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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Massive decision to make

22 replies

HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 13:38

Have a big decision to make and I’m struggling to know the right thing to do. Seeking input and advice from the wonderful mnet community.

Background - I am a Kiwi by birth however moved to Australia as a young child. I am an Australian citizen however I also have a British passport. I have no family left except an Aunt and cousin in Australia. I moved to England in 2005 and met my husband. We’ve been happily married since 2008. We have one child, our son Charlie who is nearly four.

Anyone who has lived in other countries may understand the next part. Despite being pretty happy in your “chosen” country, after a while you might start thinking about what it would be like to move back to your “homeland”. My homeland, despite me being a Kiwi, is Australia. I have no family or friends or any connections in New Zealand.

We took the plunge and moved over to Australia three years ago. Despite really enjoying seeing old friends again (and my lovely aunt and cousin) I feel really unsettled. Australia has a lot to offer but I just miss being in England. I miss the historical buildings, the sense of humour, even the weather! Plus many more things. I felt more ‘me’ back in England, something I find hard to put into words. Things just work for me there. I do love visiting Australia whilst on holiday, but I know in my heart of hearts it’s not “home” for me. We’ve been in Australia for over three years. I am glad we tried it, albeit at a large financial cost.

My English hubby does enjoy it here (cycling and surfing..he’s now even obsessed with rollerblading!). He has said he would like to stay here but he would be open to moving back if I really really wanted to. He has quite a large extended family but they are spread throughout the UK and America and they never had much to do with us. From his immediate family he only has his mother left who is 80. She is in really good health, sharp as a tack and happily lives with her younger step-sister who is mid 60’s.

Sorry this is long, just thought I’d set the scene. I got a job before we landed and have been employed the whole time (medical secretary) however despite being really qualified and experienced, my husband has been in and out of contract jobs. He has kept in contact with his old boss and they have said it would be highly likely he would be re-employed by them if there was a vacancy if we went back. No guarantees of course. He and I were always employed in England (except when I was on mat leave to look after Charlie).

I know I’m rambling, apologies.

A friend suggested I ‘compare’ the two countries. I’ve tried however it seems to just come out fairly level with one country ahead in some areas and the other country ahead in other aspects. They’re both first world countries after all and both have a lot to offer. I feel in my heart I wish to go back but I’m trying to lead with my head. Four things that are on my mind from a FAMILY point of view are:-

  1. the fast easy access to doctors/referrals/results out here in Australia. It's literaly a case of choosing whichever doctor surgery you want and can use an app on your to phone to, (8 times out of 10) book a doctor the next day. If necessary you can be referred very quickly (despite not being an urgent case) and have results 48 hours after that. All bulk billed (free if you have a medicare card).
  2. from an education point of view the schools around where we live look brighter/well maintained and it’s clear there has been quite a bit of money spend on sporting venues, kids clubs, music programs and activities etc.. I can only compare here with the small amount of schools I have seen in England - I know there are vast differences from school to school and there will be many in England that are awesome. We would only be looking for state/government schools. I have heard from a few parent expats they think the standard of education is much higher in the UK however. Separately, it’s hard to put into words, however kids seem stay ‘kids’ longer here in Australia.
  3. Salaries (for our chosen careers) are much higher in Australia. It is quite expensive but like for like (when we’re both working) we have more disposable here. Savings add up much faster.
  4. We all have very pale skin. Charlie and my DH have red hair and very pale freckly skin. I love the heat and sun in Australia and as a child/teen I stupidly burnt a lot. I worry about the extreme UV here for Charlie and Rob. I find the climate in England perfect, even in winter! The parks and greenspaces here in Australia are fabulous and it's lovely to see so many family and friend get-togethers out and about.

How on earth do I make this decision. I personally would love to move back to England. But how do I know it is the right thing to do for us as a family? What if I make the wrong decision and we end up barely scraping by. My husband says he hates the long damp dark cold UK winters and would stay here forever. He prefers Australia to England however he has said the decision is up to me. He's a really positive guy (he's happy as long as we’re all together) and I'm really grateful for his understanding. I must think with my head not my heart and what is best for us as a family or I would be booking flights today.

