About my son's haircut?

[RottenTomatoes959]

I'm fully prepared to be told I'm unreasonable here.

My sons dad started to pay €12 per week about 3 weeks ago after 4/5 months of paying nothing, he says that is 10% of his income so that's all he needs to pay which is fair enough.

He paid the 12 3 weeks ago, forgot last week so was meant to pay €24 this week.

He has him every wednesday night and every second friday to monday.

Now the aibu is he took our son for a haircut when he had him over the weekend of his own volition, he never said it to me and I didnt ask him to do it,

So today instead of getting the 24 he only gave me €10 because of the haircut. I think it's really unfair of him to not pay me the full amount because of something he decided to do. His hair really didnt need a cut for another few weeks and I'm frustrated that I'm getting so little to begin with for DS.

I know this probably seems really petty but I dont make a huge amount myself and with DS recently starting school I'm pretty much broke.

Aibu for being frustrated with this?

You are being very reasonable IMO and very patient too. I'd be really offended that he couldn't take him for a haircut out of his own pocket, it's really not a lot to ask.

€12 a week? Blimey- that’s ridiculous! Can you take him to court for more?

I think it'd be in your best interests to get a legal arrangement in place for the maintenance payments. That amount seems suspiciously low, and it's clearly not something you can rely on - he'll pull this type of stunt again.

Yes, I'd be cross about that too. By deducting what he spent on his own time, he's making you subsidise his contact time with his child.

Yeah I think after this I may have to bite the bullet and just go down the legal route.

The only reason he even agreed to pay the 12 was because I threatened court when be refused to pay even €20 towards DS uniform or books, which added up to about €200.

Yikes! Yanbu! Go down the legal route. Stop being so 'understanding'. The haircut is a red herring. Take that bugger to court.

What's next... he buys the child a McDonald's then shaves off another €4. Forget that!

He is utterly unreasonable. CSM is probably the best way to go. It's not up to him to dictate what the maintenance is spent on and certainly not to spend it himself!!

Where do you live? You've mentioned Euros a few times so it may be that the laws are different in that country.

Legal route. What next, is he going to knock money off if he buys him a present, or feeds him?

I'm in Ireland @CruCru

Child maintenance aside, I think it’s pretty disgusting to not just pay for the haircut himself if he took him for a haircut. I’d go down the legal route, as he seems unreasonable

You need to go and have a word with that other woman complaining about getting £1273 maintenance. Ridiculous, selfish asshole

wow. hes a dick and entitled douche.

no you are definitely not being unreasonable!!!!

go to the legal route!

Yep, CMS his stingy ass.

Thank you all for agreeing!

He honestly had me believing i was going insane for being annoyed about it!

€12 a week?! Tight fuck! What do you think he earns?

The tight bastard.

do you believe he's only earning 120 a week or is that benefits? is it true he only has to pay 10% of income.

My friends, 21 year old daughter studying in Dublin earns 100euro a week for approx. 9 hours weekend work a week in a local shop.

I think you need to line up your ducks here get some legal advice as it sounds like your going to have problem after problem getting money for your DS ,aside from the whole haircut nonsense he's pulling now there is no way he should forget to pay you any week. You need to get him to set up some form of direct payment so you are not always asking.

I mean does he think that his child is being looked after properly with his £12 plus the same amount from you? £24 a week? Of course he doesn't so he already knows you're paying the lions share to look after your son

OP I am also in Ireland. Where are you getting 10% of earnings being all he has to pay?

That's nonsense.

Legally, both you and he have to complete an Affidavit of Means and state all income and expenditure, including provision for children, and then you can either go through mediation to work it out (before going to court) or directly deal with solicitors (what I have had to do, but mediation was never going to work in my case).

This does differ if you were married / not married, but you still can pursue him legally for maintenance if you weren't married to each other.

(Ireland isn't like the UK with the CMS, just in case anyone is wondering)

YANBU about the haircut of course, and you need to get on his case about €12 pw maintenance which is nuts. Do threaten him with legal action, and follow up on it.

£12 @ 10% means he earns £120 a week. If he’s full time that’s less than £4 an hour. It’s outrageous!

Ohh my mum did this to my dad. Anything she bought while I was with her was shaved off what she paid to my dad so I just stopped asking for anything or to go anywhere with her because I knew my dad needed the money.

I absolutely lost respect for her the minute I realised she did this and I remember it vividly 25 years later.

Go to court and get whatever you can for your kid, you and he deserve better

@frogsbreath
My DP has an exW who he pays maintenance to, uniforms, trips, hobbies but when they come to him they mysteriously have no clothes, swim gear etc, all geared to make him spend even if they don’t actually need. They are also coached to ask for days out which puts him in an awkward position. Some parents really don’t deserve the title.

I know some of his money is benefits as hes a student but he doesnt tell me much so I dont know if he works or not aswell, as hes been off college all summer so he could well be.