To feel like I'm a bad mum because I just can't be arsed?

[GabbyChalice400]

I love my baby, but my god sometimes I just can't be arsed and want a break. It's the constant fussiness and whinging for apparently no reason.

He's been fed, changed, winded. My head is banging and I just want some peace

I feel like a shit mum for sticking him in his bouncer and putting him in front of the telly. I just don't have the energy to interact with him though!

He deserves better.

He's stopped napping during the day as well. Before he used to nap once or twice a day and I'd get peace then, but it's a rarity these days.

OP I could have written your post this morning (and many other mornings!).

Mine is 5m old now and is very emotional and clingy at the moment. My husband has an app that shows all the development stages and 'Leaps' babies go through which can affect babies' temperament, mood, sleep, appetite etc pretty drastically. Will try to find out what the app is called and let you know because knowing there is a perfectly natural reason like a leap or growth spurt making your baby more difficult than usual really can make it more bearable x

Shave a wee look at "Wonder weeks". It explains about developmental leaps and 4 months is a tricky time.
You are not a bad mum at all.

That's it! Wonder Weeks

You were someone before you were their mom and that person matters too.

You are allowed to feel tried. frustrated and just plain fed up! This parenting game is bloody hard and if anyone tells you otherwise they are lying . Also at 4 months there is usually a regression so baby will more than likely be going through a developmental leap.

I completely get you, it’s hard work and sometimes all you crave is peace and silence. I don’t enjoy the baby stage at all, everyone goes on saying you will miss this stage when they are older. I haven’t at all, I love my eldest age and I really enjoy my three year olds company.

4m old needs 3 or 4 daytime naps still. Try lots of snuggles. Cuddles release oxytocin which has a calming effect, for both mum and baby. Can also help relax and drift off to sleep. I found a sling vital at that stage for good quality naps on me while I vegged out with tv or book.

@Haworthia - I think @NoddyAndBessie is employing an age old method called sarcasm.

This is why I am not having children because I love and need silence, lots of time by myself and time. You are completely normal to feel that way.

I love being a parent and being around my children brings me nothing but joy. This is actually true. However I've only started enjoying it as much as I do since they turned around ten years old...
The baby years I survived, after that I found it tolerable. Enjoyment of them has been recent
They both seem to like me and are happy.

@Haworthia, yes I am.

How many threads are full of those with children slamming those without and stating what I did in my previous post.

Clearly the OP is having an awful time and my point was not aimed at her, but rather the twee bastards who don't accept that it's bloody hard and those of us who don't want kids can't possibly understand. Whereas, It's because we understand that we don't want them.

Your not a bad mum I think anyone who can look after a small human 24 hours a day 7 days a week is a superhero in my eyes!
My little boy is 8 months old and I still remember that 4 month sleep regression stage, it's actually a blur now I must have been that tired!
If you want 15 mins of quiet and to have a brew with 2 hands then you do that, never feel bad about wanting some time for yourself I think mums/parents get scrutinised enough and we do a bloody tough job!
Ohh and also a little program on Netflix called little baby bum was my lifesaver in those early months...(still is most days) 😂

Haven't had my baby yet. I'm pregnant and I'm bored of being pregnant lol

I could have written this OP. The 4 month sleep regression was brutal and worst than newborn stage. I thought I was past the worst of it, but DC is now teething and refuses to nap, it seems never ending.
I’m close to tears trying to get him to sleep so I can have 5 minutes peace.
Love him to bits, but it is so hard.

I feel like this every day. Baby stage a breeze but my god the toddler stage is testing me. Constantly needs something to keep them occupied. Won't leave me alone if I'm in the same room. Fed up of being climbed all over. The repetitive demands. No sense of waiting or patience. I've figured life is easier when we go out. That's how I get a "break" baby groups, soft play, parks ext

A 4 month old baby definitely need to nap during the day. No wonder he is grumpy, he might well be over tired. Tiny babies often fall asleep anywhere but as they get older might need a bit of help e.g. rocking, walking in pushchair, bouncing in chair.

I would go for a long walk with him in the pushchair. The fresh air and exercise might make you feel a bit better and also give him a bit of time to get off to sleep. If he doesnt fall asleep at least he will be stimulated and have something to look at while you're walking.

@GabbyChalice400, my youngest started teething around 4 months. Could be that. Sometimes they just scream for nothing. Putting baby somewhere safe and taking a break makes you a great mum. I did it, while not knowing I had PND and feeling like I wanted to scream back at baby, I put him in his cot and walked away for a cup of tea and a cigarette. Best thing I did for baby. Motherhood is hard, don’t punish yourself.

I think pp are right saying he may be overtired. I found at that age I had to actively get DD to nap, either by rocking, car seat, baby carrier etc as she stopped just dropping off to sleep. Better sleep in the day is supposed to help with sleep at night (though 4 months is a bloody horrible regression).

Thanks everyone, he won't nap in his bouncer. But i put him down in his cot in my room earlier and he slept for about 2 hours. I also managed to have a nap too, it was bliss!

I feel exactly the same about my 1 year old. I love him to bits but my god I need a break sometimes

Sorry to hear this - can't you find a middle-aged woman of teenage boys who would love to hold your baby while you relax? . me! me!

It's hard and often it sucks more than you knew, but you've got this! You' re not a bad mother.

No, you need space and to look after yourself. If you don't care for yourself then how are you going to care for your baby properly? You're doing nothing wrong. The fact that you're worrying about this shows that you do care and are probably a great mum.

I had what felt like the worlds worst baby
Never slept,shat for England and wanted me in sight 24/7 or he’d howl
I used to shove him in his bouncer and put him in front of the washer-he loved the spin cycle
It meant I could pee or have a cuppa-or ten mins to stare at the wall
He’s almost 20 now and is a sane,well adjusted adult so didn’t harm him at all