More of an Am I

[peakygal]

Over thinking? Just found out today that DMs brother sexually assaulted a child possibly children...I don't know him. We have no relationship whatsoever neither does DM. Don't know any details but Im literally in such disbelief that there is someone like that in my family.

Am I over thinking/reacting considering I don't even know the man? Im disturbed to know all of this

You're not overreacting. I would be absolutely horrified to find out someone related/known to me was a paedophile.

I remember how shocked I was when, aged 10/11, my mum told me that my grandfather and his cronies were paedophiles. It's an awful feeling isn't it.

It's awful isn't it. One of my cousins accused my uncle of abuse. He's the only one to ever have come forward. Both are now dead. It was one word against the other.

Nope not overthinking it. Dh has a great uncle that used to sexually abuse his sisters. Dh’s immediate family insisted they were liars and it never happened. His wife stood by him. It is almost hard to believe when I see him, he seems so normal. That’s the scary thing.

DM has never had a relationship with him as he is a lot older and she says she will never have one now. She says she feels disgust but I have so many emotions going on in my head. Shock, disgust, upset..I cannot believe I share blood with someone like that..Its not a good feeling. As naive as it sounds to me this type of thing is what I read about or see on the news not in our family

Unfortunately it's more common than we like to think. There is a history of it within my family as well and I can understand how you feel about it and it's all totally valid.

For me though, I think bc I was brought up away from certain family members including a dv dad, I was always reminded by my mum that we can't help who we share blood with and it doesn't make us who we are, that comes from inside ourselves. So I've never felt at fault for having such an awful family history and nor should you, OP. Yoi can't pick your family tree, sadly.

Well it’s disturbing news, no wonder it’s got to you

It's a horrible thing to find out, but you just have to be thankful that you and your DM have no relationship with him, I think. It's immaterial that he's related to you, really - he's a stranger. That's the way you have to try and look at it, although I know it's not easy.

@peakygal if it was me, I'd be in total shock.

On the up side, at least your mum is cutting him out of her life. It scares me when people don’t believe these charges/findings and say their 40 year old Johnny wouldn’t do it.