Class TA is the mother of one of the children

[chugmonkey]

I'm prepared to be flamed here as there's bound to be some people who are also working in the same class as their child but I just think it's completely inappropriate.

My dd has just started year 6. In her class is a bright, sporty, all round 'golden boy' who also happens to have quite a nasty side to him. His mother completely indulges him and won't hear a word said against him.
He has been really horrible to my DD on a number of occasions and we have had to go through the head to get him to stop because he just lies to his mother and gets away with it.

I know a number of past and present staff members who share my views about this mum's 'blind spot' when it comes to her child as mum also happens to be a TA at the school.

When I saw the staffing lists for this year I was surprised and pretty irritated to see this mum as TA for the class her own son and my dd are in.

AI just being U because I think she'll continue to favour her son or is this just an inappropriate situation anyway?

It’s not ideal. I had a TA whose daughter was in the year group, deliberately not same class though. On playground duty if her daughter was involved in a squabble or whatever she’d ask the other adult to resolve it.

The only thing I can think is that the TA may be the only suitable TA for year 6 if it’s a small school. At my current school my TA is genuinely the only TA who is capable of doing, let alone teaching, year 6 maths (I wish I was joking or exaggerating but I’m not). Similarly the grammar expectations are very high now (I had to learn a load of stuff to teach it, as it wasn’t taught when I was at school nor on teacher training). It may be the head has had to prioritise the good of the whole year 6 cohort having appropriate TA support ahead of separating mother and son.

I had same problem when in my first year teaching. Her son was very antisocial & immature for his age & she was very fussy & pernickety & babied him. She'd also question my every interaction & lesson plan in the classroom. I'd try & give her stuff she could do in the library or breakout areas to give us all a break. The Head couldn't see the issue... Until the mother started leeching onto him every break time. Needless to say he decided we didn't need a TA after that & it suited me (very large class, lots of children with issues, but no worse than deprived inner city where I'd trained)

A TA has been in my dd’s class with her ds for two years. No issues but he is a very well-behaved boy. Ij your situation i wouldnt be impressed.

At the primary my DC attend, there are a number of mothers of pupils working as TAs. School policy seems to be that they are not allowed to work in the same year group that any of their DC is in, which seems sensible to me.

A number of teachers also have their DC at the school, and they are never assigned to teach their child’s class.

My mum taught my sister at primary school - no real choice as it was a village school and there was only one class per year. My dad duly went along to parents evening like all the other parents.

We had a situation like this a couple of years ago, small primary with a girl who could be so lovely when her mum and teachers were looking, but had an unpleasant side too. The mum was a TA who sometimes taught in the same class and she was a friend of mine, my DD and other children didn't feel like they could criticise this child because her mum was there. It did cause some resentment in year 5/6.

However, we had another TA whose son came to the school in Year 3 and left in the summer, there was never any favouritism with him and his mum is lovely and fair with all the children, but she does work with the reception/year 1 class.

I think this is just one of the ways school staff should be required to behave professionally.

When my DD1 was at our small village school 2 out of the four teachers had their own children in the school and they all had them in their own class at some point. There were also two TAs with 2 children each in the school so the same applied. It also meant that the staff had lots of friends amongst the parents. Some of us went on holiday together.

They were expected to apply sound professional judgement to all situations, whether their own children were involced or not. They seemed to be trusted to do so and lived up to that trust as far as I know.

I think the issue is more that the TA doesn't behave professionally than that her child is in her own class.

That's very weird ... is it a tiny school in a very small community, or just very bad planning .. or mabe deliberate?
Where I live (not UK), this wouldn't even be legal. In small places, with only one school (if the specific type - primary etc.), people can work in the same school there child goes to, but never in their class/directly with their children. When there are more schools, parents and their children can't be in the same one. This rule surely makes sense.

It's not a good idea. It leaves the TA open to accusations of favouring her child even if she isn't. I work in my children's school but never in their year much less in their class. On the playground, if they ever come to me with issues I pass them on to someone else to deal with.

