Is there such a thing as "too much" routine?

[1stmonkey]

Quick background, dh and i both work, him full time (away mon-fri), me 4 days over 5. Obvs with this set up i do most of the housework, life admin, childcare for dd (8yesrs old) etc, he does what he can and that works fine for us. We try and keep weekends for family time, seeing friends etc.
Now that school is starting again i'm keen to get dd into a routine for regular reading, homework, spellings etc so it doesn't become a chore and she doesn't feel she spends her whole weekend thinking about it. We tend to get home around 5pm after clubs, playdates etc during the week but i'm thinking about setting a 30 minute "knuckle down" session before dinner each weeknight to read, practice handwriting/spellings. