To ask you all to teach me how to cook?

[HelpICantCook]

To my shame, I've got to 40, and I really can't cook.

I've got a few recipes that I'm ok at (macaroni cheese, tuna pasta bake, spaghetti Bol, various pasta and sauces), but in general I'm crap. I have no inspiration as to what to cook, and most of my stuff ends up fairly tasteless.

(If you are wondering how on earth I've got to this age without being able to cook, I have had eating disorders from my teens and throughout my 20s and 30s, and I don't get a lot of enjoyment from food. Still now, even though my eating is much better, I calorie count everything, because it's impossible to forget how many calories are in things once you know, and I find eating and cooking quite stressful)

However, I am quite ashamed not to be able to cook properly, and I've got 2 kids who I'd like to try and be a bit more creative and inventive for. I've also started a new business thing which may require me to cook for families on occasion, and the thought of that fills me with utter dread.

So, can you help? Easy recipe ideas? Where do I start? DS1 would eat pasta for every meal if he could, so ideas with pasta would be a good start.

Thank you!

I started by watching How to Cook by Delia Smith. She literally teaches you everything and all of the episodes are on YouTube ☺️

Another here suggesting JO Ministry of Food book. I’ve had the book for about 10 years since ds1 was born and I wanted to learn to cook “properly”. I still refer back to it for recipes.

Ds1 (10 years old) and ds2 (nearly 9) are now both using it with success to make their weekly family meal.

PleaseSirMyGoat my DP is also an excellent cook, and he enjoys it, so win win! Unfortunately he also works away a lot, so I need to sort myself out and improve my own skills too!

Right, with so many recommendations for the ministry of food book, I’m going to order that today. Thanks!

I learned to cook watching, 'ready steady cook'.

I could do the basics before then and follow a recipe but I learned some interesting tips.

Don't be scared of shortcuts, I use ready rolled pastry and tins.

Lots of cook in sauce or tinned curry sauces have recipes on them.

You could start with a packet of frozen veg and a can of curry sauce, put both in the same pan and heat and then start adding other ingredients /spices etc and then work up to the point you are making curry from scratch.

This is easy
I add mushrooms with the other veg and a stock cube. Take the bay leaves out before eating!
https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/beef-recipes/beef-and-ale-stew/#

Delia Smith taught me how to cook (not in person, via her “Complete Cookery Course” book which contains lots of stuff on the basics, eg how to cook roast potatoes, make sauces etc, and lots of straightforward recipes for starters, mains, puddings, cakes, biscuits etc).

Personally, I’m not a fan of JO, although we only have one of his books (the 5 ingredients one) but as the recipes have not been very successful I’m not inclined to try any of his others.

The BBC Good Food recipe books are good too. I have “Simple Suppers”, “Cheap Eats” and “The Best ever Chicken Recipes” from this range, all of which I use a lot.

I don't want to sound harsh but if you can read you can cook

Yup. Literally this.

No one is saying you should dive straight into difficult technical cooking, but it's as simple as being able to read an instruction and follow it.

As you do more, you'll find you become more proficient. You'll chop things faster, you'll pick up the easy way to do things, but to cook, you simply need to follow a recipe, in the same way you'd assemble anything else with instructions.

Yes you'll burn stuff. Yes you'll have mishaps, it still happens to the most experienced cooks, but just get on and try it. I recommend BBC good food for you, as at the bottom of each recipe are loads of comments from people who've made the recipe and have helpful tips, for example "needs an extra ten minutes in the oven." You can also select "basic" as your level of cooking ability and it will filter out the easiest recipes for you to start with.

Good luck, cooking is fab xx

BBC good food is great.
Also seasoning. You need more s&p than you think! Just keep tasting as you go along, if it tastes of nothing season a little and taste again

Choose (or get the kids to choose) 2 or 3 (or more) ingredients, type then into Google with the word 'easy' and a bunch of recipes will pop up. You can then choose which one to make.
Alternatively, have a look at the Allrecipes website - they have pictures and very easy to follow instructions.
Another idea is to invest in a slow cooker - you can do some lovely complicated meals, but also just chuck in some meat, veg and a jar of sauce, then leave for 4-10 hours depending on the meat. Facebook has some great groups.
Good luck!

I wouldn't have recommended JO, as his style of cooking is shit (full stop) for beginners.

Delia is your best bet. But that is moot now.

As your DP is a good cook. Can you have family cooking sessions every couple of weeks?

Get the kids to choose something they like from the new book and all cook it together with the help of DP.

Gousto and Hello Fresh are great ways to start expanding your repertoire. They provide everything you need plus step by step guides - when I've got weeks at work where I'm manic I order a box and the teenager makes supper using them as it's a foolproof way to make sure everyone eats proper food.

The best recipe books I own are Jamie Oliver's Veg and his 5 ingredients ones. Simple food that's relatively healthy, fast and no fuss. For a beginner I'd start there.

