My very long-standing friend was due to visit today. Plans like these are always a bit tentative with her and I've learnt not to treat them as set in stone. I called today to see if she was still coming. She said she had enough petrol to come down (she's about an hour away) but not enough to then get home. Her boyfriend was possibly giving her some cash so we left it that she'd let me know if she was able to come. She knows that my finances are much better than they used to be - we recently bought a newer car and booked a much fancier holiday than normal for next year. My friend struggles with her finances and is currently not working. She usually does work and over the years has often earnt the same as me but spent it on things like fancier cars and a lot of weed. I don't judge her though can see that she's her own worst enemy as I know she wants to own a home but sort of sabotages all the financial opportunities she gets. Many years ago I occasionally lent her money and eventually she would pay it back but usually not at the agreed schedule.
The AIBU is to do with the conversation about petrol. I said that if she could get down I'd provide dinner and all booze for the night. I didn't offer to loan her petrol money (I don't think she needs more debt right now). I also didn't offer to give her money partly I suppose as I think that she is still managing to get weed when she wants it and partly as I guess I think that at our age (mid-40's), we need to take charge of our finances a bit more. Was I being unreasonable in not offering her a tenner though?