Doctor is making me feel like I'm wasting her time and anything medical is all in my head since I asked for counselling/cbt

[Harshsea]

Just that really. Gp speaks to me as though I'm wasting her time, in fact she is quite blunt about it!
Before the care was okay but since I had some CBT to address issues relating to some trauma I experienced she has started to treat me massively differently, has openly said I have to consider if the symptoms and pain are in my head and makes me feel I'm wasting her time.

I have a history of many multiple operational surgeries, ongoing conditions relating to that, early full menopause, total hysterectomy following severe endometriosis and very large cysts, I have a B12 defienciency, vit D deficiency and related neuro symptoms, chronic migraines, bowel and bladder damage due to a serious tear, a sling mesh repair, hand and body tremours, intermittent body weakness, ongoing joint pain, anxiety and PTSD and asthma.

I HAVE been to the GP 11 times since last November which sounds excessive BUT at least six of those appointments have been for my regular B12 injections, one was a follow up from blood tests which found something and I was asked to come in and one was a reaction of meds to other meds I was already taking.

The main symptoms she has declared are in my head are symptoms that are very very common symptoms of B12 deficiency and repeated daily on the B12 deficiency forums.

I have tried to change surgeries with no luck as no where locally had room. I do try to avoid her but it isn't always possible!

Aibu and attending excessively or is she BU and what do I do about it?

I can't answer in regards to you as I don't know your medical history and even though you've said you've got all these medical issues, I don't know if the stuff you're going to the GP for is reasonable.. I would say however that I have a friend who is constantly at the GP. Like monthly. For the most inane stuff. Like instead of going on a diet, she went to the GP for pills to help her lose weight. While continuing to stuff herself with takeaway and crap. I think she took the tablets twice. She has also recently been to the GP for having dandruff. The last appointment was that she had self diagnosed with misophonia, as people chewing loudly - and any noise really - really angers her.

So my point is, there are many people out there who treat the GP as their own personal pop in at the drop of a hat service. Whereas personally, I'd have to have my head hanging off before I visited the GP! So yeah, there are folk who misuse the service comletely and I can see why doctors get annoyed. I'm not sure if you're one of them though without personally knowing your medical history!

She is bu of course - you knew that.

Unfortunately this is VERY common.

What you are experiencing is the double whammy of sexism and prejudice against the mentally ill.

Both very major issues in the medical profession.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. You could make a formal complaint but (this is where I get flamed by all the gps and their loved ones but it's my life experience AND that of quite a number of my family/friends AND reported on many forums) this can lead to you having problems being registered with any GP in your area until the relevant authority steps in to insist a GP takes you on.

Keep a diary of symptoms that's as factual as possible, avoid her as much as possible and keep trying to change to a new surgery.

Sorry you're going through this

Make your appointments with the Advanced Nurse Practitioner/Practice Nurse/HCA instead of using GP appointments for everything.

You did say that six out of the eleven recent appts. were for B12 injections. You don't need to see the GP for those. Any of the nurses can do them.

Other than that - I sympathise. I used to have a horrible, dismissive and passive-aggressive GP.

Luckily she retired.

Are there other doctors at the practice? If your appts. are all for routine stuff you should be able to make appts. with another clinician.

If things get really bad, ask to see the Practice Manager and make a complaint.

"She has also recently been to the GP for having dandruff. The last appointment was that she had self diagnosed with misophonia, as people chewing loudly - and any noise really - really angers her"

TBF those are both legitimate reasons to see a doctor if they are on going conditions.

I think a pharmacist can deal with dandruff very adequately.

Not sure what a GP can do about misophonia?

YANBU.

When I was being diagnosed with endo, I went to the doctors every day for about 2 weeks! My GP (female) told me my problems were in my head and told me to stop coming in. The next day a different doctor referred me to the hospital for surgery.

This sounds completely sexist but I find when you have issues that stem from...well, your uterus, male doctors are better because they don't have anything to compare it to. That has been my experience anyway.

I wouldn't see her again and find a better GP.

If you are being treated for the b12 deficiency, I would think that should resolve most of the symptoms? Sounds like you have been through a lot. Do you think the GP might have a point about there being some psychological component? Clearly they were unkind and unhelpful in the way they discussed this, particularly as sounds they were blaming you and making you feel like a time waster. However very commonly physical symptoms have a psychological component so don’t dismiss this idea. Are you getting help for your anxiety / ptsd?

Sorry, it’s literally in your title you’ve asked for cbt

"I think a pharmacist can deal with dandruff very adequately.

Not sure what a GP can do about misophonia"

Some dandruff medicines are prescription only.

Misophonia is a symptom of tons of different disorders so if it is a big issue for her, why not get it checked out?

