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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said no to mil?

27 replies

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 12:25

V v minor issue!

At the weekend mil was at ours for dinner, a neighbour's son hit her car when he was reversing out of his mum's. V minor damage to door, couple of wee dings and a tiny scratch. It's a company car so they are sorting out fixing it. She phoned me to say that they'd been in touch asking for photos to assess the damage. It's pouring with rain so I said I'd pop down and do it for her later. 10 mins later she arrives at the for to get me to go out and take photos. It's still pouring with rain. I said I didn't think I'd get good photos of the damage in the rain, she told me to get my coat. I told her no, I want going out in the rain to take photos of her car and that I'd call down later and do it. She wasn't happy. Wibu???

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 12:27

Depends. Are you made of sugar?

Beesandcheese · 04/09/2019 12:27

No. She can put her big girl pants on and take her own photos. How strange to drive round to get someone else to do it.

BogglesGoggles · 04/09/2019 12:28

YANBU. She’s mad for even asking - not to mention not doing it herself!

WhatsMyPassword · 04/09/2019 12:28

Im lost . Why cant she take pictures of her own damage?

AllFourOfThem · 04/09/2019 12:28

Why did your MIL need you to be there to take the photos? If there was a genuine reason then YABU as she was there ready to get the pictures and it’s rains so much in the uk if you always avoid bad weather you don’t be able to do very much at all.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/09/2019 12:29

Why can't she take a photo herself? odd

FuzzyPuffling · 04/09/2019 12:29

Sounds like it is worrying he enough to want something done about it asap. Would it have killed you to take the photos - rain or no, it seems it would have helped her?

Windydaysuponus · 04/09/2019 12:29

Yanbu to say no to mil if you feel the answer needs to be no!!
More posters should!!. Lot less threads though!!
Grin

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 12:34

The damage is so minor you wouldn't see it in the rain! (I'm not made of sugar, not am I a witch!)

She could do it herself, she's just used to calling for help with everything (and can't work her bloody phone...)

OP posts:
MrBobLobLaw · 04/09/2019 12:34

I'm confused- was the car still parked outside yours? Surely you'll get better quality photos when the car isn't all wert from the rain anyway? I can see that she's anxious to get it all sorted but no reason for you all to get soaked and get bad photos because of the rain.

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/09/2019 12:36

I'm convinced that car hire companies have you pick up a wet car is so minor damage is hidden. If she wants a clear picture she needs a dry car.

Zakana · 04/09/2019 12:37

Just. Say. No to the fire breathing dragon 😂😂😂. I always do! (Didn’t when I was younger though and she made my life a misery).

Cryalot2 · 04/09/2019 12:40

Set her phone up for her and tell her to do it her self. Make an excuse and lock yourself in the loo with a mag for 10 mins .

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 12:43

I'm not getting involved with her phone!!! That's sils or neice's job! Looks like rain might be on for the day. I know she's worried about it and just wants to get it sorted, but there's no point in sending photos where you can't see the damage.

OP posts:
CleanAndPaidFor · 04/09/2019 13:13

I'm amazed that she has a job that comes with a company car, but not the wherewithal to work out how to use a phone to take a picture. Is she the Queen?

Windydaysuponus · 04/09/2019 13:13

Direct her to dh....
Every time.

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 13:15

The car that hit hers was a company car - she's retired.

OP posts:
imnotinthemood · 04/09/2019 13:21

If it's raining or not if someone told me to take the photos it would be no do it yourself.
If she wanted help you ask you don't demand. Tell her to do one .

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 13:44

No way would I tell her to "do one"!! Don't be ridiculous, she's my mil, I like her, I'm not going to fall out with her over a couple of photos! Happy to do it for her, when it's drier!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 13:54

OP- post this again and say it’s your sister or something.Grin

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 14:00

Bertrand - I don't understand why lots of people on MN think it's unreasonable to have a decent relationship with mil. But that's another hundred threads

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 04/09/2019 16:00

Once you start accepting responsibility for one thing before you know it she will be throwing more requests (demands) at you Before you know it you will be juggling her life also...

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2019 16:11

So never ever do a kind thing or a favour for anyone. Just in case. Right. Got it.

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/09/2019 16:32

Windy, after 25 years I think I've made my bed.... Anyway, photos done and uploaded.

OP posts:
imnotinthemood · 04/09/2019 18:04

So you didn't mind her demanding that you take pictures it's just that it was raining . She's obviously used to everyone running around after her .
I also have a great relationship with my mil but she would never ever demand I do something like that it would be asked for otherwise I'd said no .
People need to learn to ask not demand you do something. Perhaps you should remind her that .