No leaving card

[leavingsad]

Tonight I had my leaving drinks shared with 4 other girls in my department.
We all joined at the exact same date (cohort) and are leaving at the same time after 3 years.

Tonight they all got a leaving card - presented quietly - except me. I never really thought of cards until I saw them get one. It was arranged by random people in our office.

I guess I'm sad because I made such an effort with so many people from helping them in need to being a shoulder to cry on. Several are invited to my small (50 people!) wedding!

I just feel hurt and don't know if I'm being a baby :(

Perhaps they don’t think they’re actually leaving your life? If they are invited to your wedding then they probably look on you as a friend outside of the office environment

I would probably feel the same way you do, OP.

So, your 3 colleagues who are leaving at same time, each got a card but not you?

I feel for you.

What are you going to do about the wedding guests from work? Would seeing them spoil your big day?

This is not you @leavingsad . Its them.

Are you all in the same dept/team?

IME there are some teams/depts where there is one "organiser" (almost always a woman) who makes a careful note of everyone's birthdays, leaving dates, MAT leave, weddings, etc and organises the card, present and whip round on each occasion.

If you don't have one of those in your team, then don't think badly, just think that you're normal.

If you're in the same team as the others, then ouch, yes that's hurtful, and maybe think about uninviting ex colleagues to your wedding.

That’s bad, really unfair. Surely someone would have realised there’s not a card for you.

So the cards were from random people, not the team you worked in?

Did you see what was inside? Is it possible it was a card from an individual person rather than one from work?

The cards were from the whole department (100 people) but organised by a friend of that person. E.g. I got an email to come over to sign the other peoples leaving cards. So each leaver last night had a different friend who held onto the card. I have no idea if smaller teams (who worked on clients together) got them bigger gifts but I know I've contributed to those before, usually a voucher or something.

The few people invited to my wedding are my actual friends and whilst I expect to see them so would want them at my wedding, they are who I'd have expected to organise my card - especially when they were busy signing everyone else's the penny should have dropped.

If you have work friends whom you are close to, ask them if they know why the department got the other 3 a leaving card but not you. There is nothing wrong about doing that; not giving you a card was wrong, not you asking about it.