20 week scan not telling the father

[CPParenttoDD1234]

I’m a long time lurker but don’t post very often.

So three weeks ago my now ExDP became aggressive and violent towards me. I left the family home with my belongings and have barely had any contact with him since.

I’m pregnant with a planned and much wanted baby. It’s our second child together. Since leaving he’s not once asked about the pregnancy and has been doing everything he can to make my life stressful and difficult. He is still seeing his DS one night a week but nothing in between from him.

I have my 20 week scan coming up and I don’t want him there. He booked the scan with me so should know when it is. So AIBU to a) not remind him and b) if he shows up not let him in to the room.

I’ve checked with my midwife and they have said he doesn’t have to be allowed in and that’s my right. I just feel really conflicted and hurt by his actions towards me. Please go easy on me. I’m in a very delicate situation and I’m very shocked and hurt by his actions towards me.

Unfortunately he has every right to his child despite what he has done to me

Not while it's inside the OPs body.

Agree. Whilst the baby is 'in utero,' he has no right to attend what is a personal medical appointment for you.
Argue the rest of it once the baby is here.

If he's got plenty of money, make sure he pays child support. However, when it comes to seeing the DC remember that a) he has no rights over your unborn baby at all until the baby is safely born, and he won't have 'rights' to stuff like overnight contact if you are BF. And you can make it fairly difficult for him in the hope he gets bored and fucks off.
As PP have said, keep records of his abusive behaviour and report it to your HCPs/the police/SS as necessary. And don't listen to anything he has to say on the subject - abusive, controlling men are always full of shit about their 'rights' and most of what they threaten is either untrue or not stuff they could actually be arsed to do.

Change the date if you can

He didn’t show! I sent him a picture he hasn’t responded. I’m taking it he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby just the older child. It was really sad going alone I cried the whole way through. On the positive. Baby is fine and I even know the sex - but he doesn’t! There is no easy resolution but I’m happy with the effort I’m making. He has to make his own choices as it’s his conscious that has to live with them. Thank you for all your lovely comments