To think DC's nursery are twee and slightly rude?

[beahunnywashyourtummy]

There's a new (laminated) sign up at the door saying

When you come to greet me
Please don't cheat me
Smile and say how was your day
Laugh and giggle and spread some smiggle
I missed you today
Don't go away
Away on your phone far away
Instead just greet me
Don't try to cheat me
Let's go home and have some fun!

I wasn't aware of it (I've been off with DS), but someone's posted it into the WhatsApp group. It's clearly stuck on the door outside the nursery.

Obviously it's a message to get more parents to be 'present' at pick up time which is very valid and true, but, AIBU to vomit at how twee and ridiculous it is?

What on earth is a smiggle?! Isn't that an overpriced shop for stationary? In which case, no, I won't be sharing any smiggle

I think it is a light-hearted attempt by one of the young nursery staff to get parents to focus on their darling child/ren when picking up and dropping off. I see it all the time in Reception. The kids are tired and excited to see their family member and all they get is a parent looking at their phone.
We've also found children's speech is getting worse when they start in Nursery /Reception.

yes I'm sure the psychologists are onto something they call it 'disrupted interaction' when parents are in the middle of interacting and then suddenly go for their phone. With hindsight, I wish I'd made better use of the advice to check emails/messages at intervals - hard if you do a job where quick response is part of appearing to take things seriously though.

It's a shit poem, but shittier still that the nursery feels it has to resort to such namby pamby messages to get some parents to put their fucking phone down without hurting their delicate feelings.

My 11 year old can write better poetry than that! It's embarrassing!

I suspect one of the workers wrote it and the others all thought it marvellous.

Write a better one and pin it up over the twee one.

I'd prefer the more direct approach (if they must police the parents) of "mobile free zone". It's difficult given the time we live in where often responding to emails straight away is a way of showing you are working. I know a few people who might work from home and nip to collect their children during their working day. I don't even get to do nursery pickups, I have to send my parents, I'm even less present!

It is more than a bit twee but I find it's sadder that parents need to be told to acknowledge their child's existance! When I've collected a grandchild from nursery/after school care there have been some who don't speak to the staff or their child, Come on, hurry up, get in the car! The child may be waving their 'art' work about but it's ignored too, poor children.

When you come to pick me up
Do what you want,
I don't give a fuck
Look at your phone
Scratch your bum
Just bring me some sweets
Cos' you're my Mum

There are a lot of posters shooting the messenger here. The point is to get off your phones while collecting your children.

That's fine. If the nursery wants to be mobile free, they can just put up a saying saying "no mobile phones". There's no need for the crap, cringe-inducing poem that's just going to be laughed at and most likely ignored.

But, I think it's a bit 'off' to police other adults about their phone usage? If it's not a safeguarding concern then it really isn't someone else's place to tell another adult they're using their phone inappropriately, no?

I disagree. Plenty of places "police" the use of mobile phones - cinemas, GP surgeries, hospitals. Lots of workplaces don't allow the use of mobile phones and restrict their use to break times only. If a private company like a nursery wants to ban the use of mobiles on site, they have every right to do so. You can put your phone down for five minutes while you drop off/collect your child - it won't kill you.

Agree with pp who said that surely this can't actually be a massive issue at drop off and pick up. When I do it (two kids now, but same with one), my hands are filled with kids and bags and coats, I literally have no hands left to be on the phone. I also need to have a quick chat with the nursery worker I'm handing off to about sleep, and breakfast, and moods and whatever else. So there's no way I can be scrolling FB or even on a phone call at the same time.

Just as an aside - those of you who mentioned anxiety/speech issues and 'disrupted interaction' (bowerbird and breaconoptimist, sorry if I missed anyone) - do you have links or more information on those studies? I'm genuinely interested, btw, not being facetious. Is it specifically the phone, or just the disrupted interaction, that is the problem? My dad was an unbelievable bookworm - he very rarely was without a book or a newspaper in his hand. He was never really listening to us when we chatted to him, tbh - he would just glance up for a second or often talk while reading. At least, that's my abiding memory of him from childhood anyway! Or what about being 'brushed off' a bit by parents making dinner, or doing housework, or talking with their friends etc? These are all disrupted interactions, but I don't think they are generally seen as problematic. I often think about that guilt-tripping meme, the cartoon one with the two parents sitting on the sofa engrossed in their phones and the sad child in between them holding a toy. I wonder though if you replaced the phone with a book, would it be the same effect? Is it that kids know that phones are a form of interaction with someone else (and therefore, they are less important), but say a book or newspaper is 'blank'?

