she hates me doesnt she?

[Idontknowhowtofixthis]

in the interests of full disclosure here as i have name changed, i have anxiety (diagnosed by a gp) and suspected bpd. i am currently in counselling but i dont have another appointment until friday.

today i remembered that it was my best friends dds birthday in a couple of weeks. im a bit out of touch with kids these days so i texted her to ask what her dd wants. then after i asked her i fucking remembered that it was my friends birthday yesterday. i completely forgot, no present, no card, nothing. then i text her about her daughters birthday!! i have texted to say omg im so sorry i just completely forgot. shes seen my message but hasnt replied. im sitting here shaking with worry that she hates me and ive just ruined our friendship.

its also relevant that last year for my birthday she got me a pretty expensive gift, more than you would usually spend on a friend so i was hoping to get something of the same kind of value for her this year. im just so stressed with work and the dcs and everything else that her birthday just slipped my mind. im a horrible friend

she hates me right?

Of course she doesn't. Let yourself off the hook, as you would with anyone you love. Love yourself and show yourself kindness x

Nobody here knows if she hates you but I think it's unlikely. Just send her another text apologising again and say you'll get a present to her as soon as possible, especially as the gift she got you was so lovely. I'm sure she'll understand.

Try to take some deep breaths, calm down and look at this proportionately. A good friend doesn't 'hate you' because you forget her birthday once. Unless you have form for repeatedly being thoughtless towards her, it's probably fine.

Definitely doesn't hate you! She's more likely just busy and will reply when she can. She'll understand that you've been preoccupied.

No she's probably just a bit moody but will be fine in a day or 2. My other half forgets when mine is every year and books the day off for my birthday the day after my birthday. Eleven years on I'm still with the idiot.

First of all deep breath , try not to stress yourself out with this.

Its the beginning of the new school year so shes bound to be racing around etc.

Write her a card and drop it round to prompt contact keep it light and upbeat.

Let her comeback towards you, you've appologised to her.

A true friend is someone who comes in when the whole world goes out.

I can't speak for her but I certainly wouldn't hate you. Maybe go ahead with the lovely present you'd planned and tell her how upset with yourself you are for forgetting when you'd planned to do something nice all along. Even if she is temporarily upset I'm sure she'll appreciate the effort to make it up to her.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure she doesn't hate you. We've all been there & forgotten something when stressed (that's how I know I'm sinking, as normally I'm very organised). Drop something round tomorrow if you can & put a reminder that pings 3 days beforehand in your phones calendar for birthdays of anyone close.

Why would she hate you - hate is a very strong word!

No she definitely doesn't. A good friend will understand. She has read the message mentally replied and forgot to actually reply. I doubt she is annoyed by that if she is she is very immature and in the event of a fall out the loss would be hers not yours (but there wont be) U are being kind and thinking of her dd and have apologised. Nothing to stress about. Have a cup of tea and relax. Be kind to u. U sound a lovely friend.

Just send her another text apologising.

No don’t send “another” text apologising.
One you’ve nothing to apologise for.
Gifts are not obligatory.

You’ve apologised once. !!!

My friend forgot my birthday this year-I was a bit upset tbh but I got over it. At least you've realised the next day- my friend still hasn't realised as she's not mentioned it. I don't hate her just felt a little disappointed but I know she's always stressed. If she's a good friend she'll understand. Prob just busy herself. Don't add to your anxiety.

Look into ASD. Many women with it are misdiagnosed with BPD and anxiety instead of ASD, self included.

Your friend shouldn't hate you for that.

I get the anxiety thing but I think, if you can do it, you should call her.

She probably rolled her eyes a bit but honestly, you've explained and apologised, so she should be fine - but a call will still help, if you can manage it.

it is what it is,calm the fuck down.its easier

I’d actually be quite amused if a friend did that. Then again, I’m forever forgetting stuff and remembering last minute or just after. She may feel a little put out but I doubt she hates you! Give yourself a break

Im not on social media so i always miss people's birthdays. Its no big deal, you apologised. She shouldnt have spend so much on yoy for your birthday anyway.

Just go and get her a present and deliver both at the same time.
I doubt very much that she hates you.

Just send her another text apologising again

Don't do that. Unless she's a 12 year old kid she doesn't hate you. She ought to be pleased you've remembered he daughter's and how kind of you to ask what she wants. I wouldn't care in the slightest and to be honest if she does shes a bit immature and silly.

She won’t hate you. She may be sad or upset. My best friend didn’t get me a present one year and it hurt. It’s not the present but the thought.
Do something thoughtful. Get her something lovely. Bake her a cake? Invite her for afternoon tea? Just show her she’s valued.

It might help you if you try to keep the focus on her feelings not yours.

I don't use Facebook so I imagine it's because people aren't being reminded, but of my closest/longest standing friends 4 out of 8 haven't acknowledged my birthday, 4 weeks ago! Iv spent time with them since and said nothing as it really isn't a big deal, if your friend hates you over it she needs a bit of a wobble