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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be horrified by DH's attitude?

33 replies

Lily2811 · 08/09/2019 21:48

Out and about today, two gay guys passed us with three little dogs and called "come on girls!“ a man walking behind them made a homophobic comment. I was horrified and told DH how horrible and unnecessary I thought it was. DH said "to be fair, they were acting really camp"... What?! as if that made it okay?!

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 08/09/2019 21:50

YANBU at all.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 08/09/2019 21:53

YANBU.

dollydaydream114 · 08/09/2019 22:01

YANBU and your DH is a fucking prick.

Elieza · 08/09/2019 22:05

The man (and you’re DH to a degree also) are bang out of order. Poor dog owner to have to listen to that nasty man. Horrible. And for your DH to agree that if someone’s camp they are basically asking for a nasty comment.....wtf

SunshineAngel · 08/09/2019 22:08

This is a horrible attitude to have. Do you have children? Be careful he doesn't share his "views" in front of them.

DoctorAllcome · 08/09/2019 22:22

How do you know the comment was “homophobic”?

romany4 · 08/09/2019 22:22

Yanbu.

This attitude makes me so angry

Original poster
Lily2811 · 08/09/2019 22:26

@DoctorAllcome because he mocked them by calling them a homophobic slur and by prancing around mocking them. I can't believe people still hold these kinds of views and insult people in this way in this day and age its disgraceful.

OP posts:
PookieDo · 08/09/2019 22:27

YANBU. It is horrible

DoctorAllcome · 08/09/2019 22:38

TY Lily for expanding on what happened. I agree YANBU.

Andpopwenttheweasle · 08/09/2019 22:46

Yanbu at all!

Idontwanttotalk · 08/09/2019 22:48

How do you know the guys were gay?

GabsAlot · 08/09/2019 22:50

Wow yeah completely uncalled for and your dh too did u know he held these views

user1493759849 · 08/09/2019 22:52

@Lily2811

Ewww, I would have been SO fucked off if my DH had said anything like that.

Surely you knew what a horrid homophobe he was when you married him?! Hmm

GlasshouseStoneThrower · 08/09/2019 23:12

Yanbu, that would absolutely horrify me.

Original poster
Lily2811 · 08/09/2019 23:59

@Idontwanttotalk why is this relevant? I think you're just trying to make an issue where there isn't one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lily2811 · 09/09/2019 00:00

@user1493759849 no, first time he has ever said anything like this.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/09/2019 00:01

You've seen your husband's true colours. Now you have to decide what you're going to do about it. Hopefully, you haven't had children with him yet.

PhilCornwall1 · 09/09/2019 05:42

You could always have said to your husband, "do you know, you are a complete twat.", when he came back at you, you could have said "well, to be fair, you were asking for it!".

Both of them were well out of order.

CrystalShark · 09/09/2019 05:47

YANBU of course. And doesn’t matter whether the dog walkers were gay or not, it’s that someone used homophobic slurs and OP’s DH justified it. Disgusting. Couldn’t be with someone after seeing them act like that.

WhatsMyPassword · 09/09/2019 05:54

Could you describe the 'prancing' ?

Monty27 · 09/09/2019 05:57

DH sounds awful
Sorry OP

Teacher22 · 09/09/2019 06:32

Hmmm. Lot of virtue signalling here. I don’t condone homophobia or any other form of stereotyping insults but would this amount of hot air be released were the exaggerated behaviour in public be of another form? I think not.

Why go so far as to post about it on MumsNet? I saw a woman with ridiculously dyed hair showing off in the street. She was inviting comment by her unEnglish ‘look at me’ behaviour and it wasn’t anything ‘ist’ or phobic to notice her.

SoyDora · 09/09/2019 06:37

I saw a woman with ridiculously dyed hair showing off in the street. She was inviting comment by her unEnglish ‘look at me’ behaviour and it wasn’t anything ‘ist’ or phobic to notice her

So many questions here.
What is ‘ridiculously dyed hair’?
What does ‘showing off in the street’ look like?
What on earth does ‘unEnglish’ behaviour look like? What nationality did her behaviour resemble?

YellWat · 09/09/2019 06:48

OP, time for a frank and serious chat with DH I think. Disrespecting people like this is not a good sign and I would want to understand why he believes it is acceptable.

@Teacher22
So it's ridiculous of OP to post about her DH being homophobic, but totally normal and acceptable to let off about a woman being 'unEnglish' (whatever THAT means in this era of division) and having 'ridiculously dyed hair'????

I usually find those who use the term 'virtue signalling' lack virtue themselves.

I do hope you're not a real teacher. Hmm