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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a DNA test?

27 replies

FlamedToACrisp · 09/09/2019 17:51

Is it worth doing a DNA test for family history purposes? Is it accurate enough to be worth bothering?

I already know who my family are, but would like to meet other relatives/confirm relationships.

OP posts:
Hederex · 09/09/2019 19:19

My mother did this a few months ago and found out chances are her dad wasn't her dad. It's been very hard for her! I still fancy a try though!

gabsdot45 · 09/09/2019 19:34

My parents are keen Genealogists and they have found loads more family connections through their DNA tests and they've expanded their family tree a lot. They've even met some distant cousins.

Angel2702 · 09/09/2019 19:55

Yes really adds to the paper trail rather than replacing it. Best way to do it is via ancestry as you can then upload your results for free to other sites to make use of their database too. You cannot upload to ancestry from other sites so best to start with them.

spidersonmyceiling · 09/09/2019 20:08

Yes I'd do it, and if still possible your parents too, so you know which comes from which side. We o my knew Ireland for my mother's family, but it narrowed it down to county level which was great and I'm hoping that some of the relatives will have more info that will help us. Having mum and dad too helped place a forebear who just appeared out of nowhere, as we knew where everyone else came from. If no parents you'll find siblings are different and they may have inherited dna you didn't.

Pitterpatterpettysteps · 09/09/2019 20:28

Those who have done it, which company did you use?

Watsername · 09/09/2019 20:53

I have heard they aren't very reliable, and different brands of test give different results.

ThePhoenixRises · 09/09/2019 20:56

For me, it would open a whole can of worms I'm not interested in.

SandyY2K · 09/09/2019 20:58

I'm happy with the parents and siblings I have. I wouldn't be interested in any others out there tbh.

YeOldeTrout · 09/09/2019 21:09

I think they are pretty good for finding cousins.
Calculating ethnicity not so much.
Beware, though... you may find out things you didn't expect.

I found an uncle nobody knew existed. It's driving me crazy I can't get his family to respond to messages.

A distant cousin I've corresponded with for yrs, shared gedcom files, is also on ancestry.com... turns out not we're not related.

I can't find any distant cousins with my surname... I look exactly like my dad who is spitting image of his dad who is spitting image of his dad. Our surname goes back to 1641 with huge families, yet I find no cousins beyond great-grand-dad's gen. Am I really in this family tree or not?

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 09/09/2019 21:14

DH and I did the DNA testing. For me, it confirmed what I had heard by way of family lore about my ancestors and where they came from. I have found and corresponded with many people with whom I share, for example, great grandparents. I think it was quite accurate on ethnicity because knowing where the ancestors lived, I have been able to trace much further back.

DH found a long lost first cousin. That was exciting and he was able to meet up and reconnect.

FlamedToACrisp · 09/09/2019 23:20

@Hederex My mother did this a few months ago and found out chances are her dad wasn't her dad Shock that must be horrendous!

OP posts:
steff13 · 09/09/2019 23:23

I used ancestry. I got DNA matched with people I know who are related to me, and at the level that we're related (2nd cousin, etc.) so I think it's pretty accurate.

MadameJosephine · 14/09/2019 23:17

I wouldn’t do it, there’s more to family than DNA. My dad is adopted and when he went looking for his birth family discovered all sorts of horrible things about his father that we’d all have been better off not knowing.

YobaOljazUwaque · 14/09/2019 23:38

It must be interesting but I have read that the smallprint that no one bothers to read says that the DNA testing company will own the copyrights on your genome map. So can anyone debunk that because I am not interested in consigning the copyright of that to any corporation.

Aquestionforyouall · 14/09/2019 23:42

I’m so interested in this.

I have a really unusual but not exotic surname and when I’ve googled it in the past people have come up and it’s so odd to think we must be related.

Haworthia · 14/09/2019 23:45

I knew someone who did this and found loads of half siblings. Turns out he was donor conceived and his parents never spoke of it. They found the donor too!

SofiaAmes · 14/09/2019 23:48

My friend found out he had a half sister. She's very nice.

We just found lots of interesting things about where we came from....and a few long lost far away relatives. No scandals.

HerFemaleness · 14/09/2019 23:56

How does it work matching you with relatives? Say there was a bloke whose first marriage failed because he had multiple affairs. And say the brother of this man had told one of his nieces that at least one of these affairs had resulted in a child. If that child or a child of that child had had the DNA test would they show up as a relative of the niece? Asking for a friend ....

Idontwanttotalk · 15/09/2019 00:04

I was recently contacted by someone whose maternal grandmother is my maternal grandmother's sister following her DNA test.

The results threw out lots of connections. She knew her dad was unofficially adopted by the lady she calls 'nan' but she has now managed to prove definitively who his biological mother is.

I was surprised my Great Aunt had given birth to this child then given him away but feel it is important that people know the truth.

TheCanyon · 15/09/2019 00:13

We know my dads dad isnt his dad, none of us have a desire to find out who biological dad is. I have a neurogical problem thats 50/50 hereditary. My parents dont remember their great aunt's/uncles/grandparents shaking. Fills me with utter fear knowing I may give my kids this

NewtonPulsifer · 15/09/2019 00:18

DH is adopted, and we have been able to find a lot out about his biological families. He is too scared to contact the 4 first cousin matches that have come up in case his adopted mum gets upset (she is old and very poorly, but someone would tell her). I’m disappointed though that none of the matches have contacted him. You’d think if you matched a first cousin you have never heard of, you might be a bit curious? Can’t all be in the same situation as my DH.

eladen · 15/09/2019 00:34

You’d think if you matched a first cousin you have never heard of, you might be a bit curious?

I think more people would be of the view that they don't want a bomb going off in their life.

StCharlotte · 15/09/2019 00:41

My friend's husband did this and was happy to have his details shared. Soon afterwards he was contacted by a son he knew nothing about (result of a holiday fling - long before he and his my friend got together at least but still...).

Breathlessness · 15/09/2019 00:47

’I was surprised my Great Aunt had given birth to this child then given him away but feel it is important that people know the truth.’

But is it your truth to know?

Gingerkittykat · 15/09/2019 16:59

I want to take a test. My mum was adopted, she is now dead and I know it affected her greatly not knowing, since she was brought up in an age of secrecy. The one person who could answer questions clams up and refuses to do so. There's also a curiosity on my part to see what the racial profile throws up, we have speculated on what my mum's racial composition was.

I also know I have a half brother on my paternal side who is a bit older than me. It's mostly curiosity on my part, I wonder who he is and where he is. I don't necessarily want to have a relationship with him.

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