Hi. Sorry for the long post but really don’t know what to do.
My mum and I have always had a weird relationship as far back as I remember she always told me what to do/what to wear like for example because I have blue eyes I could only wear blue eyeshadow things like that. I’m a only child and never met my father (mum and dad got divorced when I was a baby) so it’s always been me and her. When I was younger if she didn’t like what I said and we were at a friends house she used to take me outside in their hallway shout at me then kick me in the shins. She always told me how to do things.
When I had my dd we were ok a few arguments but it was never that bad. When I had ds2 who I found out had special needs when I was pregnant with dd3 I went into depression and I’m now on anti depressants as my dd3 was 2 months early and stayed in special care unit for 3 weeks. I needed some help as I was in a black hole and felt I couldn’t look after the dc in my state so my mum stayed with us for 18 months she was a great help and I’m grateful for the help she did for us. Anyway I got stronger and she went home.
For the last year she has been awful coming into my home and telling me what needs doing what’s wrong with the house what my dh should be doing (they don’t get on at all) and then tells me he is useless for not doing it. She tells me that my dh can’t do diy properly so I have to bring in a handy man to do any jobs around the house. She gets cross with my dd as she’s 9 and is going through the stage of not taking or sometimes not saying hello (I do pull her up on this) or is on the iPad longer than my mum thinks is right. She will look for things that she can say to me I bite my tongue sometimes and for a little while but I end up snapping at her then she will do the same and ends up walking out the door (a lot of the time my dc are there). My dd2 last birthday party she walked out for a little while because of something and then came back. I’m fed up of it it stresses me out and it affects my relationship with dc and dh.
So my question is we have no contact at the moment because we are going to butlins for Christmas (she has come with us before) but due to the arguments and the stress I booked it for just me dh and dc she thought she was going (I did say maybe earlier this year as things weren’t great) and when I told her it’s just us going she went mad I explained why and if things improved I can add her on. She yelled at me walked out the door and I haven’t heard from her since except a couple of texts.
Am I AIBU?