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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nice message to give our to new Sixth Formers?

28 replies

Getusedtoit · 05/09/2019 11:28

DD has just joined Sixth Form at a selective Boys' School.

Ratio of male to female is probably 80/20.

They started school on Tuesday lots of admin etc, lessons started just before lunch yesterday. It's a school which offers the traditional Games on Wednesday afternoon.

She knew she could leave early yesterday as there wasn't anything in place yet for sports.

I offered to pick her male friend up at 2pm yesterday when I collected her, but he was staying still normal time as he had rugby.

Yup.

Boy sport was organised and raring to go on day 2. Girl sport? Not so much.

AIBU to think welcome to the Patriarchy?

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/09/2019 11:32

I think it’s more like ‘Welcome to a school you knew was male-dominated and still chose anyway’.

TomHagenMakesMyBosomTremble · 05/09/2019 11:46

I think you're fussing over nothing. I went to a school like this- girls in VI form 80/20 split, weds pm games all afternoon. It probably depends which sports she's picked and which days they run on. We didn't pick our games options til we got there so if you didn't pick a team sport like hockey or netball (which would have a gentler intro session) and went for Pilates or swimming or dance etc, they started properly week 2. Usually once numbers etc were confirmed to outside instructors. It was considered part of our soft induction to the school, having a week off! You could also choose sports options on another day and have weds afternoon all or partly free. The school may have a system like this in place so your Dd may have part of weds pm free anyway? We couldn't leave as we had end of day registration, plus skiving on a weds meant you missed doughnut break! The whole school got doughnuts at about 3pm on a Wednesday, regardless of activity.

Boys will be also picking up teams & sports they've done for ages and may have had pre term training for so yes, it may be a slicker start.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 11:52

It isn't great but as the poster above said there are probably some things they know they will always run and that the pe staff do (like rugby) and others that depend on numbers and need some extra organisation. The girls' sports (and by 16 they definitely need to be separated) are always going to be in the latter because their numbers are so much smaller - they might not get enough to run even quite a popular thing like netball (you'd need two teams, ideally, which could work out to a big proportion of all the girls and so it's unlikely you'd get the numbers)

I also went to a boys' school that took girls in sixth form and you can sometimes feel like an afterthought (our toilet situation was rubbish!) but it was a great school and overall I was very happy

blametheparents · 05/09/2019 11:52

Boys will be also picking up teams & sports they've done for ages and may have had pre term training for so yes, it may be a slicker start

Definitely this.
My DS was at a selective boys’ school which welcomed girls in the 6th form - ratio ended up being about 50:50.
He’s played rugby for 5 years at the school already by the time he got to 6th form and this picked up quickly in year 12.
Netball started a week or so later once the girls had settled in. Netball was well run and had good support.
All good.
Give it a few says and see what happens.

Madeleine383 · 05/09/2019 11:57

A boys school that takes a few girls in the sixth form is never going to have great sports opportunities for girls. Why did you pick the school if you cared about this so much?

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 05/09/2019 12:02

The boy in question started on Tuesday also.

Chose the school because of the fantastic opportunities it offers and, its assertion of how inclusive they are in the mixed sex Sixth Form.

OP posts:
Original poster
Getusedtoit · 05/09/2019 12:03

Few girls? There's approximately 80.

OP posts:
Phineyj · 05/09/2019 12:12

I think it's more surprising that they were ready to go with some sport in the first week, than that most sport doesn't start till the first full week. Are you looking for offence or something? On the flip side, presumably minority girls at a boys' school do at least stand a good chance of getting picked for teams etc.

MagneticSingularity · 05/09/2019 12:17

I think you’re just looking for reasons to get offended and you’re not doing your daughter any favors by it. You chose to send her to a predominantly boys’ school so you’re going to have to accept that while certain accommodations and practices are already long-established and in situ for boys, they may not be in entirely ‘hit the ground running’ readiness for girls on day 1.

The boy in question might have only started on Tuesday but rugby at the school clearly didn’t, you’re being ridiculously nitpicky.