How often do you have b12 jabs and how long have you been having them? I have b12 deficiency too and contrary to the airy assurance of my GP that the 3 monthly jabs will be all I need to feel ok again, it's actually taken 2 years plus of daily/every other day Injections to get me to the point where I feel approaching normal and able to reduce the frequency. If you read b12 forums you will know that this is very common - don't underestimate the effects this will be having.

Are you under any specialist teams?

Aibu may not be the best place for this, especially if you're feeling fragile.

Have you the means to pay for a private gp appointment? They have far more time allocated to each appointment.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

I'm a bit confused as to why - if you're having regular B12 injections - you still have symptoms of B12 deficiency though?

What changes have you made to your diet to address the vitamin deficiencies? There's surely a lot you can do to help yourself in that area.

Presumably the CBT/counselling is ongoing if you are still dealing with anxiety and PTSD.

The gynaecological issues sound very distressing and that absolutely is her job to treat - I'm not sure how those issues can be described as all in your head!

This happens a lot and is utterly shit.
I'm not medically trained at all but think I would be tempted to get a further opinion from gynae on the state of your mesh repair given recent research on the pain and immune type symptoms suffered by some people with them.

How often do you have b12 jabs and how long have you been having them? I have b12 deficiency too and contrary to the airy assurance of my GP that the 3 monthly jabs will be all I need to feel ok again, it's actually taken 2 years plus of daily/every other day Injections to get me to the point where I feel approaching normal and able to reduce the frequency.
Similar here. I'm on 12 weekly jabs but they don't last, I get 6-8 weeks out of them. Haven't managed to get a gp to take it seriously at all.

I've seen my gp or nurse 6 times since the start of August, plus two ooh drs and a trip to a&e. 2 of those were b12 and a health check ironic, the others are due to two ongoing issues with a bad back/dead arm (now awaiting mri) and a possible allergic reaction to bites. Normally my only contact with the surgery is b12 and an asthma review/thyroid check once a year. Sometimes these things hit in waves.

Can you request not to see that gp? There's one in our surgery I will only see in a complete emergency following dodgy advice he gave me that contradicts the nhs own website. I'm aware I'm not the only patient who has the same issue.

What can you do about it? . The number of visits to your GP sounds reasonable given your health issues. Have you been discharged from all out-patients clinics, if not is there anything more that the surgical/urology & neurology teams can do (e.g. surgical repair, for your bladder & bowel issues, & medications &/or diet review for headaches, GP referral to a pain clinic if needed? Have you been referred to a headache clinic to manage your migraines? Do you need to be referred or self-access more counselling? You might find the links below useful.

• www.bladderandbowel.org/
• www.migrainetrust.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/FS05aMigraineDiaries.pdf - Vitamin B12 deficiency symptoms are real, & can take 6-12 months to resolve. Be patient & kind to yourself.

Be clear about your expectations when you visit the GP, what do you want from the visit? Simply tell your GP if she is being dismissive, e.g. "that was dismissive", it makes people act more professionally. Book a double appointment if you're having difficulties with more than one health problem.

There are not enough GPs to go round.

You sound a bit like my MIL. She has many health issues and is constantly going to her GP, then complaining to us that the GP does nothing. However, what is happening in reality is that her medical issues cannot be 'cured' as such, only treated for symptoms. So she has COPD and complains that the GP doesn't send her to a specialist to cure it. She won't use her inhalers and ends up on steroids then complains that the steroids make her fat. She falls a lot and has had a myriad of tests, including bloods, MRI, fall clinic referral she etc. The MRI has shown some brain deterioration associated with Altzheimers, which explains the falling, but she insists that the GP should be able to do something to stop it happening. So every time she falls she rings the GP. Every time I speak to her she complains that the GP isn't doing her job because she isn't getting any better. What she cannot accept is that some of her symptoms will never improve, she has to learn to live with them and follow the advice and medication given to her.
Having complex medical needs is probably very draining, both physically and psychologically. Some of the conditions you have listed are ongoing, like my MILs, and as such can't be cured.
You have said she thinks your vitamin deficiency symptoms are psychological and you are on forums linked to that condition, yet you have regular injections and should be adjusting your diet to take account of that deficiency. Perhaps your GP is correct. Perhaps your symptoms are psychological. What was your PTSD diagnosis linked to? And what is the CBT for? Has it had any impact?
Finally, if you are visiting the GP unnecessarily then it's not their time you're wasting, it's taking up appointments unnecessarily that's probably frustrating the GP.
Why don't you sit down with someone you trust to be honest with you, and ask their opinion? Or perhaps just listen to your GP. You have had many procedures which have clearly impacted on your mental wellbeing, and this sounds like classic health anxiety to me now. Before you make your next appointment, stop and think about what you want the outcome to be, are you already being treated for whatever you want to see the GP (e.g. Vit deficiency), can it wait a week then see if things have improved, have I followed my GPS advice from the last consultation.
That may help you decide if you really need to take up that appointment or not.

