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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU pregnant teachers and maternity leave.

116 replies

Screamscreamqueen · 04/09/2019 11:24

I’m a teacher at a secondary school. One of my colleagues is quite heavily pregnant and in 3 weeks time, she’ll be going on maternity leave.
That means that she’s returned to work after the summer to teach classes for only a few weeks before passing them onto other teachers.

Some other members of the department have been gossiping behind this woman’s back saying that she’s selfish and that she should’ve taken her maternity leave earlier to avoid teaching a new school year. They're saying it’s not fair on the kids that they’ve ‘been lumbered with a teacher who won’t even be around’.
They’re also saying that she’s being ‘grabby’ with her maternity leave without thinking of the disruption to her students and other staff members who’ll have to pick up where she’s left off.
Obviously she’s well within her rights to do what she’s doing.
However it’s causing so much tension and I don’t know what to do.
Do I tell the woman in question about what’s been said?

OP posts:
autumndreaming · 04/09/2019 11:25

No why would you tell her? What good would come of it? It would be shit stirring.

Nomoremilk · 04/09/2019 11:26

It would be bitchy to tell her, why would you do that?

Original poster
Screamscreamqueen · 04/09/2019 11:26

Ok I won’t tell her. What should I do instead?

OP posts:
BogglesGoggles · 04/09/2019 11:27

There’s not point in telling her now. To be honest I sure she’s well aware that it’s a shitty thing to do. It’s pretty obvious.

Bibijayne · 04/09/2019 11:27

No. But you could perhaps speak up to the gossipers and say they're being unfair and unkind.

AmIThough · 04/09/2019 11:28

Why not just say "stop being a twat - she's entitled to do whatever is best for her and her unborn baby, knobhead" to the people who are slating her?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 04/09/2019 11:28

No, don't tell her. What would be the point?

Tbh, it's a SMT problem and poor planning. I am a head of dept and have an identical situation with a male colleague planning on going off on shared parental leave very early in sprimg term. He will be here for about 2-3 w of classes before going off for 12w.

So I have assigned him non-teaching duties for that time and hired in cover.

MoederVanEen · 04/09/2019 11:29

It's the SLT team that are in the wrong here, why on earth didn't they just have her maternity cover person start from the beginning of the year and just use these few weeks as a handover period??

lovemenorca · 04/09/2019 11:29

Don’t tell her FGS!!! She’s heavily pregnant and this will upset her.

She’s been well within her rights to do as she’s done. However no escaping that it’s not been in best interest of the students

NoBaggyPants · 04/09/2019 11:30

Not sure how telling someone they're being talked about is bitchy when it's true. Surely the "bitches" are the ones gossiping about her?

Your colleague has a right to take maternity leave according to the law. If she is being treated detrimentally as a result (which can include gossiping and bullying) then that is discrimination.

I wouldn't tell her, but I'd keep a note of it in case they do start to directly bully her. I'd also point out to your colleagues that she's legally entitled to choose when she goes on maternity leave.

Vittoriosa · 04/09/2019 11:30

Agree with @Bibijayne - stick up for her and do not get involved in the bitching.

PotteringAlong · 04/09/2019 11:30

Don’t do anything. That’s an SLT problem. I went back for the first week of the autumn term with my second - I did admin for a week and made shed loads of resources for people!

Naijamama · 04/09/2019 11:30

Surely you do nothing, and get on with your job. Yes, it might have been better for her to not start for 3 weeks, but that's between her and her manager. Nothing to do with you, or other colleagues who are bitching about her.

Preggosaurus9 · 04/09/2019 11:30

Tell the colleagues to shut their pieholes, it's none of their business. Surely they have better things to think and talk about.

coffeeandgin26 · 04/09/2019 11:31

This was me a few years back. She has done absolutely nothing wrong and does not have to tailor her maternity leave to suit other people. It is the SLTs job to minimise the disruption and they are at fault, not her. I was put into a cover role, floating from class to class and doing small groups and things rather than start with a new class.

lavenderbluedilly · 04/09/2019 11:31

However it’s causing so much tension and I don’t know what to do.
Do I tell the woman in question about what’s been said?

No. If you stir the shit-pot, you have to prepare to lick the spoon. Don’t be that person. I would still privately judge though. One of my DCs’ teachers had 4 babies in a five year period - now that did cause disruption!

