AIBU to consider reducing the amount I spend on birthday/christmas presents

[ButterflyOne1]

I have four nephews and three nieces. Youngest is 13 and oldest is 22. I've always been fairly generous (or so I thought) and spent usually £20-£50 on each of them for their birthdays/Christmas.

I always prefer to buy them presents and ask what they'd like so if one wanted a pair of trainers for £35, I'd buy them. My only 'rule' has been if they ask for cash then they get £20. I hate giving cash as it feels so lazy but they want it the older they get.

I'm hoping to start a family next year and I think it's time to consider reducing what I spend. I am considering stop buying for the ones older than 21 (one is 21 this year so she'll get about £50 spent as it's a special birthday). And perhaps reducing the limit to £10-£20. Is this fair?

Yes that's totally fair. Yanbu.

You are not being unreasonable to want to reduce how much you spend.

In our family you still get a present until you have your own children, so my aunts stopped buying for me when I was 25 and I think I will adopt this within my own nieces and nephews.

We have quite a few nieces and nephews as dh is one of 4 so our budget is approx £15 per child for Birthdays and also Christmas.

We don't do any adult presents in our family. They stop at 21 with a larger cash gift. I think it is fairer, I don't want my family including this who are at uni/just left having to buy me a present that I don't want or need.

Stop at 21.

We stop at 18 in our family, mainly because both my Dsis and Bil are not well off either money or time-wise. My DC’s got stuff they didn’t want or need, and I hated that people had wasted precious time and resources on presents for kids they don’t know very well.

In our family you still get a present until you have your own children, so my aunts stopped buying for me when I was 25 and I think I will adopt this within my own nieces and nephews.

Bit weirdly unfair, though, isn't it? You are a dependent until you have dependents? Though you have less money in the first year of having kids and the baby doesn't need a gift?

Just pick a year to stop (21 makes sense) and leave it at that!

Thanks for the replies. Well it's funny you say that about buying for the kids as my sister texts me every year saying "Are we just buying for the kids?" and my response is usually sure you can buy something for my dog (as I don't have kids!). Last year when she sent it, I said that's great she can buy for DP three children funny enough I got yet another gift from the pound shop instead lol

Yanbu - I think you are v v generous as it is.