I'd bring it up with the teacher, it's not good practice.
I'm a SEN TA and used to work in a primary school where the class TA also had her son in the class. He was put in the top reading group/ maths group despite clearly not belonging there, but instead of moving him to a lower group he was given 'additional support' so he could keep up with the rest of the top group the class teacher was also best mates with the class TA so it was rather blatant nepotism. I wouldn't have felt comfortable having my own child in a class with that sort of set-up.

Small island/rural type community dweller chiming in - while parents are TAs at the schools, they generally aren't in their DC's classrooms

That depends on how small the school is. I come from somewhere there are only 20 pupils aged 4-18

That boy will get the shock of his life when he's little shit at Secondary and mummy aint there to back him up.

At DS last school, the Pastoral Head was mother to the class bully. She wouldn't/couldn't/didn't do anything to get his behaviour under control. The rest of the SLT stepped in to manage him and she ended up quitting because she felt her little darling had been so unfairly treated when he was excluded for a few days.

I had the same situation, but with a lunch time supervisor (dinner lady).

Her Son eventually assaulted another pupil and she was never on her own again. He thought he'd become untouchable.

I helped in my DDs class, she had ADHD and my presence kept her calm. So it can have benefits.

I went to school with many people who had their mum's or dad's teach them, it was very common the schools I went to. I think their own children got a rougher ride if anything from their own parents. It seemed to be other teachers who were mates with their parents that went easy on them.

We had issues with a girl in my daughters year at primary. Her mum is a ta at the school and the daughter actually said to other girls in the year that she wouldn't be punished as her mum worked there. And she wasn't, by year 6 she had turned into a vile bully. However her mum refused to believe that her daughter wasn't an angel. The children have now moved up to secondary; I'm wondering how long it will be before the mum tries to get a job there.

It’s totally unprofessional and a conflict of interest. The TA on my primary 3 class was also great mother of one of the girls. Her daughter got away with loads. What made it worse was she later became a brownie leader and her daughter also got favourite treatment there too. It was horrible for other kids and embarrassing for her daughter as she got older. It’s wrong and shouldn’t happen.

Is there more than one year 6 class at the school?
DD goes to the school i work at, there are lots of staff who have children in school and where possible we are in separate classes, but most TA's tend to have their year groups they work with so that is only an option because we are 2 form entry.

I have had to cover DD's class a couple of times and am on the same playgrounds as her and I hate it, partly because I have realised DD is not quite as perfect as I thought she was but also because its very hard to balance between letting her get away with things and making an example of her, because I do expect better from her than I do other children because I know she knows how to behave (even if she hides that knowledge well). This mum might well see another side to her DS now she can see his every move in class and is likely to be trying really hard to look impartial so it might not be as bad as you think.

Totally inappropriate and unprofessional. No equivalent would ever be allowed in my line of work. Surely there were other options? Why has the head teacher let this happen?

What do people think happens in really small rural or Island communities where its quite likely you will be taught by your parents or your sibling?
In our case, it meant we had to take our son to hospital after the grandchild of a teacher pushed our son to the ground and stamped on his head. Previous complaints about his bullying had been ignored, because he was obviously from a "better" family than our son, what with his granny being a teacher and all.
So what happens on a small island in cases like this is frequently fuck all!

That shouldn't be allowed. I work in a special school where some staff help out with the children after school. The rule is you can't work in a class with the child you help outside school and if parents work in the school they can't be in that class either.

In your situation it’s wrong.
Generally however, I see no issue with it. My DD at secondary school was in classes with kids whose parents were the teachers. Even in sixth form, one subject teacher was the mother of one of the students. DD said it was all highly professional and every child was treated the same

It concerns me that a number of past and present staff share your views about him! It doesn't sound very professional for them to talk about him to you like that. If anything though, I doubt that she'll favour him. If anything, she will probably avoid working too closely with him in order to prove that she is a professional. Besides which, if he is a golden boy, she will probably be helping those who need more one to one/small group support anyway. It's probably his worst nightmare too. I think that it will be fine and nothing to get worked up about. At least give it time to see how it pans out

When my dd2 was in year four the TA was her friends Mum and the teacher was her step dad. It wasn’t an issue though.

It should not be allowed for a host of reasons.
I would put in a letter of concern addressed to the governors and chair of governors.
You do not have to give your name.