection

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 10/09/2019 08:28

My cats always drank our milk and both lived healthy lives for their 20+ years.

She ll learn . Maybe you could point out those free/cheap neutering days/weeks that vets sometimes run.

Ronsters · 10/09/2019 08:31

Hopefully the adult toms will spray everywhere and encourage her to get them neutered. Uneutered toms will also roam and fight much more. A lot of people have this attitude with male cats, they don't have to deal with unwanted kittens that get dumped or end up being sold on dubious websites, so not their problem. If she cares at all about animal welfare she should get them snipped.

Original poster
recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:31

@lilypips that s dreadful. This woman has boy cats and plans to let them out when they are older.
She doesn't want to neuter as they wont be the ones getting pregnant (so its lucky us with girl cats are more responsible then).
It s not money as she gets some benefits so could get them done really cheaply.

OP posts:
Coldilox · 10/09/2019 08:33

She’ll regret not having the neutered when they start spraying everywhere

Ronsters · 10/09/2019 08:35

I think Cats Protection do a snip and chip scheme, if she is getting some benefits this may even be free.

Bitchfeatures · 10/09/2019 08:37

Some cats are ok with milk, mine have a drop from time to time, only one is intolerant to it, and that's one cat out of 7.
So I know not to give him it.
Your friend will soon learn when or if they get ill from it.

She obviously isn't set up to have these cats but I'm not sure what you can do, as for the neutering, could you approach it by saying she should get them done as if not they will go out mating and often they dont come back, that might make her think twice about it, if money if the issue have a look see if you have a scheme in your area for free/reduced neutering.

Original poster
recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:40

*@ronsters*they do. I had our girl done at a reduced price when i was on working tax credit.
But you have to phone up and sort it and the vet yourself and I dont think she will bother as "they are boys. They cant get pregnant ". Angry

OP posts:
RandomFactor · 10/09/2019 08:41

She's been irresponsible, but not actually neglectful, so quite what posters above advising to report her are thinking, I've no idea. I've owned cats for 30+ years, and most of them drank normal milk with little or no ill-effect. I have had some chipped, most not, some vaccinated, most not. They've lived long healthy lives (mostly). I have always had them spayed or neutered though, as I think that's responsible.

CoraPirbright · 10/09/2019 08:42

Does her sister know more about cats (given that she has just adopted)? Perhaps your dimwit friend (and wanker boyfriend) might listen to her? Coldilox makes a good point re: spraying. If I had a crystal ball, I would predict these poor cats also making their way to the rescue centre at some point, through no fault of their own.

Iwantacookie · 10/09/2019 08:44

Buy her a book on kittens or pick up some leaflets on kittens from the vets.
This is why people shouldn't be able to get cats without going through a vets.
Cats are escape artists. I had a scare before one of mine was too young to be neutered. Managed to get out for an hour. We were lucky that she didn't end up pregnant.
The cats wont shit by where they eat and start shitting elsewhere. Shell soon learn that one.

easyandy101 · 10/09/2019 08:46

Some cats ( well all the cats I've owned) were fine with dairy

Cat specific formula is quite a recent thing

madeyemoodysmum · 10/09/2019 08:46

The stink will be beyond normal if she doesn’t neuter. They will fight a load. Tonnes of vet bills. They will go awol regularly too. She needs to get them neutered!

Original poster
recklessruby · 10/09/2019 08:53

@coraPirbright her sister has a boy cat of 2 and a half and thoroughly researched before getting him. Also he came neutered and chipped and vaccinated.
She keeps up to date with vaccinations and flea and worm treatment. She s a good owner but her sister would rather listen to the boyfriend.
What I worry about is the novelty will wear off when they are no longer cute kittens and grow up.
Also I cant help wondering where she got them as they are too young to leave mum?
And they have appeared suddenly.

OP posts:
Nicklebox · 10/09/2019 08:53

We have a boy cat and he is neutered i thought they sprayed (marked their territory if they weren't.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/09/2019 09:04

Tom cats fight and stink and are not nice pets. She'll learn that within a few months if they're not neutered. They'll end up roaming and covered in abcesses.

She can get neutering done for free or a tiny amount via all manner of animal charities big and small. I foster for a rescue and we have a deal with the vets we use where they do it for £5/10 or free for people on a low income.

They'll be fine away from their mum at that age, that's not an issue and they'll play and keep each other company. But they do need a proper litter tray, away from their food.

I'd keep an eye on her and the kittens to make sure she's coping and offer advice and support if she's not. At our rescue we take in quite a lot of kittens from people who don't realise that they're quite hard work at that age, make a mess, destroy furniture or get sick and need veterinary treatment.

And I really recommend insurance, especially if they end up going outside and risk being run over, fight injuries etc. BIL and SIL had to have their cat PTS because it survived a road accident and they couldn't afford treatment.

MotherOfLittlePeople · 10/09/2019 09:06

YANBU

Our new next door neighbour about 3 weeks ago now discovered there was 6 kittens living in her shed with the mother. I offered help because they need spaying/neutering, worming and defleaing. She declined my offer ( I know a lady that runs a rescue centre) said she wanted to keep them and look after them! There is now only 4 kittens and I haven't seen her go out and feed them for a week only her friend. They are feral now. Spoke to friend yesterday and he said rspca are involved but I'm yet to see them round there. Don't want to interfere to much as we were warned about her before moving in here. But I'm afraid I will have to call them if they aren't here within a few days. Leaving food out is attracting rats and although the mother is killing the rats they are just left in the garden. Wish people would think of the animals and do their research before suddenly buying pets or keeping them if they find them!

covetingthepreciousthings · 10/09/2019 09:09

Also the litter tray is in a big cardboard box with the food. 🤢(not envy) and she doesn't plan to vaccinate, chip or neuter (they are boys so the resulting kittens wont be her problem)

Angry I wish they would begin to have some kind of pet register, so you can only get a kitten or cat if you plan on being a responsible pet owner.

I would guess these kittens will be offered for free on a Facebook page as soon as they stop being cute... Sad