To think we’ll be ok with this?

[Likethebattle]

Both DH and I are starting new jobs this month. I am moving sideways so my wage will remain stable. DH however has been unhappy for years and is going to take a large salary cut but will earn commission.

He is now terrified that we will not be able to survive and is really down about it. He jerks saying he is scared, I told him to withdraw his resignation if he wanted but he’d remain miserable.

After everything has been paid including our food shop (I budget £100 a week and we usually spend less) we will have £900 disposable income a month. That seems fine to me but he thinks it’s not enough. Aibu to think we will be ok?

Wow! That sounds like loads! We basically spend what we earn but manage...

Sigh.

So the £900 is just for treats in reality? Everything else is covered? If so it’s eminently doable. Lots of people manage on much less.

Why not alleviate his worry by moving up, not sideways?

Well it seems a lot to me but it's all relative I suppose.

@Spinderellacutituponetime that’s what I think we will just need to live accordingly. The only debt we have is our mortgage so we will be fine.

I think DH is used to buying his lunch every day and just spending what he wants and when whereas I am used to a budget. It’s £200 a Weekish! He seems to be really panicking though!

Oh is this real? That’s a huge amount of money to have left over. Why on earth would it be a problem?

As in that’s more disposable income than I earn in a month. So I can pay bills and go food shopping and have £50 left a month

@Gpatz because I have to move sideways first to move up. I also think it seems loads so i’m really surprised at how panicked he is.

That's £30 a day... I think once we pay all we have to pay, food and petrol we have about £200 left if we're lucky. Tell him to be grateful and man up

Shame he has been unhappy for years.

@IDrinkAndISewThings he seems to not be taking anything on board. Change is scary but he has been so miserable with his job for a few years now but it was really well paid and he stayed for the money.

@gpatz I have been telling him for years to get something else but his job was well paid.

When you say everything I take it that includes petrol and some into savings too ?

@pumpkinpie01 it includes petrol but nothing into savings.

Got to the bottom of it. We have separate accounts but a joint bills account. In the past he always paid more in as he earned almost double my wage. He thought he was still going to be paying the same contribution. I told him that’s nit how it works. I paid off a large debt so have more money and as the higher earner I’ll be the one putting more into the bills account (hopefully if he gets commission fairly quickly it will all be short term anyway). The other option is just to combine everything then we are really working together. I don’t care what he does for a living, he could scrub toilets for all I care as long as he’s happier.

We don't have that much more than £900 to keep five of us each month for everything, and we manage. £900 left over would be like a lottery win to us!
You'll be fine.

When you say everything is covered does that include money put aside for annual and irregular expenses like insurance, Christmas, holidays, car servicing, broken washing machines etc?

You need to account for all the above and split the rest 50/50. If he spends a lot on lunches, coffees etc then that's such an easy way to cut back to save money, some people spend hundreds of pounds a month and it's really not great financially or health wise.

Will he be able to claim any expenses in the new job if he's travelling about as that will help towards the cost.

Depends on your lifestyle, we spend £900 a month on ciggies.

Ah that explains why he was worried, glad you got to the bottom of it and have been able to reassure him.

We don’t smoke, drink very rarely. He will have a company car so all car expenses are covered apart from personal fuel. Everything covered means bills we will still need to cover ad-hoc from £900. I only buy for three people at Christmas, we will have less to spend on nights away or holidays but we live on a beautiful part of Scotland and have a decent home. We have savings from previous years when he earned more. So we have emergency funds.

Yeah I think you’ll be fine.

If he’s been unhappy for years in his last job maybe he’s feeling nervous about the new job and just getting stressed about everything?

I think it's a good idea to agree pocket money before you start. Everyone gets maybe 100 quid a month to do as they please. If he wants to buy fancy lunches, that's his choice until it's gone.

Saves arguing.