To think they should let him move class

[Sotheycantreadmyotherstuff]

NC

I have identical twins in a large secondary 260+ per year. From the start I have asked for them to be in separate classes (even at nursery) as they need to find their identity.

This year two days before start of school they log on and find they are in the same class and with a lot of friends incl twin 2 best friend. I know this will not work as they will be together 24/7 and it's not healthy and would cause arguments.
I email school and ask for twin 1 to be moved as they already know who is in the class with them and twin2 is much more anxious and would struggle with the change. I ask for Twin 1 to be moved into a class with some of his friends as he would rather stay with his brother and friends than move to a class where he doesn't know anyone. (thanks if you are still reading)
Twin 1 has been moved to a class where he knows no one, has the worst teachers and badly behaved kids, he is now really upset with me for getting him moved and wishes I'd just left him with his twin and friends.
Now if the school had just put him in this class I would tell him to suck it up and make the best of it BUT he is so upset and is saying it's all my fault as I moved him. AIBU to ask the school to move twin1 to a class with at least one friend in it considering none of this would have happened if they had split the twins in the first place.

@26BoneyBackJefferson I wanted them to do what was agreed when they joined the school and keep them apart. Last year there was a lot of movement between classes so I guess I thought the same would happen. I accept I'm bu and won't ask the school to move him again.

@01Silenttype thank you, that's exactly how I feel and I hope my twins stay close to each other but with their own friends.

Not your school. Not your choice.

I think you have to sort this out for the sake of your unhappy DS.
You caused this, you have to fix it.
So I would approach the school but from the angle of ‘I’m sorry, I was wrong’ and ask for their help to fix it. Then grovel and be grateful.

Did the twins even want to be seperated? I think you should just apologize and ask for twin 1 to be moved back. Being alone in a class with the naughty kids is gonna be horrible.

You must be able to see why the school doesn't let parents choose exactly which class their children are in?

Can you imagine if every parent asked for repeated class lives for their child. I know in your mind your reasoning was good, but from what you say your boys have spent most of their school career apart so one year together may not have done any harm. They’re at an age now (presumably 12/13?) where they can remind teachers which one is which and as their parent you can feed back to the school if you feel they’re both being treated unfairly.

As it is your son is pissed off with you - you may feel you know that this move will be good for them, but they’ve had no choice in it and will just see you as meddling - because that’s what you did. I think it would have been better to leave them and see how it played out in practice, it’s one year in early secondary - lots of time to make up for things if it doesn’t go well.

Given you’ve interfered already you could have another go, but I’d be inclined to take my sons wrath on the chin and learn my own lesson from it while supporting him to cope in his new classes.

If they need to be apart so much why are they in the same school?

If you ask for a child to be mobed they never move their friends too. They can't as the numbers have been set and everyone's informed. I would have left it and talked to the children. If its that bad you could call the school to explain that you have made a mistake, and ask is it possible to revert to the original plan so that they both have friends?

If its that bad you could call the school to explain that you have made a mistake, and ask is it possible to revert to the original plan so that they both have friends? Except it was the school that made the initial error.. having agreed not to put the twins in the same class.

OP could you have a chat with HoY, rtaher than emails? It might help you both understand each other better and get the best resolution - and a more permananrt understanding going forward!