There’s no real pressure but my older friends, my aunt and cousin have said they would LOVE us to stay. Charlie has really taken to my gorgeous Aunt and cousin and they to him. We all do really love being around my Aunt and cousin. However, I am really conscious of Rob’s mum being 80 and, despite no guilt trips/pressure from her, I know she would dearly love Charlie and Rob to be near. Rob is her only child and Charlie is her only grandchild. She is Charlie's only grandparent. I also think we should be nearby to help out if she needed it (she doesn’t at the moment).

I have had someone say you may go back and never settle/always be wondering. However, I really don’t feel that will happen and financially it’s just not possible. We spent a lot of money moving here and due to DH being in and out of work we won’t be going back with much savings. We are 41 and 38 and don’t have property so really need to settle and put down roots ASAP after making the decision. We want to own a house and very conscious that we’re not Spring chickens.

I am trying to think what is best for us as a family and just can’t make a decision. The decision must be “right”. I really fear making the wrong choice. My heart says go back to England but my head says ‘think hard about this/do what is best for your family, not just what you personally want’. Rob really enjoys it here and I want what is best for him too and for him to be really happy. He, in his own words, loves being separated from the BREXIT madness.

I’m so very grateful to have the opportunity to move between countries. Very sorry for the long-winded post. I know the decision is ours but would love to hear your thoughts / insights about how I go about making the right decision.

OP posts:
yesteaandawineplease · 08/09/2019 13:48

oof that was long Grin

you've named your husband and son. you might want to report your post and ask mnhq to edit the names out.

i can see you feel very conflicted. it's a very difficult decision. I have a friend from primary school who has yoyo'd between the UK and Oz her whole life. she never feels at home in either. I think it's a case of the grass is always greener. it sounds like you have a nice life where you are. book a trip to the UK over winter (even Christmas if not too expensive) and then be glad to get back to the nice weather.

Hannah021 · 08/09/2019 13:49

I think you need to find the true reason for why you left Australia in the first place and moved to England, and why you're now wanting to go back. Because from reading through, sounds like, in few years from now you'll want to be back and forth.

Maybe there is something within you that you, that you're missing and trying to find and thinking by moving to this place or there other you'll find it.

It reminds me of when I was in another country (born there until 13yrs old), then moved to England as my parents are English, there was an urge in me that kept wanting to go back back once I'm done with my studies... but then once I found my inner piece in a career that I absolutely love, I never looked back. My inner self is happy.

You need to review to take a moment to realise, why are you spending time thinking about what's on the other side of the world, rather than living your moment and enjoying it as it is.

HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 13:50

Blush sorry for the long post

OP posts:
CassandraCross · 08/09/2019 14:25

You mentioned the Brexit situation in the UK and I honestly think that until there is a decision on that one way or the other I would not even consider a move from Australia to the UK. The current limbo status means everyone, including businesses, cannot make any long term or even short term plans.

You appear to have a very good life in Australia, as you say you are no spring chickens what is the level of care and the costs associated if you would need it when you are older?

What is the pension provision like for both of you? If your husband is not in full time continuous work what effect does that have?

What exactly do you miss about the UK? What do you feel the UK could provide for you as a family that Australia doesn't?

mrsplum2015 · 08/09/2019 14:27

Impossible to know really. All I would say is if you've got a chance to go now while your Ds is young enough and your Dh doesn't mind I would do it.

I've moved / not moved out of a fear of doing the wrong thing and it has not helped me. I wish I'd been honest with myself and done what was best for me while my dc were still young enough not to mind.

I think health and education are way better in the Uk fwiw and I've experienced both with varying aged children.

Also your dc will be most happy where you are most happy !

araiwa · 08/09/2019 14:32

Said it on the previous similar thread

Youd be off your head to move back to england at the moment

karenbokaren · 08/09/2019 15:39

Personally I wouldn't even consider moving back to the UK much as I love it.

HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 17:11

Sorry @yesteaandawineplease it was much longer than I intended! I do wonder if we'll ever feel settled. We can't afford a trip back unfortunately but it would have been good to do that.

@Hannah021 sage advice. I do need to live in the present more. Very guilty of that.

@CassandraCross lots of things to think about. I can't put my finger on what one country can offer that the other can't to swing it either way. Good food for thought.

@mrsplum2015 I understand what you mean. Our son will be happy if we are. I just wish I could figure out where that will be!

OP posts:
HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 17:14

@araiwa which thread was this? Would be good to read through.

@karenbokaren why is this do you mind me asking?

OP posts:
Mishappening · 08/09/2019 17:16

I feel a TV programme coming on!

HollowTalk · 08/09/2019 17:16

I really wouldn't advise you to move back at the moment. Whatever happens politically the next few years are going to be a nightmare. I'd buy there as soon as possible, just to get on the property ladder. Could your MIL and her step sister come out to stay for a few months?

HollowTalk · 08/09/2019 17:18

I feel a TV programme coming on!

Grin

Perhaps we could have flags for UK and Australia on here so we could vote?

HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 17:20

@Mishappening what do you mean??

Thanks for your advice @HollowTalk. Unfortunately my lovely MIL wont travel this far at 80. Her sister would however doesn't want to leave my MIL. It would be lovely to have them however.

OP posts:
karenbokaren · 08/09/2019 17:24

@HeadsOrHearts

Because I think in the 8 years since I left Britain it's changed. The nhs has suffered, schooling appears to be pretty awful, more violent crime, just a general unpleasantness seems to be more common.

It breaks my heart because 'home' doesn't feel like home anymore. But although I adore where I live now it'll never be home either because my roots aren't here.

A lot of immigrants on Mumsnet and that I know in real life feel the same way. That they'll never have a real 'home' again.

Although someone on my Instagram said something lovely when I was upset about leaving the UK last time that I should look at it that I have two places I can kind of call home.

karenbokaren · 08/09/2019 17:24

My family and friends all agree that I'm better off where I am and most of them would move here in a shot if they could.

Cordial11 · 08/09/2019 17:29

Theres a facebook group ‘ping pong poms’ lots of people in the same situation and may help....

HeadsOrHearts · 08/09/2019 17:31

Thanks @Cordial11 I'll check it out.

OP posts:
Nameisthegame · 08/09/2019 17:41

I lived in Australia until I was 9 when my step father f’d up our visas and we had to go to the uk a country I’d never lived in and I found it a horrible nightmare I lived there for 12 years miserable and depressed I hate my step father for taking me away. I became over weight and depressed the school system let me down and I repeatedly didn’t receive the medical attention I needed.

I would think long and hard about what is best for your son especially if he is old enough to remember my sister was 4 and did far better than me.

Nameisthegame · 08/09/2019 17:43

Also I recently left the uk for my daughter as I want her to have a better childhood than me, I loved my life before I went to the uk but the weather and inadequate facilities were horrible.

Jesse70 · 08/09/2019 17:58

I would move back to the UK
You don't have enough disposable income over there so u can't set down your roots but if he did get his job in the UK I'm assuming you would be able to
Your son is about to start school and there are great schools over here
If your husband says he doesn't mind the believe him I'm the same with my partner I would happily live anywhere as long as we were together
Do a holiday to Oz in the winter time to get out of our cold winters
U are happy there's and here so don't be so hard on yourself in making the decision
There's alot of beautiful places in the UK and there not all expensive to live or even buy a house
Just go where the work is
U could even give yourself an Oz time limit of u don't have a settled job by this time next year move back

Good luck in whatever you decide I'm sure u will make the right choice

SunshineCake · 08/09/2019 17:58

I haven't finished reading all your OP but your MIL being 80 would be the decider for me. She's the oldest and isn't putting pressure on you to move back . Your aunt is putting pressure on you to stay.

Move back then move again when granny has passed away.

dowehaveastalker · 08/09/2019 18:05

Sounds like you want to move back home to England - i would if I were you (I say this as an expat myself)

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