ShadyLady53 · 04/09/2019 11:34

This sort of thing happens all the time in schools, I’ve heard it all. People always have things to say about working mothers.

Don’t tell her - what would it achieve?

If you have a problem with it, deal with the people making their mouths go and tell them to shut up.

Teachers do often plan Maternity Leave or pregnancy to maximise the use of school holidays etc. I’ve heard people slag off HODs for coming back off maternity leave and getting pregnant again straight away - “How DARE she get to keep her TRLs! She’s not even going to have been here for the best part of 2 and a half years!” I know two women who went back for the last three days of the summer term after having babies and got paid over the summer which led to other teachers being infuriated.

It’s all just pathetic.

NearlyGranny · 04/09/2019 11:36

No, you don't approach her, I think, but you do challenge the unreasonable, unpleasant colleagues at the point of that kind of talk if they do it within your hearing.

Think of the men who go quiet and tolerate misogynistic 'locker room' talk from other men and those prepared to challenge it. Who has your respect?

Speak up and challenge it, then report to HR if it doesn't stop. That's how work cultures are changed.

Those

viques · 04/09/2019 11:38

She is quite within her rights. I used to tell teachers due in autumn to crawl into school for a few days in September before starting their maternity leave.

A sensible senior management team would have already sorted out work for her that did not involve teaching allocated classes, she could be doing cover work for example. It is remiss of them to have timetabled her so that another teacher has to take over so early n the year when she does go on maternity leave . They should have sorted cover from the beginning of term , suppose she had decided not to return in September in the last week of August, they would then have been scrabbling for a warm body to put in front of the children.

Poor management decisions, and her colleagues sound very unpleasant, I wonder if she will bother to return to the school next year. I think I would be looking for another post rather than work with such mean minded people.

Tableclothing · 04/09/2019 11:39

What on earth would you be trying to achieve by telling her???

Tell your colleagues to pack it in.

GroggyLegs · 04/09/2019 11:39

Why did you even consider raising this with her?

She wants to save her three weeks off to spend at the end with her baby, rather than sitting about doing FA - just like 90% of first time parents probably do.

And in answer to what should you do:
Beware backstabbing vipers, that's what. You never know who they're coming for next.

Moominfan · 04/09/2019 11:42

What a horrible working environment. I wouldn't say anything to her. The ones bitching are the problem. People have babies, they pay into the system to receive maternity pay. Kids aren't going to be traumatised over a chance of teacher.

AccioCats · 04/09/2019 11:42

She’s absolutely within her rights, though I can see that this is the sort of thing that’s a headache and financial issue for SLT and the governors. Best solution would have been to put the women on non teaching duties for the start of term, so the cover person could teach from the get go. Much more consistency for the kids but of course a financial hit for the school to be paying two people simultaneously for one post.

A very common thing I’ve noticed in recent years of teaching is for the woman to return after ML a week before the summer hols- again, perfectly within their rights, but they’d be very naive not to think there would be a few raised eyebrows. We had one teacher who had 3 MLs in rapid succession, and after the last one, returned just long enough to avoid paying back any enhanced maternity pay, and then handed in her resignation! Again, within her rights but people saw her as a piss taker because she basically spent most of 3 years not working, but during that entire period the school could not appoint a permanent replacement. There’s no doubt about it: if a school can only offer temporary positions then they’re not going to get the best pool of applicants, so ultimately the children get a less good deal.

I sometimes wonder when people complain about UK maternity legislation not being good enough, Have they really thought through how generous it actually is, and the impact of a whole year out of the workplace in certain professions?

Having said all this, in your situation OP it’s not up to you to say anything and it would be simply shit stirring.

AccioCats · 04/09/2019 11:43

wouldnt be

Idontwanttotalk · 04/09/2019 11:44

@Screamscreamqueen

"Ok I won’t tell her. What should I do instead?"
Get on with teaching the children and keep your own counsel. To even consider telling your friend of this gossip (which would very likely upset her when she isn't in a position to do anything about it) doesn't show good judgement on your part.

If you don't naturally know how silly that would be then I worry that you are teaching impressionable secondary school children.

If the school were advised this teacher would be going on maternity leave 3 weeks after the start of term, then they could have planned for it better. It isn't good to swap teachers but I suppose it is sometimes unavoidable.