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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be pissed off

15 replies

Heartburn888 · 07/09/2019 20:12

So long story short I am going to an event with my dp in a few weeks time and my sisters have sent me the screenshots saying it would be nice to go together.

I have said me and dp are going and my other sister has said well they can leave their kids with family members and we all squeeze in my car to go together.

I don’t really want to do this. I said it’s a nice idea but me and dp want to make a day of it and do our own thing, I.e should we want to go for food later or maybe go over to a shopping centre or whatever takes our fancy. My sister said well do your own thing and they will go round on their own.

Aibu to think put My foot down and say no? One of my sisters has messaged and said no it’s ok thanks and now I feel like I have upset her but it frustrates me that plans are made by one sister in particular and I’m just expected to drive people about. I know I’d be going in the same direction but me and dp were looking forward to going together, just us two.

Aibu to say no or should I just say yes to keep the peace although it seems I’ve already upset one of my sisters by saying no but I know my dp won’t be thrilled with it as it was meant to be just us two

OP posts:
NameChangedForTheDay · 07/09/2019 20:18

They are BU for inviting themselves and making you feel bad for wanting time alone with your DP.

Stick to your guns. They will get over it. How would one of them feel if they had a romantic meal out planned with their DP and you gatecrashed?

TrainspottingWelsh · 07/09/2019 20:21

Yanbu. They are taking the piss on two counts, gate crashing your date and treating you like a free taxi service. Stick to your guns.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 07/09/2019 20:23

It’s not a special occasion or anything and the event is just like a convention but it’s about an hour away from our hometown and they both don’t drive. I don’t want to give away too many details in case they are on here haha

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 07/09/2019 20:23

Does it really matter? Unless there is a massive back story here, I wouldn’t think twice about giving a family member a lift to where I was already going. I honestly can’t understand the things some people post and then get support with on here sometimes!

MrsExpo · 07/09/2019 20:23

Message your sister back ... “Twos company, threes a crowd - sorry but we’re going on our own” and lots of smiley faces. Maybe she’ll get the message that inviting herself along isn’t always welcome.

TidyDancer · 07/09/2019 20:26

I can't imagine I'd be that bothered personally. Will it be difficult for them to get there if you don't help? I don't see why giving them a lift would impact on your day other than travelling time spent with them. You can obviously say no regardless but if it was me I would be fine with it.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 07/09/2019 20:30

Well I don’t really like feeling like I’m pushed into a corner and that I can’t say no. It’s happened before when I’ve said no and I’ve been given a shitty attitude and hung up on because I don’t want to taxi people from a to b in tea time traffic after a full days work.

OP posts:
NameChangedForTheDay · 07/09/2019 20:32

I honestly can’t understand the things some people post and then get support with on here sometimes!

Because opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one and sometimes they are very different!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/09/2019 20:33

Is the issue the lift or time alone with DP?
You can have them come to your house and drop them at yours on return, no need to go out of your way

Drum2018 · 07/09/2019 20:37

I'd give them a lift but wouldn't necessarily have them tagging along with me all day. Tell them you'll be leaving for the event at x o'clock and plan to do your own thing throughout the day. Tell them you will text them an hour before you plan to leave the event and go home. However, if you and Dp had planned to go for dinner or elsewhere, on the way home just tell them that so as they know they won't have a lift home.

TidyDancer · 07/09/2019 20:37

It's not really like being a taxi though is it? You're going anyway. I would do the lift because it's a nice thing to do but just split from them when you're there.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 07/09/2019 20:42

I can’t really leave them stranded an hour from home when they have kids. And another thing is having to be back for a certain time if they get a babysitter and this cuts my day short. Just gonna stick to my guns. Too messy.

OP posts:
wineandroses1 · 07/09/2019 20:51

Yes stick to your guns and in future don’t tell them what your plans are.

Icantthinkofanynewnames · 08/09/2019 05:36

I think you’re making an unnecessarily big deal out of it. I’d just say, happy to drive you there as we are going anyway but won’t be able to give you a lift home as we will be doing our own thing afterwards

Weenurse · 08/09/2019 06:12

Just say no, date time for you and DP.
I am constantly surprised by how many people don’t drive. Unusual here in Australia, due to different distances and public transport I expect.

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