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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take DC1 on a city break and leave DH/DC2 at home?

17 replies

Bubbinsmakesthree · 07/09/2019 10:39

DS1 (aged 5) is obsessed with the idea of going to London - he got a book about London from the library and he won’t stop going on about it. DH and I have been a number of times but not for years. We have a younger DS aged 2 who is a bit of a livewire.

I’m thinking of taking DS1 for a weekend in London on my own. We’d have a great time. DH owes me a weekend away as he’s had some trips with his mates this year and I haven’t.

Obviously we could go as a family but it’d cost more, it’d be far less chilled (older DS will read books on the train, sit in a restaurant- the 2 year old just runs wild).

I’d love to go but feel either guilty for leaving DH and DS2 at home, or that I am spoiling DS1. AIBU to go on the trip with DS1?

OP posts:

KurriKurri · 07/09/2019 10:45

I'd go - you can do a 2yr old friendly day out for the little one at another time. It's not spoiling your DS1 to let him have a trip for his interests - having a lively todller along would spoil it for him (and I don;t mean that in a horrible way toddlers are lively and they obviously take up a lot of attention and have shprt attention spans).
I've taken my children (now grown up) on separate holidays before because there is a five year age gap so they were never really into the same things a t the same time.
Yo can still do family breaks for everyone and do separate trips that are age appropriate. It's great your older DS has such an interest,he'll get alot out of the trip.

MinnieMountain · 07/09/2019 10:51

Of course YANBU. But don't count it as equivalent to your DH going away with his mates.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 07/09/2019 10:56

I think this is a great idea. When your 2 yo is a bit older you can do a trip just for them based on their interests. Agree with pp that this is not the same as a weekend off though. You should arrange one of those as well.

GatoFofo · 07/09/2019 10:59

What the others have said. Absolutely go! I have done similar and am considering taking one older DC to NYC and another to a country they really want to visit.

HennyPennyHorror · 07/09/2019 11:00

It's fine!

dollydaydream114 · 07/09/2019 11:24

I think it would be absolutely lovely. DS2 isn’t really old enough to think he’s missing out and will probably enjoy being the centre of his dad’s attention at home for the weekend. DS1 gets to enjoy a special weekend with his mum without an over excited toddler playing up and taking over everything.

funnylittlefloozie · 07/09/2019 11:33

I think its a lovely idea, and not unreasonable at all. Go for it!

If its iconic London tourist sights he wants to see, i would take him on one of the bus tours first. Its a fun way to see the "big things". Is there anything in particular he is longing to see?

Cyberworrier · 07/09/2019 11:49

Lovely idea! My parents often did things like this with my bro and I growing up and I loved having the time with each and doing things my bro wouldn’t enjoy.

Original poster

Bubbinsmakesthree · 07/09/2019 15:17

This is reassuring- I need to convince DH, who I am sure would want to come too or take him instead, or ask why we don’t wait a year or two and do it as a family.

I know from previous experience that DS’s obsessions can be short lived so it would be nice to take him now whilst it would blow his mind. He most of all wants to travel on the tube and see the London Eye!

OP posts:

PinkiOcelot · 07/09/2019 15:32

Definitely go, but as someone else said it’s not the same as your DH going away with his friends.
DD1 and I are going to Barcelona for 4 nights in November and leaving DH and DD2 at home. They’re 18 and 15. I have promised DD2 that we’ll do something together when she’s 18.

LtJudyHopps · 07/09/2019 16:15

I think it’s so sweet how he’s obsessed with the tube and London eye like that I think it’s a lovely idea! He’ll love the one on one time as well as seeing his interest come to life. But do take at least a couple of days just for yourself seeing as your DH has. Hope your DS enjoys it!

ThisIsM · 07/09/2019 16:23

I don't see how this is an issue at all?? I'm doing the exact same thing with my eldest DD and leaving toddler at home in a few weeks. Why wouldn't you?!

Yerbumsootthewindae · 07/09/2019 16:31

I took DC1 to London for a few days when he was 5, just the two of us and it was lovely. Just me and my big shadow while my smaller shadow stayed at home with DH. It's nice to do things one-to-one, children get a lot out of it and he will have a ball. And yes, make sure you get a wee child-free trip at some point too!

Bubblysqueak · 07/09/2019 17:41

I did for Ds's 4th birthday he loved it, I left ds 7 at home with DH as he would have hated it.

PapayaCoconut · 07/09/2019 18:06

I would. It's lovely having some one on one time. I miss doing things like this with my DD1, but I will again when DD2 finished bf-ing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2019 18:08

Do you try to go on DH's trips away?

I'd be doing this AND a nice trip for you.

BackforGood · 07/09/2019 18:30

Of course YANBU. But don't count it as equivalent to your DH going away with his mates.

This ^
A 2 yr old will get nothing from this, but a 5 yr old will love to see some famous sites. It is always a positive thing to spend a bit of 1:1 time with each of your dc, at different times.

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