Nursery problem

[pumpkinbump]

I've posted this in childcare but I'm so stressed about it and desperate for some answer or advice so I hope it's okay to post here.

My daughter is 13 months and attends nursery 2 full days on a Tuesday and Wednesday. I work 16 hours over these 2 days. She still hasn't settled there although she was getting better. Tuesday and Wednesday last week I was asked by the nursery to leave work early to collect her as she was unsettled all day. I was also told it was unsettling the other babies and also because they had a full house of babies Wednesday {6 rather than 3 or 4} and as she had been unsettled she was having 1 to 1 care in that she wanted to be picked up all the time. When I went to collect her they asked me if I could ask work if I could do half days instead. This would mean working 16 hours over 3 days which would cost me more in childcare. The nursery have said they have Monday Tuesday and Wednesday available for my daughter to attend half days. Does this sound right? I feel not enough time has passed to settle her properly as she is only there 2 days a week for a month as she started at the end of July. Obviously babies who are there full time or more days settle more quickly. I told the nursery I would speak to work about this but the manager was not in until Monday. I emailed work this morning asking them if I could split my hours over three days for a month as the nursery have said they think this would benefit her. They have agreed to let me do this for a month. I then emailed the nursery to tell them but as today was impossible for me to work half day by the time I could sort anything out, I asked them if she could attend a half day Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday. They said they do not have any availability Thursday or Friday. I then said that in that case as I need to work my contracted Hours and was unable to take any more time off and I had no holiday to use, she would need to do full days Tuesday and Wednesday this week and we could start next week with the half days as I have no alternative childcare. They have basically refused this and said she can only do half days despite not offering me an alternative. They know I have no childcare to allow me to do a third half day this week to work my hours. They have even asked if anyone else can help look after her. Can anyone offer advice? Not really sure what I am asking, just want opinions really on this and what to do going forward. She's been attending a month at 2 days a week and they have asked me to collect her 4 times, once because she had a loose nappy which I understand bit the other times because she was unsettled. One of them being the first day she did a full day.

Just seen you asked for advice about finding a nursery.
I started by finding as many nurseries as I could. Then shortlisting them. By cutting out nurseries that were too far or I didn't like the website.
Then I visited nurseries for a look round and asked questions. Before deciding. I even took dd with me and watched how they interacted with her. The nursery I chose, let her look round with me then she was entertained by staff while I talked to the manager. This it what clinched the deal for me.
I learnt from experience having first sent dd to a local nursery that she didn't like.

Get another nursery I work in a nursery and we wouldn't dream of telling a parent what days they can work all children are different she will eventually settle in I wouldn't want that nursery looking after my child

I work in childcare. This is terrible of them. They haven't been very helpful at all. Find another day care. X

That's appalling! I'm astounded they think it's appropriate to tell you to change your hours

I would expect them to be honest with me that she's not settling. I'd expect them to hold her if she wants holding. Cuddle her if she's upset.

I'd maybe hope they would suggest some more settling in sessions where you go with her for a bit on some of your days off (this won't affect their ratios as far as I'm aware, as you are there looking after her) so there isn't that big gap between each week. Get her used to it being a nice place to be, and used to just being there so it's familiar.

They sound like they just can't be arsed, not an attitude that is desirable in a nursery at all.

I'd look for another nursery, they don't seem to be able to deal with what is normal for a 1 year old!

Hi. I own and run a successful day nursery with a great reputation and a long waiting list. Whilst I agree the nursery don’t seem to be handling this well at all, I do sympathise to a certain extent with a baby which is very difficult to settle. It is not in the child’s interests to be upset all day, despite the best efforts of the staff, and on occasion, we have called parents to say that their child is upset, and we suggest an early collection. HOWEVER, this is done after lots of other strategies have been tried, which it doesn’t sound like your nursery have.
Were settling in sessions offered? Were you asked if your child is used to being separated from you in any capacity? Were home visits with the key worker offered (these are massively helpful when trying to build a bond with staff members), have they asked you to bring in an item of your clothing which smells of you? Photographs? Have they asked if your child likes a particular song? Piece of music? Have you been asked to provide your own food just for the short term? Although nurseries can’t always offer 1:1, it doesn’t mean they never can....- and we have extra staff in the baby room whenever there are babies settling.
We ask parents about the date they return to work, and we use this date as a “deadline” that the child needs to be settled by. Some do take much much longer than others, but with a sound settling policy and flexibility and time on both sides, it should not be as difficult as it is for you.