Bunnylove83 · 05/09/2019 12:18

Thinking practically, as a Head of Sixth Form (on mat leave) i’d feel confident about the rough numbers of male students given likely high numbers of people internals, and therefore organise boys’ sports.
With external (largely female in this case) students you never know exactly who will be coming, or if they’ve changed their minds and gone elsewhere, and therefore am also cautious about external numbers for the first week or so. In this case, I wouldn’t organise girls’ sports for the first week, and in particular because they’ve already got to get used to a new school/system/friends etc. in a way that I assume (most) male students do not.

OrangeSlices998 · 05/09/2019 12:36

Have you contacted the school, has anyone asked about other sports? Can your daughter organise something she is interested in?

I don't think one Wednesday is enough indication to scream sexism. If they don't offer the girls any sport, but do the boys, then yes by all means.

underneaththeash · 05/09/2019 12:59

It’s probably due to the fact that they’ll have their first rugby fixture soon and they need to select teams/train.
Rugby fixtures usually only happen this term, whereas I think netball is this term and next.

JacquesHammer · 05/09/2019 13:02

A decent coach can handle picking a team whilst giving relevant activities for girls (and non-rugby players do).

YANBU OP, if they accept girls as students, everything should be in place for them to have the same opportunity of experience as their male counterparts.

CottonSock · 05/09/2019 13:03

I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I agree you are looking to be offended

Wingedharpy · 05/09/2019 13:05

Did she want to play rugby too?

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 05/09/2019 13:07

It does seem strange

Nothing to stop them offering rugby or tag rugby to the girls

Might not have a had the takeup but that wouldn't be down to the school

WhyBirdStop · 05/09/2019 13:09

Would you rather she was made to just run laps of the school grounds? It's what my school used to make us do when they hadn't organized anything at the start of term or the gym roof was leaking again. Most boys will be continuing at the school so their sport continues and the odd new boy joins in. With the girls surely it's better to check numbers and see where the interest is (team sports, swimming, athletics etc) before fixing everything in place. One week to do the above isn't asking for a lot really.

Seeline · 05/09/2019 13:16

Did the 6th form take girls last year? If so, I assume they did PE. They will probably be in place for next week. If not, that is the time to make polite enquiries, although really it should be your DD doing that....

I agree, it is more likely that rugby fixtures have probably been set up for this weekend and they need to pick teams, and have a proper training session. The season is short!
There is probably not the same time pressure on the girls' sports.

Were all the boys doing rugby, or are other sports on offer and did they take place?

IncrediblySadToo · 05/09/2019 13:16

Dc(13)Y9 new School this week, mostly boarding (she’s not) higher ratio of boys

Wedsnesday afternoon sport. All the bits she knows were playing something, mostly rugby.

She was not.

Dreadful isn’t it.

Except ALL the girls she knows were playing something too

So, was hers was not organised because she has a vagina or because there are far fewer of them doing her chosen activity?

FFS it’s the first few days, stop looking for problems!!

JacquesHammer · 05/09/2019 13:18

I agree, it is more likely that rugby fixtures have probably been set up for this weekend and they need to pick teams, and have a proper training session. The season is short!

A proper training session doesn’t need to exclude anyone, whether potential team members or not.

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 05/09/2019 13:19

Yes, she's signed up for Girls' Rugby.

I didn't mention in OP that Wednesday afternoon sport is compulsory, apologies. So the school would have known for a fortnight how many girls they needed to provide for.

OP posts:
Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 05/09/2019 13:21

Well there we go

If she is signed up for rugby I don’t understand why they couldn’t arrange it

roisinagusniamh · 05/09/2019 14:26

Let her sort it out. She's in the 6th Form not pre school!

Original poster
Getusedtoit · 05/09/2019 14:31

@roisinagusniamh you must've misread my post Hmm
Nowhere did I say I was sorting it.

I just have an opinion on it.

HthSmile

OP posts:
roisinagusniamh · 05/09/2019 14:34

OK.
But let your DD have her opinion too...step back and bit and let her settle in without negative comments from you.

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