Partner of 12 years finished with me at the start of the year. We still live together for complicated reasons but it is the only viable option atm and things were amicable enough that I thought it would be ok. We have 3 DC, the youngest is 6 and autistic.
It now transpires that far from what he told me originally ("I need to sort my head out, it's not about anyone else, I want to keep the kids family together, you're still my best friend" etc etc) he was chasing after someone from his past as soon as we split, and when that didn't work out started internet dating and is now seeing someone else. This only came to light last week - until then I'd actually thought things were improving and a reconciliation might be possible.
My head is in tatters, I feel completely lost and distraught most of the time, I've hardly been able to eat or sleep since I found this all out and have no idea how I will ever get over this. I don't know how I can start again, my life feels like it's over and I'm only 37 FFS. When he goes out to spend time with whoever he is shagging I actually feel sick, at the thought of him with someone else and then having him in the house with me afterwards. I can't cope with my own thoughts and I can hardly stop crying.
I'd leave, but I genuinely cannot afford to stay in this area and with a child who needs significant extra support in school and at home it's not possible for me to go further away. I assume sooner or later he will decide to leave but then I don't know how I can afford to stay here on my own without his income. It just all feels so hopeless ATM.