I do think phones are very addictive, and I know that I have to physically put mine away and on silent when I'm trying to focus on anything else (the kids, sure, but even watching television shows). So I can see that yes, that phones might be different - there is that constant/immediate pull of messages and notifications. But also, I think this is part of a larger cultural shift in parenting - the idea that we need to be constantly focused on and engaging with our kids at all times or they are being emotionally harmed.

Twee = yes
Rude = no

In our old primary school parents were banned from having phones in their hands at pick up/ drop off. I thought it was brilliant. School premises, they can make any rules. I think it was said more 'directly' than this poem, which is trying to do it nicely. And hopefully it made parents think twice about using phones constantly around kids outside school too.

It's awful, and I also resent the dictation. Not that I'd use a phone on a nursery as I understand it's usually banned for safeguarding purposes which is fair but I don't need lectured on how to parent my child. I also dislike the similar (but more agressive) sign that circulated where a shop said they'd refuse to serve a customer on their phone as it was rude. As long as you're not holding anyone up then what's the problem? It's not a requirement to have small talk with the cashier - it might be an important call. I'm in a shop to get and pay for goods not for a social event. I'd shop elsewhere if I saw that sign.

I think it was said more 'directly' than this poem, which is trying to do it nicely.

I think I'd find it nicer if they just had a sign up saying no phones allowed on the premises like they do in other places.

There is nothing nice about implying you are cheating your child by being on your phone. Pick up time is a small snap shot of a persons day.

The person they see on the phone might be desperately trying to get hold of a relative to inform them someone in the family is unwell before spending all afternoon playing games with their child.

Whilst the person not on the phone when collecting might then go home and ignore their child all evening whilst they play candy crush.

But its ok because person 2 wont feel the guilt because they were 'present' when collecting their child. Whereas person 1 will probably spend all evening feeling even worse because they were 'cheating' their child when they collected them.

Boak. Is this an advert for that gimmicky stationery shop?

• I do think that goodbyes and greetings after time apart are very important, and it is good to make contact with your kid immediately on seeing them.

But twee, smug, pressurising self righteous signs like that make me eyeroll.

I also dislike the similar (but more agressive) sign that circulated where a shop said they'd refuse to serve a customer on their phone as it was rude

Of course it's rude. It's common courtesy to give your attention to a human interaction. I don't know how anyone can't see that.
Maybe it's innate in some of us but not in others.

But @CheeryB it's not always possible in real every day life, could be in a massive rush grabbing something desperately needed while taking an important call. It's perfectly fine to have the idle chit chat when there's time to do so.

To add you can still smile/acknowledge/say thank you while on the phone

Er.....what is smiggle, and how does one spread it?
Is it sticky?
Edible?
What do you put it on?
Does it leave marks?

So many questions.

I’m amazed phones are allowed in the first place. Mine is really strict. Yes the poem is awful but it’s worse that they’ve felt they needed to put something like that up. I’ve never seen any parents collect their children without a big hug etc at mine.

As someone who works in retail I think it's incredibly rude when people flat out ignore you and talk on the phone! I ignore customers who stand and talk on the phone at tills - your phone call can wait or you can wait - it's pretty simple.

Is it really that hard to say "can you just hold one moment" or "can I call you back" and have some basic manners to the person in front of you?

I have learnt not to ask my DC how their day was, I wait for them to tell me instead. Every time I asked they always seemed to get stressed out by the question for some reason so I’ve stopped asking. I greet them with a smile and say hello then let them ramble on about their day.

Smiggle isn’t a word, it is a shit company. I’d be annoyed by the sign too.

“Laugh and giggle and spread some smiggle”

What does that even mean?

Change it to “Giggle and laugh and spread barf”

😁

Spread SOME barf...

Get a red marker pen and write on it - Could do better F-

This made me cringe so hard it hurt. It bothers me that the culture in this country is to have people with such obvious displays of low intelligence in charge of children.