To moan about presents

[LLOE7]

I appreciate this is a complete first world problem, but it's driving me mad! I have a ds aged 4, and a dd about to turn 1. My sisters every year for Christmas and birthdays have been buying more and more and I just don't have anywhere to put it all, I usually spend a day or two in tears after the occasion trying to de clutter and fit everything in. It is so over the top. I keep asking my sisters, one in particular is worse than the other, to not buy so much and to limit themselves to 3-4 presents because I don't have the space but they just laugh me off. I just don't know how to deal with it and how to get them to understand that I literally have NO SPACE?! Photo of the presents my ds got for his 4th birthday, 90% were from my two sisters. I love them both and we all have a wonderful relationship, but they just can't understand the issue and I don't want to come across as rude, or ungrateful. WWYD?

Donate the surplus toys. Keep aside 2/3 things from each sister that you know DS will love and play with and donate the rest to children who would love to be spoilt like this.

If your sisters ask where X toy is, then be honest.

Tbh I find the photo of them all laid out like that kind of weird.

I had the same issue with MIL - it became horrendous and not just where to put it all but I didn't want kids growing up expecting a pile of presents to be the norm.
I kept saying "one present only or put some money in their bank account". It kept getting ignored. So in the end I said "any presents you buy over one are kept at your house". DS goes to nursery full time so doesn't go round to MIL house very often - the present buying quickly stopped!

So in the end I said "any presents you buy over one are kept at your house"

Exactly what I was going to suggest. It really works.

Tell them way in advance that your DS is really, really keen to go to X attraction (e.g. Legoland)/ start X activity, and that you're signing your DD up for X group (e.g. MonkeyMusic).

So that this year you're asking everybody who wants to buy them presents to contribute towards those instead, as otherwise you wouldn't be able to afford it for them...such a shame for them to miss out etc. etc.

We had similar issues - and yes, I know my two are lucky etc etc but - we solved it by asking for experiences....my MiL for instance has paid for annual passes for our local theme park for the last couple of years. We've made sure she gets lots of pictures of us there because honestly they have been a fantastic purchase. They still give something but you get used to it. This is going to sound really grabby but the only way we could tackle it was to actually ask what the budget was - have you tried suggesting something 'big' like a bike?

Your local school would bite your hand off for such bounty

On of my sisters is like this, OP.

Just donate the surplus to a charity shop.

Does your area have a toy library or scheme run in tandem with local food bank?

Any excess would be massively appreciated by kids less fortunate.

My sister had this at first. She just said the toys etc would be kept at so-&-so's house for when the kids go there, and started leaving them instead of taking them home.

Why on earth would someone find it spiritual to put a biscuit on here?

Keep a few, sell the rest and put the money in an account for your kids. A few pounds here and there will add up over the years.

Or ask for a financial contribution to a "big" present.

Aww children love novelty and newness. Before birthdays I clear out stuff that's not favourites and put in boxes in the garage. It looks like we have been robbed but then it refills with new stuff.

If you don't want to keep the old stuff for the younger one, then sell it on marketplace / boot fair / eBay but postage usually means you can't why much. Or yes donate it to your local preschool or playgroup. Or charity shops.

DS' preschool love me bringing in toys and never say no when I ask if they want things.

Plus you can rotate toys and then they find them new again.

My DS' grandmother says he gets too much for his birthday, so gets him nothing every year. For Xmas he got a Xmas tree decoration. She is not poor at all, but lives an expensive lifestyle. She often does the same to the other grandchildren ( 3 others, but all are teenagers now.)

The biscuit giver I think assumes it's ultimately it's a nice problem to have too much, when many parents can't afford much or don't get presents from relatives.

I've had this with various family members. They soon got the idea when I'd fill a bin bag with unwanted gifts and drop it off to charity shops by new year.

I usually spend a day or two in tears after the occasion trying to de clutter and fit everything in.

Bit of an over reaction! 🤔

It's not hard to know what to do here........... - Take them to a charity shop or do one of those mum2market things - you'd make some money which you can put in an account for DC

My sister was like this. I asked her to buy the storage as well as the gifts - that slowed it down. I also would stop giving them presents to open if they wanted to play with the gift. This had the added bonus of eking out the presents over days 😊

Some stuff I’d either regift or give to charity.

It’s draining isn’t it? Piles of junk the kids aren’t even interested in.

Tell them that you are trying to be more environmentally conscious and don’t want all that plastic, can they, as a pp suggested, pay for a day out/experience with the children instead.

My aunt and DM both did this until I said "ONE BIG PRESENT EACH PLEASE!!!!!" They were always sniping that they had too many toys as well.

Donate them so many kids dont get all that.

I don't agree that it's fair to donate something that is not yours, I would just sell them and keep the money for my kids.

Give it Away!

Local preschools, toddler groups, children’s wards at your local hospital. Give it away and tell them that you’re doing it!

Teach your child the art of giving for the greater good!

I’m so shocked by the materialism of your sisters, it’s pretty gross.

I don't agree that it's fair to donate something that is not yours

He's 4, just four.

We used to have this with PIL and SIL. Not that bad but at least 5 presents each. His 2nd Christmas we asked for one each. They went for 3 each. So the next year we asked for one each again but explained in more detail how overwhelmed he was by so many to open and that if they went for one only they would get more enjoyment out of seeing him interacting and excited by it rather than being cajoled into opening more when he just wanted to run away.

Making them see how it benefitted them to reduce it worked!

I actually think it’s really tough when people do not listen to you. Give it to charity/local school. We all need to buy less for the sake of our kids.