How to be more zen?

[justheretostalk]

Are you zen? I kind of feel like I’m a naturally grumpy person. My kids wind me up, know exactly which buttons to push, are argumentative, and we seem to be in a perpetual cycle of yelling and rudeness.

I’ve decided to be more calm, and just not engage, be more zen, if you will. But how do I do this? DD was trying to pick a fight this morning, I didn’t engage. I said something along the lines of “okay darling”, and she went bananas for calling her darling.

I’m not an overly maternal person and feel bloody well out of my depth in this parenting gig. I just want a calm and happy household.

So do y’all meditate? Permanently drunk? Ditch the kids to sit at a spa all day? What’s the secret? Kind of hoping if I’m more zen, the kids will be more zen!

Pick your lines in the sand and stick to them. Don't dig in unless it's a hill you are prepared to die on, so to speak. But when you say something, always mean it. If you give a threat, follow through if you have to. Do not make threats you are unwilling to carry out.

If you are opposed to a suggestion initially but not enough for it to be a line in the sand, ask them to convince you. If they fail to, it's ok to say no, but they can feel heard. Once you've said no, never budge.

To summarise, say no only when you really mean it.