Child playing alone in garden

[Bitchfeatures]

AIBU, 2.5yr old playing in the garden alone. I think he's too young, DP says he will be ok and I'm been overprotective.
The garden has a 6ft fence and a locked gate, can see less than half of the garden via kitchen window, can't see at all via living room window, the back doors open so can hear but not necessarily see.
DS wants to be in the garden allll day, I sit out/play with him but it's a pain not been able to get housework etc done on the days we are home.
Who's BU?

I wouldn't but each to their own.

To be fair, we did have a dead bird in the garden but my dcs didn’t eat it.

😂😂😂

You've raised them well, Iggy.

Absolutely. DS was out in our garden solo at that age.

Of course it's fine.

How can children learn to risk assess if you don't let them take risks.

My 2.5 year old knows to let me know if she's going outside into the garden to play so I can keep an eye/ ear out for her.

She knows not to touch the thorny plants because she tried that once and it hurt.

She knows if she runs fast on the uneven bits she might trip and hurt herself because she's done that and tripped many times and now she tries to take more care.

She knows not to eat stones because she's 2.5 and that's what babies do and she's not a baby.

She knows if she's worried or scared or a dead zombie bird / fox / large choking rock or random bath tries to kill her that all she has to do is shout mummy and I will be there in seconds armed with the appropriate kitchen implement.

Ds is 2 and he's out in the garden solo all day. I just prop the door open and he potters in and out, as do I.

Some of the above danger scenarios are bloody hilarious. 😂

I have done this at that age (and younger) when doing jobs in the kitchen, with almost full view and windows open. After going out and removing any hazards.
The only garden accident we ever had was DS2 cutting his head by falling on a plant pot and I was sat outside, 1 metre away that time.
Any silliness and they're straight back in though.

You've raised them well

Maybe there were more and they did eat them 😂

Anything could happen

Some of these scenarios are a little bit far fetched....a cat attack

OP correct me if I’m wrong but the scenarios I’m imagining is:
DS playing in garden
OP comes in to do the washing up, goes to check DS
OP cleans the kitchen surfaces, goes to check DS
OP makes herself a cuppa and how out to play with DS for 10 mins
OP comes back in to fold some washing and leave it by the stairs to take up later, goes to check DS
Etc etc!

I don’t think OP is planning on leaving DS so long that he gets heatstroke from inadequate sun protection, or leaving him to fend for himself against the neighbourhood badgers.

I’d imagine he’d come in looking for you periodically too. Children of that age generally do. Personally I’d get on with my jobs providing you don’t have things like climbing frames etc in the garden to fall from. Sounds a safe set up otherwise just to pop in and out of house to check on him.

a toddler in a locked, secure garden? and you think this is something to call child services over? Get a life.

I’m jealous of you for having a toddler that will go off and play on their own! Even aged three mine won’t do five minutes alone without ‘mummy, mummy’. He wants me involved in every single game, chasing him, playing hide and seek, finding bugs.. it’s fun but exhausting. I leave all the housework till he’s asleep. Think in your situation I’d just do quick things like putting a wash on and then plonk a chair down in the garden with a cuppa and read a book.

If you’re the primary care giver and your instincts are to keep him in sight, then go with that. Trust yourself.
It’s an unfortunate fact of parenting that everyone else knows better than you and is quick to tell you. But unless they’re there, day in day out, I’d prioritize your own instincts.
I’ve had this from dh and others over the years but I’m not some crazed, anxious hovering lunatic suppressing my dc’s freedom. I’m certain about this because I’m fundamentally lazy
Get your dc involved in the housework a bit. Laundry is an easy one. Sweeping brushes and mops with adjustable handles are great. And accept that you won’t get as much done as you’d like.
And then sit in the garden with a cuppa and a book (setting an excellent example ) and keep an eye.

I didn't at that age. Because we have a lot of foxes nearby, and it isn't unusual to see them during the day.

We have a nursery 20 doors down from us and I emailed them to tell them about the fox because we had seen one every day for about a week, and wanted them to know.

I haven't seen them for a while, but it was enough to put me off.

@Aannnaa who's calling child services?

Thanks for all your responses, maybe OH is right about something for a change

I let both my two ( 3 and 2 ) play alone in the garden. It is faced in on all sides, no holes for them to get through. There is very low level decking and just grass. The longest I would leave them is 30 mins and I usually stay downstairs so I can wash up or cook whilst watching them. I wouldn't leave them out any longer than that without me as a fight will usually ensue!

Yanbu.

No chance I’d have left my dd at 2.5 as she had no sense about what was safe to touch etc.

Even now at 4 I’d be cautious although I would do it.

Do foxes attack playing children? I have foxes that come in my back garden, have done for years, but if a person goes out there they scarper - if my cats go into the garden the foxes run. A child running around playing would scare them.

Mine played alone, or with friends, in the garden at that age but I was around to see what was happening and left back door open. Nothing bad happened.

There was a toddler and his dog wandering around in the green area outside FIL's house one day. FIL watched him, thinking he belonged to some people working at a house a few doors up. A while later, FIL went out in his garden and met his ndn. Both realised no one knew who the DC belonged to. 15 minutes later a woman came along very upset saying her DS was missing. The toddler had been playing in the back yard, he had followed a dog and walked through two adjoining fields and arrived outside FIL's house.

Oh gosh, that's frightening TwinPair. Many years ago my neighbour's little boy disappeared. As you can imagine she was frantic, he was only two. He'd been with her and then he wasn't. I had a feeling he might be indoors hiding somewhere, however before she took any action her phone rang. It was the local primary school, he was in the playground waiting for his sister! Wearing only a vest. He'd opened the back door, wandered up the garden and through the access road.

It was a great relief that he was safe but certainly a good story to tell about him now he's an adult (especially the only wearing a vest bit).

I’m so surprised with the amount of people saying that this is fine when she has said she can’t see him properly! Absolutely would not be fine with this personally! I’d have to be out there keeping an eye out, but maybe I’m overprotective

Mine used to spend hours out there "painting" things w water at that age. I was never out of earshot (kitchen) but I didn't feel the need to be with them every second.

Oh, should add that there's absolutely no way out of our back garden except via the house.

I wish my toddler would be more happy to play in the garden on her own!
If I sneak inside to do a bit of cooking she follows me and wants to play with me. Enjoy a bit of time to do stuff you want to do I’d say, and they get nice and tired when they’ve spent time outside

My kids have had free flow into the garden all summer. They are 1 and 3. Sometimes they are out there together, sometimes not. I check on them occasionally, and tbh they are normally fairly noisy so I can hear everything is fine.

But I also admit I'm on the lax end of the supervision spectrum.