👆👆👆 What she said.

should be adjusting your diet to take account of that deficiency
A high proportion of people who have b12 injections lack the enzyme to aid the intake b12 via food/supplementary pills. Changes in diet won't combat that.

@Soontobe60 Oh my goodness that was a useful post, thank you. I'm actually able to make sense of what's happening with my mum for the first time because of what you wrote.

Sorry just to be clear my B12 is NOT diet related.
It is the type (intrinsic factor? Not sure if that's right) where diet makes no difference and you can't absorb through food or similar (not entirely sure how it works) hence I have B12 injections every 8 weeks.
GP said she didn't think that B12 could cause neuro symptoms at all yet the support forums are full of people presenting with the same sort of symptoms was what I meant.

Soontobe60 I do get you however I do use my inhalers regularly.
I do take my meds properly.
I don't go to the GP about the bowel and bladder or endo or the hysterectomy or menopause et al.

For complete transparency the appointments have been.

6 B12 injection appointments (surgery nurse was off ill long term so GP did it)
1 over 40 check which I was asked to come for.
1 follow up blood tests after the hospital identified that I needed B12 and they wanted to retest after loading dose and the test flagged something else.
1 appointment because I was given naproxen by the hospital and had a horrible reaction to it.
One medication review which I was called in for.
One appointment because I woke up with weakness down one side including my face and had suffered from body and hand tremours in addition to migraines.

I feel your pain. I find many doctors’/consultants’ attitudes absolutely shocking.

Not getting better? Your own fault.

Experiencing side effects? Definitely psychological.

Aaaaaaaaargh!

She cant have it both ways. Say symptoms are all in your head plus get annoyed when you are asking for counselling or CBT

A high proportion of doctors appointments are for lonely old people or people with a cold/ sore throat completely wasting the doctors time so please dont worry, you have been using the service properly.

I think for a lot of chronic conditions its actually fairly common for the patient to know more than the GP as they arent specialists in everything. So you're not alone. She is probably frustrated that she cant help, I find some doctors are like this, if they cant fix it they dont accept that science or they dont know everything and just think it's in your head. Fortunately there are some great ones who will work with you to manage symptoms if they dont know the answer and have ruled everything out possible.

A close relative just had a diagnosis of a condition that she had been going to the doctors for 12 years for. She was told it was all in her head and to go to pain clinic. She actually researched it herself and privately contacted a consultant who diagnosed her within a couple of months. It's quite rare though so the GP hadn't 'missed' anything obvious.

I would try and get a new GP however if the old one thinks it's all in your head she will probably warn them if they are within the same practice. Ask if a nurse can do your injections. Keep researching. See if there are any specialist consultants that specialise in your issues and ask for a referral if you havent already

I don't think anyone here can reasonably say whether it's you or your doctor who is BU here, because ultimately we only have your word for it that you have the conditions and symptoms you say you do. I certainly think you absolutely believe you have all the conditions you say you do - and perhaps you do - but nobody here can say whether you do or not.

Don't let people here police your pain or medical conditions OP, I cannot see what you have said you have that is not a legitimate reason to visit the GP.

Those who think diet is the answer to a b12 deficiency need to educate themselves before speaking. Many people are not able to absorb b12 through their diet due to a range of health conditions, autoimmune and digestive. A b12 deficiency can cause very serious reduction in quality of life, can be disabling, and can cause permanent nerve damage if left unresolved (as mine was, and did)

OP I would arrange to have the b12 injections with the nurse if possible, although I would be having it looked into if you have been having injections for some but your symptoms are not improving? Have the levels been retested?

Unfortunately although it seems to be the greatest taboo to say so, the NHS is very poorly set up to manage chronic illnesses, rarer illnesses and multi disciplinary treatment plans. Diagnosis and treatment often take years to access, and you are no better off when you have a diagnosis as non specialist GP's and consultants often haven't heard of or are not aware of how to deal with unusual illnesses. You just have to keep asserting yourself and asking and asking. Your health is more important than one GP's opinion of you OP. They are just a person, are fallible, and not automatically sainted because they work for the NHS. Those who are not in the position of being unfortunate enough to experience that cannot possible know the toll it takes on your mental health.

Take care of yourself OP, pursue the CBT and try where possible to set aside thoughts of your u helpful GP and what she might think etc.