To not know whether to go to the party or not?

[Windydaysuponus]

Ds has just had some sort of mh episode. Currently under crisis team care.
On the weeks up to this him and his new ish (couple of months) gf were arguing quite a bit and did indeed finish. He finished it. Said bluntly the relationship was shit. His words.
Days later she is wearing a ring and they announce their engagement. I posted about then regarding him /her /his cash and him being vulnerable.
They have (her family) organised a party with many guests. He has paid for everything. He assured me it was a long engagement only thing with no wedding in the future. Imo a grand gesture to make amends for dumping her....
So do I stay away from the party as frankly he is of no sound mind to be drinking /spending such cash/making promises. Or sit there biting my tongue about all things weddingish? Or speak up and declare it a farce? I won't be a hypocrite and sit and join in with well wishes! He was prescribed ads a few weeks ago that went missing he told me. She says he does not need them although she isn't a Dr. We have spoken to him and he says he agrees things have moved too fast but her family are so involved he is going along with it. His boss spoke to me about how toxic she is (their opinion based on facts from ds and witnessing them together).
I feel stuck also!
Help mn!!

I think you should go as a gesture of support for your DS. It is a very difficult situation though.

Hopefully the engagement will fizzle out. It's a shame your DS has spent so much money on it.

Do you want to post a link to your earlier thread to fill in some background.

On the face of it I'd go just to get a sense of what her family are like (confirm they are toxic?). What do his crises team think about the relationship?

Sounds like you're in a difficult position. Does your ds know how you feel about it? I'm not sure I would go. You could sit down and tell him that you will always be there for him but you dont agree with this. I wouldn't go because I wouldn't want to be supporting this toxic relationship in any way.

I have told him I have no head space to deal with her right now. She has anxiety apparently and is on meds. She seemed unfazed by his crisis tbh. Insisted she went with him tho was unable to be informative as she doesn't really know him! I spoke to the team several times and voiced my concerns. Ones about her also.
She doesn't work and seems unhappy ds does. He said he hopes we all attend but knows it isn't a given that we will.
He is in over his head.