AIBU to want to quit my job over line report?

[schween]

I line manage someone with mental issues. I knew this when he became my line report, and I truly tried hard for 3 years to be understanding. (I am on medication for anxiety and have friends with greater mental health issues.) roll on year 4, and it’s intolerable. I doubt the medical issues, because it’s one after another, and it’s all so vague. Literally within a month he can be coughing up blood; passing out; cannot move for pain, etc. it’s never something mild - it’s death’s door or yet another best friend died. The sickness and lateness and compassionate leave is endless. He seems to use medical issues as a reason for his misbehavior- yet no-one knows what they actually are. Team morale is an all time low. I cannot convey the weirdness of it all - he has made complaints to HR that we do not acknowledge him; yet he walks in every morning, head down, miserable, will not acknowledge our own hello. He has point blank lied about work issues, then when I try to speak to him about them; he walks out the room. Last time I tried to ask him to remain, he told me I ‘thought I was royalty’ and told me essentially to eff off. I asked HR about putting him on a performance plan 18 months ago, but nothing has transpired - they always have something else to deal with. It feels like they’re protecting him. I appreciate the medical issues but it’s gotten to the point where I cannot cope myself. I cannot rely on him as a team member because he’s not capable yet i’m told i’m not to ‘stir it’ by pulling him up on his nonsense. My other team members are also all suffering mentally as a consequence - and my husband is telling me to hand my notice in because it’s affecting our home life so much. But I feel frustrated that I (or my other team members) should be the ones to leave... i otherwise love my job but have started to hate it due to him. I constantly get complaints about him from colleagues around the company (he has a very aggressive email tone) yet everyone seems to sweep it under the carpet. Argh!!!

Just to give an example - he emailed me this week to ask for more work. (Long overdue - wasn’t sure how much longer he could claim he was swamped when I have complete visibility) - I replied asking him to email Other colleagues for X; as I know they need help in that area. He replied with ‘no thanks, I want real work’. Yes it was a fairly menial task but it’s something we all (including me) need to do. Tiny example but that’s what I deal with. And yes I escalated it as always; and nothing.

I'm not sure why you're escalating it if he's your direct report, you should be managing it.

You need to get a handle on this, if you are reducing his workload compared to the Job description, then that should be documented, you need an OH report that stipulates whether he has a disability for which you need to make reasonable adjustments.

If he doesn't have a disability then you need to look at whether he is capable of fulfilling the Job Description.

That means doing the steps I described earlier and putting in place a performance improvement plan. You will need to set SMART objectives and review regularly.

Either he reports to you and you manage him, or you are not fulfilling your role of being his line manager. There is fault-on both sides of this, and if you want the situation to improve you need to deal with it.

@Lwmommy I hear you, and I think that’s what I needed to hear. I’ve escalated it because i’m At the end of my tether. I’ve said many times recently that it’s ridiculous; i’m Not doing my job as a line manager, I get that. But i’m being told not to because I will essentially cause a situation where they know he will simply go off sick if confronted; so i’m Told to bite my tongue. The whole thing is ridiculous. I couldn’t give a shit if they weren’t here - work wise it wouldn’t matter - although it would annoy the colleagues; because it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve taken long term absence.

@schween, being a manager is hard. You are human so when it seems like someone is struggling or hurting,you want to help them.

It's now reached breaking point though.

Be pragmatic about this, given his current performance and impact on you, your colleagues and your teams morale, would it be bad if he went on sick leave?

It seems like you are not benefiting from his attendance so it will go one of several ways following the meeting:

• he takes on board what you are saying and you see commitment and improvement, probably not fast, and with dips and peaks along the way but improvement.
• he gets angry, raises a complaint but you can justify your actions based on policies, and point out to HR and your manager the morale of the team and the fact that you have a role to fulfil and this is part of that.
• he goes off sick, you do regular sickness reviews and then manage against policy, possibly resulting in managing him out.

Seeing you take action will improve team morale if they are currently frustrated by his actions not being addressed. That will improve productivity, reduce attrition, drive company loyalty, improve team motivation.... so many benefits

It is so annoying when HR and/or bosses are too scared to deal with someone with a disability in case of a claim.

In reality, having a disability means that the employer could be asked to make 'reasonable adjustments' for the staff member. With those in place he/she can be expected to perform the job adequately and as well as any colleague. If they don't then they should be on an action plan and insufficient improvement should mean they are dealt with for Capability. If they go off sick just because they are being asked to do the job they are being paid for - Capability.

