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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think elderly couple should not have parked in parent and child space?

260 replies

Pelly8 · 08/09/2019 16:40

Local supermarket has loads of disabled bays (which are 90% empty whenever i’ve been) but only 5 parent and child bays. Elderly couple (probs in 70s) parked their car in a parent and child bay just as I was packing away my shopping.

I almost pointed out that there was plenty of other places for them to park (including plenty of other non disabled bays close to the entrance) but bit my tongue.

AIBU to think they should have parked elsewhere?

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 09/09/2019 10:18

@jenniR29, would you be happy with p&c spaces in the furthermost corner of the car park?

woodchuck99 · 09/09/2019 10:21

As someone who has been on both sides of the coin I think you are being very unreasonable. Toddler and parent spaces were pretty rare when my children were small and I don't remember it being a problem. Certainly nowhere near as bad as being disabled but not enough to get a blue badge which is probably the position the elderly couple are in. They might be able to walk 50 m (which means no blue badge) but unable to walk that much further which means that unless they park near the shop they won't be able to get any shopping.

woodchuck99 · 09/09/2019 10:26

I think there should be an elderly parking section. That would have helped her in the end she avoided going to the local shopping centre because of the lack of close parking.

It's not just the elderly though. There are loads of people who can't get a blue badge but also can't walk that far. Not sure what the solution is though. Perhaps you should be able to get a badge that entitles you to park a bit nearer even if it isn't a disabled parking space.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/09/2019 10:30

Toddler and parent spaces were pretty rare when my children were small and I don't remember it being a problem.

Probably because it really wasn't a problem. People just did it and went about their day.

This was specifically a post about P&C spaces so I explained why I use them and how it makes my life easier and my children safer.

Well, the post is about an elderly couple who used a p & c space, presumably that was safer for them too. Is that not ok @jenniR29?

fromdownwest · 09/09/2019 10:36

Wow - I Grew up in the 80's and I remember walking to the shops and walking home with 2 or 2 bags each.

The fact that you have to walk an extra 50m and you are annoyed at the elderly couple.

I am sure they would gladly swap their parking space for your youthful legs.

When did we get to the stage where the elderly are such low members of society. I used to love visiting my grandparents in the care home, listening to all the stories, hearing from a generation that cared and actually went through real hardships.

Embrace the fact that you can walk, and don't get upset that you may have to put yourself out by having to walk those extra metres.

Honeyroar · 09/09/2019 10:37

I think the elderly struggle much more than a parent with a child, and deserve the spaces near the front much more. My mother and her friends (around 80) have struggled a lot over the last couple of years with various serious issues (cancer, heart problems), yet don't have blue badges.

I think that having dedicated parent spaces, which are wider, is great, but they don't need to be right at the door.

Sirzy · 09/09/2019 10:37

Ds is 9. He is a blue badge holder and a wheelchair user (part time)

If I can’t park in a disabled bay, or p and c space it’s a struggle but I manage. Even having to leave his wheelchair at the back of the car. It’s not easy but it’s doable. Will get even harder soon when it’s lookinb like his pump will be needed during the day too.

In comparison getting him into the car when he was a baby was a piece of piss!

Ravenblack · 09/09/2019 10:41

@Pelly8

YABU.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/09/2019 10:41

Wow - I Grew up in the 80's and I remember walking to the shops and walking home with 2 or 2 bags each.

@fromdownwest You poor thing, thank god you survived. There would be a call to Childline these days if you tried to put your children through an ordeal like this.

fromdownwest · 09/09/2019 10:42

Having a child or baby does not make you special, the amount of people that seem to think they are the most hard done by as they have to bring up a child is staggering.

My grandmother brought up 8 children, in a 3 bedroom house, no washing machine, no car, no tumble drier and no home deliveries.

Those complaining about not having dedicated parking bays, in all honesty, need to get over themselves!

A88ie1 · 09/09/2019 10:42

If anyone ever gives me hassles for this they are coming to watch my elderly dad get into the car.

Council wont give old people badges so this is why, also why shouldn't they be child and older people spaces seeing as both cant get out the car without damaging others cars in the process.

fromdownwest · 09/09/2019 10:43

@WilburIsSomePig - And sometimes, We did it in the rain, with nothing more than a mac to protect me from the cruel harsh world.

I made it, braved it, and got through. Somehow...

CaptainObviousTwo · 09/09/2019 10:45

Children are a choice, getting old is not. They should ALWAYS have priority

I came on to say this. Well said @Pukkatea

sunshinesupermum · 09/09/2019 10:47

As an elderly person myself atm I don't need to use Mother and Baby bays but I'm sure there'll come a time in the future when I will. Blue badges are incredibly difficult to come by.

PoohBearsHole · 09/09/2019 10:52

The blue badge is as easy as getting a unicorn to fart a rainbow. Can’t get pissed off about it, would you be pissed off with me parking in p and c with my 9 year old?(perfectly acceptable in our local supermarkets). Able bodied 9year old?

Still wouldn’t get you a space with your toddler octopus!

bodgeitandscarper · 09/09/2019 10:53

I'm another who managed just fine without P&C spaces when my children were small. My mother has a blue badge due to arthritis, but before she got it we had to painfully hobble past all the P&C spaces with youngsters running about, the injustice was sickening.

The fact is, that while parents whinge about elderly people using a space closer to the store because they feel more entitled to it, they will also be old one day. Let's hope that society has moved on from the selfish I'm alright Jack mentality, and they don't have to suffer from the lack of thought and compassion that their forbearers have faced.

DoctorAllcome · 09/09/2019 10:56

P&C spaces are just a suggestion by the grocery store. They are not legally restricted like disabled spaces. So people without children parking there cannot be fined or ticketed like with a disabled spot.
So, it would be wrong to “police” something that is only a suggestion.

CassianAndor · 09/09/2019 10:57

I think all the posts going on about how they or their mothers or grannies managed with x, y or z are just as daft as the OP's, to be honest.

I think P&C spaces are great and am very happy the supermarkets have them. But I don't think they need to be right next to the store. In one supermarket near me they have actually moved the P&C spaces further from the door.

JacquesHammer · 09/09/2019 10:59

I think P&C spaces are great and am very happy the supermarkets have them. But I don't think they need to be right next to the store. In one supermarket near me they have actually moved the P&C spaces further from the door

But then there’s a subset of the community who need closer spaces, can’t get a BB so can’t use the disabled spaces.

I would change P&C to priority, then have another raft of P&C at the end of the car park.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/09/2019 11:03

I sometimes think that supermarkets should have, in addition to mandatory blue badge spaces, some other 'priority' spaces. Signed as 'for the use of parents with small or special needs children, and people with mobility issues and infirmities. May also be used by selfish lazy people - we can't stop you but you know who you are.'

And to answer the OP, yes of course it's ok for old or infirm people who don't meet the strict BB criteria to use p&c spaces if they need to.

CassianAndor · 09/09/2019 11:04

yes, that could work, though priority is a very nebulous thing - I might be a priority because I'm in a tearing dash and 'can't' park miles from the door.

Basically, everyone wants to park close to the store and only some people will bother to park further back to leave those spaces free for those who struggle to walk. After all, how many people leave the priority seats on a train empty?

JacquesHammer · 09/09/2019 11:05

yes, that could work, though priority is a very nebulous thing - I might be a priority because I'm in a tearing dash and 'can't' park miles from the door

I would label them as Errol suggested. It might leave an option for people who need to be closer!

AnnaFiveTowns · 09/09/2019 11:06

When my kids were babies the staff at the local supermarket told me that the disabled and child and parent spaces were interchangeable. I'm not sure if this is the case everywhere...

Spingtrolls · 09/09/2019 11:06

That's a parking campaign I would support -
Give the nearest spaces to the oaps.

@fromdownwest - the rain? I remember doing it in the snow.

I'm surprised we are all alive being exposed to the weather. Having to walk places.

Before we started driving, buses were a great treat lol. Kids, buggy and those bastards weighed a ton, the shopping and steps. Or simply walk home.

Stillfunny · 09/09/2019 11:07

In my local shopping centre, there are Disabled spaces, P&C spaces and an " Age friendly Zone " area, near the entrance with this issue in mind.