This is my first post - sorry it's a long story
So my younger sister has been living with us for about a year and a half. She moved not long after I lost my firstborn daughter to stillbirth. I can't exactly remember the circumstances but I believe DH went along with it because he wanted someone who could keep me company sometimes and look after me. In return she gets to live in an area close to her work and uni in a well-maintained home.
She moved straight from a dysfunctional unhappy home living with my parents, aunt and two siblings. My gripe is that it's been a year and a half, I have since given birth to another child who is now 7 weeks. I am starting to resent my sister's presence in the house.
She has started paying us nominal amount as board but I feel like she treats DH and me as room mates or alternatively as parents. For example she would often sit around with us in the evenings after DH gets home from work. DH jokes that she is the "third wheel" and hints that we need time together as a couple until she leaves.
She has a habit of sitting really close to me and doesn't seem to understand I need a little space. She will park herself in my home office when I'm trying to work without realising that I need to be alone.
Every time I ask her to do things around the house I feel like she thinks she's doing me a favour and will say that she is very busy with uni and work and doing her bit around the house is way down on her priority list. It's always an awkward conversation which isn't helped by my feelings of extreme guilt that I should do everything for her (I've been conditioned by my parents to act as the surrogate mother to their many children).
It's only recently that I've realised that I didn't need to have her dinner ready every evening and that it was okay to expect her to cook for herself. I even paid for her driving lessons for some time but had to stop because I can no longer afford that.
She has no solid plan to leave and mentions vague plans about how she will go on exchange in the next two years.
She does do stuff around the house now and then and has been a great help with the baby but honestly my feeling is that I'd prefer to have our little home with just my little family. I'm really grateful to have had her and for the things she does but sometimes I'm just angry seeing her potter around in our tiny home - it just makes me extremely claustrophobic. DH feels the same way but like me feels responsible for her.
For now I'm working through this by making a list of chores I expect her to do in her own time once a week but if she left I'm not sure I'd miss her that much. I feel so much more protective of my family unit now and I just don't have any energy to devote to looking after my family anymore. AIBU?