To have a day off?

[OnTheBorderline]

I've just started a new year of my course and I'm in my second week. My anxiety is so bad that I have to get a taxi to college as being outside freaks me out sometimes. Since I got home today I've just sat and stared into space. I have issues with dissociation and I just feel I can't cope with tomorrow.

I feel guilty because I had terrible attendance last year and I promised myself this would be different.

I got an A last year despite my attendance and I wanted to make sure I get good grades this year not 'despite' my attendance if that makes sense, I just wanted to be better.

My mind is racing but it's also not doing anything at all. I feel so freaked out.

My next day at college would be Tuesday, I'm only there three days.

I have severe mental health problems and I hate myself for giving in to it.

I just want to know is it unreasonable to take a day off? I'm so tired but I feel guilty. Also thank you in advance.

Apologies for the lack of paragraphs I did put them in... Don't know where they went!

Its not unreasonable to have a day off. It's awful living with anxiety, I also suffer with it and have taken days off many a time in the past due to it. I don't know about you but it always made me feel so guilty having a day off and I was always so proud of myself after having gone to college/uni/work. Only you know what's best for you. Don't give yourself a hard time, be kind to yourself and try to challenge your anxieties as hard as I know that is. Have you had any help, like cbt or anything to help you build coping mechanisms? Good luck

Thank you for your reply. I don't really know what the point of this post was. Probably just looking for reassurance.

I have made it nearly two weeks I just feel really guilty about not being able to go tomorrow potentially.

I see three different mental health professionals about various things and have had cbt but it didn't really work for me. I am getting dialectical behaviour therapy soon. I think my anxiety is so mixed up with other things it's hard to treat.

My lecturers are very understanding I guess I have a habit of beating myself up.

Today it feels like nothing is real.

CBT helps with this. Taking the day off might be necessary in the short term but it's avoidance, not management, and therefore not a long term solution.

Sorry, didn't see your post!

@dudsville no worries, I know it's avoidance I guess there's a lot going on in my head and I struggle to cope. Cbt didn't help me because I wasn't properly diagnosed and now that i am, they say it's the wrong approach. It's a long battle and I'm fed up :(

So you had poor attendance and severe MH issues, yet last year you got an A grade.

Take a minute here to pat yourself on the back!! You got a good grade because you worked hard, you will have had to catch up time lost and all of that on top of struggling with your mh. So bloody well done.

Can you follow what you would have been doing at home tomorrow? Do you have access to the material online, that way you won't fall behind as that can be a vicious circle when you are anxious about it.

You have demonstrated that you managed despite having to take time off so don't beat yourself up about needing to look after your mental health, that is part of getting through the course, you are doing what works for you. Take the pressure off yourself

Thank you so much. I am proud of myself, I guess I just wanted to be more present this year. I appreciate your kind words. You're right I'm just looking after my mental health, I just wish that mental health issues didn't come with so much guilt.

By all means take a day off - but use it to see your GP and speak to them about getting some proper help.

Are you on any medication for your anxiety? If not, ask your GP about a prescription. If you are, ask about a change of dose. I also think CBT or counselling is something you should request.

@dollydaydream114 the OP is having DBT soon.

I just want to say well done for getting such good grades!
I suffer social anxiety and anxiety in general and over the years I've quit so many courses (which I regret so much as I had some fantastic opportunities) the last course I did I was determined to stick it out too the end no matter what - sometimes it meant I really physically couldn't go in, I just couldn't do it and be around people , but I stayed at home and did the work there and I managed to complete it.
If you need the day off for your own sanity take it, spend some of the day relaxing and trying to make your self feel good, do a bit of work and mentally prepare your self for the next time you have to go in.

Looking after yourself is not 'giving in to it'. If you had a headache would taking a painkiller be giving in to it? Nope, it's treating it. I get that it feels like avoidance but sometimes that's not always the worst thing. Especially as it's just short term.

Are you able to have your teacher/lecturer email you the lesson plans? That way you won't miss anything but can still work through the material without the added worry of falling behind.

Try to look at it as management rather than avoidance. You sound like you're doing amazing well x