Also, don't beat yourself up and stop cooking when you have mishaps. I love cooking and run a cookery club at my school but still managed to put perfume into mashed potatoes a while back. It's human nature, just keep trying new stuff and you'll find your path.

YouTube videos are great. Even my son can use them and he's seven! I supervise of course and do the majority of the chopping but he does all the cooking himself. If he can do it anyone can.

Depending on what I fancy I find a lot of Jamie Oliver's first stuff from his "Naked chef" days is best. The more famous he got the sillier his recipes got. His so called "simple everyday store cupboard staples" I would struggle to find anywhere in a 50 mile radius and no one has ever heard of them.

My tip is to get a food processor. Makes things like grating courgette and carrots for dishes really easy, and mine has a slicer for aubergine, potato and other veg. It does loads of amazing things and really takes the chore out of preparing veg and pestos and loads of things.

I make courgette orzo (BBC good food) book and I grate 2 onions, 2 courgettes, 2 garlic cloves in the processor and then chuck it in a pan with orzo and white wine. Chuck breadcrumbs over and its sorted. Massive hit with everyone and would never faff around chopping and grating. Chuck it in the dishwasher after. Sorted.

Makes me cook at home so much more.

I love cooking because I like eating nice things and making people happy. I understand why you’re struggling a bit with this, I often feel overwhelmed by too many recipes!

I think the Jamie books are a very good place to start, I regularly make things from 30 minutes book as it gives you the plan for the whole meal - main, sides and dessert, so you don’t have to think about what to make with what.

And don’t forget everyone has disasters when they’re learning, I still do now to be honest. Not every recipe works, some are terrible.

Keep it simple, get everything ready before you begin, and read the recipe twice before you start.
Enjoy!

When my granddaughter went to uni I bought her a cookery book designed for students. She could cook basics but really enjoyed trying other stuff out.

perhaps you may finding watching videos on youtube helpful?

I don't want to sound harsh but if you can read you can cook. Recipes literally tell you what to do
This! Seriously, I can't cook without a recipe in front of my face. With an easy recipe though, you can't go wrong!
Toad in the hole, spaghetti bolognese, risotto, all easy if you just follow the instructions
(Must admit though I get offput by long lists of ingredients, needs to be simple, but dead easy once you get going!

If you like tomatoes, I'd suggest experimenting with making a basic sauce from tinned tomatoes. Add salt, pepper, garlic and maybe a little paprika or chilli. This can be adapted to form the basis of so many dishes; pasta, curries, fajitas, pizza sauce even soups! They're relatively inexpensive too, so if you do have a disaster you've not wasted a lot of money. I tend to keep garlic puree, chilli puree and tomato puree in my cupboard/fridge at all times, so if I'm wanting a quick meal I can throw together a tasty tomato sauce without too much effort.

Thanks all for giving me the confidence to at least try to just follow a recipe and go for it!

Tonight I cooked salmon and cream cheese in filo pastry. One child declared it inedible. The other decided it tasted better with a mountain of tomato ketchup on it. I thought it was ok!

That's part of the problem. I have one DS with ASD, so he doesn't like new things. And one who doesn't eat vegetables. It doesn't make it easy to find a recipe to try that everyone might actually eat...

OP please don’t be ashamed. You’ve overcome so much and you sound lovely! What about one pot recipes, basically you just chuck everything in rather than having lots of different elements to think about. There is also a child friendly recipe book called little dish, where the kids can get involved and the recipes are suitable for adults and children. Good luck with your new job 💐

Gousto is great - I tried it purely cause of the starting discount but have continued every week for well over a year now. Really good food, lots of variety and easy to cook. Plus you don’t have to think about ingredients etc when shopping, so I find it saves me time too.

I started with a beginners cook book- 1001 beginners recipes, I think - and a couple of recipes I learnt off my mum. Does your DP have a couple really simple recipes that you could learn by cooking together? The bonus with cook books aimed at beginners is that they usually have very good glossaries of terms and method lists. Always keep your beginner book! After that, I think I dipped in & out of a complete Delia How to Cook and a Mary Berry Every Day Favourites. Relatively simple, well explained recipes to get you feeling good.

My biggest tip is just to believe that you can and will be a good cook. It's also ok if you're not an improviser. A friend of mine is great at making up a recipe. I can kind of do it but she's great at putting things together ... but on the flip side, I'm more confident at following more complex recipes and trying new techniques and upping my level.

Top tip. Give up on finding a meal where everyone likes all of it give up now and put that thought out of your mind for ever.

I found recipe books useless until I'd watched enough cookery tv or youtube videos. Things like what does diced actually mean, how hot should a pan be and how do I know if it's hot enough etc.

Another vote for JO here. He demystified cooking for me. Also check out Miguel Barclay one pound meals. Recipes are usually simple with basic ingredients and his videos are really straight forward too. Don't be afraid to re watch 3 or 4 times til you feel you've understood it enough to try it. That's why youtube is so useful, short and can rewatch infinitely!