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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty about the number of times I've visited a GP this year

35 replies

AbsolutelyNot90 · 08/09/2019 09:10

I'm 29 years old and I've been struggling with a few health issues this year.

Long story short a lot of lady, urination and digestion problems and unexplained pain. I actually ended up being diagnosed with endometriosis and had to have a surgery a few months ago. Things have improved but I'm still having problems.

I checked online on my GPs appointment site and I've seen a GP 11 times this year. It makes me feel really guilty like I shouldn't be doing that at the age of 29 and I feel like I'm one of those people that the media talk about who are "draining the NHS".

Trouble is it's stopped me going to GP for other health concerns and making me wait it out as long as possible. For example I've had a throbbing shooting pain in the tip of my left breast for a week now but I saw the GP about 9 days ago for my urination issues so feel like I can't go back again so quickly and am waiting it out to see what happens, whereas if it had been longer since I saw my GP I probably would have rang first thing on Monday for an appointment.

I just feel so guilty about it and wonder if the people at reception see me and are like "oh not her again". I'm actually tempted to change GP surgery just incase this is what's happening and start fresh somewhere new although I'm not sure if the new GP will know how many times I've visited the last one anyway.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 08/09/2019 09:12

You are being unreasonable! You are genuinely ill and it’s there for people like you.

There really are some piss takers but you aren’t one of them!

Hope you feel better soon

FireCrotch69 · 08/09/2019 09:12

Do you pay tax ? Yes.

I have been to the doctors once this year - for a smear test. I also pay tax. My husband pays a lot of tax, and also hasn’t used the doctors this year. You can have our ‘share’. That’s the point

That is what it is for - you haven’t been wasting anyone’s time. You have had a health issue!

Original poster
AbsolutelyNot90 · 08/09/2019 09:13

@12Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow thank you for your reply I shouldn't need this reassurance but I do. I think it's partly to do with having quite a few appointments there before my endometrosis diagnosis that were along the lines of "there's nothing wrong with you". That's where the guilt started.

But there is, so I'm not sure why the guilt hasn't budged :(

OP posts:
NigesFakeWalkingStick · 08/09/2019 09:14

You have a genuine and ongoing health issue that needs looking at. In no way should anyone judge that, or the number of appointments. It's not as if you're routinely going for random issues, you've got a back history of gynaecological problems.

I once went 30 times in a year because I had a very severe and debilitating mental health condition and my then doctor insisted on fortnightly visits.

AnnaMagnani · 08/09/2019 09:19

Why? It'll even out when things are sorted and then you will have a few years of nothing.

I had a couple of years when I was there all the time. My issues are sorted now - am only there to pick my meds up. Same for DH.

Also be aware that it often takes years for women to get a diagnosis of endometriosis and generally longer for a woman to have a diagnosis than a man Angry - so really you haven't been wasting their time, if anything they have been wasting yours.

Taken me 30yrs to get my diagnosis of a female predominant problem and even then I paid for it

PookieDo · 08/09/2019 09:19

I’m in the same situation I feel like I live in there the past 2 years!

I’ve had a referral to breast clinic, gynaecology and endocrinology and I have to see them about my asthma. I also hurt my back and had to see a neurosurgeon.

In my mind if they had referred me sooner to a gynae I may not have had to visit so much!

BuildBuildings · 08/09/2019 09:21

I totally understand this. I'm 34 and have seen my GP lots this year too plus hospital appointments. I have ongoing health issues including anxiety. I think because I'm not really ill I feel guilty about it. But my health issues were having an impact on my life and would get worse un treated. Also there's probably still a stigma re mental health vs physical health.
I will also avoid going about things that crop up because I've been about ongoing issues. I try to remind myself I pay tax (my partner never goes the GP and pays a lot of tax). I know its hard but try to make appointments when you need them as you are entitled to them.

BuildBuildings · 08/09/2019 09:23

By really I mean seriously ill not like pretend. Just read it back and wanted to clarify.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/09/2019 09:25

I think it's partly to do with having quite a few appointments there before my endometrosis diagnosis that were along the lines of "there's nothing wrong with you". That's where the guilt started.

Why the heck should you feel guilty because your doctors were slow to diagnose endometriosis quickly? Confused I believe this is an all too common problem, one of the many conditions affecting women which isn't treated seriously enough, it's a disgrace.

Sedlescombe · 08/09/2019 09:29

The NHS is there for people when they are unwell. You are unwell and so should be there. It’s not about how many times you go but how unwell you are. The people who are drawing the NHS are those that don’t turn up for appointments or appear in the surgery with every runny nose ad cough they have

Attend with a clear conscience

Fairylea · 08/09/2019 09:29

Please don’t feel guilty. If you’re not well and you need to see someone then that’s exactly what the NHS is for. The current government has made everyone feel guilty for using the NHS at all. Its crazy.

