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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trying to help 16 year old to be more positive.

2 replies

positiveposy · 03/09/2019 22:58

Since I moved back to the area/my niece turned 16 she's spent a lot of her time/majority of summer at mine and i'm the one she turns to with the majority of her problems which I feel quite honoured.

Like a lot of 16 year olds she feels the whole world is against her. I've been fairly supportive of her but now i'm not sure what I should do.

  • She quit NCS in the first week and asked me to fetch her from the middle of nowhere as she didn't like anyone on it/'it was soooo shit'.

-She's quit her 6(th) job as the manager was 'Soooo shit'.

-She hates everyone from her old school but is actually quite popular/lots of followers/big friendship group/active social life from her old school.

-She moans so much about her best friends I do wonder if she actually likes anyone.

-She couldn't make up her mind what she wanted to do post GCSE but finally found a college course. After day one she wants to quit as she said there's already a cliche and she already knows (and dislikes) the other girls.

I'm at my wits end. I love her to pieces and she's a really great girl. I feel like i've tried having every conversation; try to keep your head down, keep at things as nothing is going to be perfect, life isn't fair, getting a job and working at minimum wage isn't going to be fun when you're living independently. We've had countless conversations on what her passions are which apparently nothing. She's been to quite a few careers advisors/we've looked extensively online at options but nothing. I've even took to bribery of a mobile phone contract if she sticks to education/something but nada.

She has lived with her dad since she was little but she decided to move in here/kind of just moved in which everyone is supportive of due to various reasons therefore I feel her wellbeing is my responsibility.

She talks about the future positively and has some goals but lacks the drive/motivation to do anything. Is there any books I can get her for looking more on the bright side of life/general positivity.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 04/09/2019 01:38

Does she actually socialise? Is she meeting up with her mates? Maybe she is depressed.

GibbonLover · 04/09/2019 02:12

I do think 16 is far too young to decide what you want to do with your life but at the same time, she really does seem to need the proverbial kick up the arse. Unless, of course, she is depressed or even physically unwell/low in vitamins/hormonal. May I ask what the situation with her mother is and why she now lives with you? Sorry if you think I'm prying.

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