Even people with a disability or a long term illness cannot expect the employer to just hold the job open for them and let them work as much as they like, doing what they want to. This is blatant unfair treatment of the colleagues who are working to capacity, and they could raise a grievance over it.

How the hell did my answer end up on here? Totally wrong thread! I’ll report

Where do you work? I can only imagine a LA or University would put up with this shit.

HR can offer an Occupational Health appointment but the employee can refuse - same with medical reports tbh. If the employee refuses there is little they can do.

Do you have any absence management procedures or triggers? If not, then performance is the way to go.

I can see that it is beyond frustrating so you have my sympathy, OP.

I'd go with civil service, there are some real system players in there unfortunately. I think your HR have made it clear they are shit scared to manage the situation properly, so I think all you can do is keep accurate records (including what the person actually does do compared to colleagues on same grade etc) and then escalate it to your manager to decide on course of action

@OP you can definitely ask for confirmation of appointment attendance - my OH had to provide this for work a year back as he was missing a few days for a small procedure and he gave them the appointment letter with the details redacted.

I'm surprised that HR aren't liaising with OH on this, or at least asking for a non-specific doctor's report. He doesn't have to agree to share all details, but it's absolutely within their rights to ask for a "is he actually fit to do the job / what adjustments may be needed" guidance report.

I agree an OH assessment should at the least be offered. They are exactly for these situations.

I would make a pain of myself with HR. Weekly emails. Updated diary entries etc.

Well, I would if I were you. If I were in that situation I’d do as pp suggest and put proper boundaries and performance management in place.

I work for an LA and there are two members on my team like this. I've now got another job as it was the only way to escape them. No one ever seems to know how to handle these situations unfortunately!

Do employees have to fill in a medical questionnaire before employment?
If so, who assesses that? (It should be OH, not HR).
What is in the employees contract about referrals to OH? Are they allowed to refuse, even if their health is adversely affecting their work?
Presumably an employee with a declared disability or existing health condition must have a OH assessment prior to employment to protect their health and safety in the work place and ensure reasonable adjustments are in place?
I don't think you have clarified any of the above, but sorry if you have and I have missed it.

For any organisation, it's quite usual to have to complete a medical questionnaire.

I have a heart condition and OH called me after reviewing mine and asked if it would impact me at work in any way. I said no, except that I occasionally have to attend cardiology appointments which usually do fall within working hours, and they said fine, make sure you give your line manager enough notice and let us know if the situation changes.

It was pretty straightforward!

It usually is reasonably straightforward if OH is used appropriately.
I can't understand why this situation has got so out of hand and has been allowed to go on so long. Unless the OP's organisation does not have or use an OH service.

Leave. Toxic management which will never change.

@Merryoldgoat private sector.

@endofthelinefinally pretty sure nothing was declared prior to employment. I know he saw OH years ago when we had someone - but I don’t think we do now. And I know last time it was mentioned he refused to discuss. I’ll follow up on this next week.

"HR can offer an Occupational Health appointment but the employee can refuse - same with medical reports tbh. If the employee refuses there is little they can do."

But if the employee refuses OH and does not evidence a disability then you cannot offer reasonable adjustments, as such they would managed according to standard company policy which may work out worse for them.

Op, I have been in an almost identical situation, even down to the issues around race being flagged by someone in HR as in needing to tread carefully (this employee was of a different ethnic background to most in the office, the only one, but that had nothing to do with how he was being treated).

The workplace you describe sounds extremely unprofessional and/or inept.

Frankly after a year of suffering in your position, I went on annual leave for two weeks, and this person had to report into MY manager.

The day I got back,I was immediately called to agree to a plan to get rid of this person. My boss was at the end of his tether, absolutely livid about this employee's attitude, crap work, etc.

Funny that, because my boss had been no support and resisted my suggestions to put a performance management plan in place... Yet 3 days of managing this employee themselves, they couldn't cope

It was one of the final straws , I quit about 3 months later. No one was protecting my mental health and wellbeing. I was so stressed all the time dealing with that team member and the fallout from shit work... Nowadays I'd suggest just leaving.

Honestly, life is too short to try and fix broken office environments... If it's a major problem, it's a lot easier to move jobs than try and change anything.

If you wouldn't go back, make sure you're clear on the lack of support during your exit interview. Mine was quite cathartic, albeit probably changed nothing in that place. Shrug

@DungeonDweller thank you for posting your understanding!