I spent a whole year going to the GP more or less once a week with all kinds of symptoms, feeling dreadful and getting more and more distressed. Intercepted with some A and E attendances. I eventually pushed for a referral to a specialist where I was diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune condition. If I had felt guilty about seeing the GP or seeking help I would have died, I know something was seriously wrong with me. Sure my story is unusual but I do think you know your body and for every person that visits the GP lots of times there will be others who haven’t gone for years and years!

SeaViewBliss · 08/09/2019 09:30

Until a year ago, I worked in General practice and have done for 30 years. There are 2 things you should know.
1, eleven appointments is not that many for someone with the health conditions you have
2, some people with far less issues are there 11 times a month

You are not a drain on the system, you are exactly the kind of person who should be there.

I hope things settle down for you soon Flowers

WilsonandNoodles · 08/09/2019 09:32

I wouldn't change doctors unless really needed as you might not be able to access appointments as easily as you have been able to. Don't feel bad about the number of times you have been. You a genuinely I'll and have needed to see the doctor. In a couple if years you might have a year with no appointments at all- it all balances out. They only get annoyed with people who come in every other week with a cold!

ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 08/09/2019 09:33

I feel the same. I've been putting off problems as i don't want to look like a frequent flyer. It's silly really but I'd hate the thought of my GP thinking I'm a nuisance!

Sleephead1 · 08/09/2019 09:36

You have been generally I'll and if it makes you feel any better I work in a surgery some patients come in 3 plus times a week for appointment and o one thinks anything of it they are ill

moccaicecream · 08/09/2019 09:37

Do you pay tax ? Yes.

is the NHS now only for those paying tax? I receive carers allowance as I have a severely disabled child. should I not have access to the NHS as I don't pay in?

MLMsuperfan · 08/09/2019 09:37

For goodness sake. The NHS is there for people in need. Those who use it rarely take comfort knowing it's there for them if they needed it more. Use it.

TroysMammy · 08/09/2019 09:41

Don't worry about it you're ill. Some of our patients have seen the GP this year more times than you. I couldn't say they are all desperately ill but sometimes you see a pattern emerging "it must be Friday as Mr so and so has booked in again".

LenoVintura · 08/09/2019 09:43

You may not believe this, but there are millions of people out there who never see their GP. My DS2 is 26 and has been to the GP maybe 10 times in his life. DS1 went a few times as a baby and toddler as he had a bowel problem, but since then, no.

OTOH, there are people who, for perfectly valid reasons, see their GP several times a week, and others who even though they are healthy, make an appointment every week “just in case” and don’t use it.

You’re not draining the NHS, you’re just using up capacity that isn’t being taken by others. You may find at another time in your life you don’t go at all for years. Meh.

DownWentTheFlag · 08/09/2019 09:46

Nothing at all to do with paying tax!

Starlight456 · 08/09/2019 09:53

I used lots of mh, services, go, a@AbsolutelyNot90
In my 40’s now I have been to gp once this year.

It’s about need. The people who need to think are the ones who go because they have a cough/ cold for a couple of days ( with the exception of for those who it can be life threatening) as gp will do nothing and could use the appointment for someone who really needs it.

RuthW · 08/09/2019 10:35

I work at a surgery. 11 times is nothing. Do you always see the gp? Maybe the nurse prescriber could help too.

Marylou62 · 08/09/2019 11:04

I know how you feel!...I could write an essay on the last 7 years of my medical history (Horrendous menopause, a DVT, eye bleeds and a terrible accident involving many broken bones. multiple blood clots and a suspected brain bleed...etc etc)

I felt I was never out of the Drs or nurses office or A&E ..

Because of the broken ribs and PEs, for nearly 6 months, I had almost constant chest pain, and breathlessness.. I went to out of hours GP numerous times, usually in the early hours. I was given ECGs and reassurance. Not once was I made to feel I was wasting NHS time. I was also on medication that skewed my thinking.

But now I am nearly recovered..I thank God every day for this..I am so so so thankful for the NHS. I gave the Drs surgery and the Pharmacy tins of chocolates and thankyou cards for the last few Christmases..they were very pleased..

I will never forget all the kindness shown..But I am still embarrassed about all the times I needed to go.

Skap · 08/09/2019 11:07

Oh this resonates with me. In the last two years I've been at the doctors more times than I care to count. Before that I had asthma and rheumatoid arthritis, now I've got a serious lung problem, heart problems and to cap it all breast cancer. It means I never feel able to go to the doctor with the little things such as eczema so they are a constant niggle on top of chronic I'll health.

Original poster
AbsolutelyNot90 · 08/09/2019 11:20

Thank you so much for all replies and I'm so sorry to those who are going through hard times with their health at the moment Flowers

I'll keep an eye on my breast pain for another week and if it hasn't improved or I notice anything different I'll book another appointment with my GP.

OP posts: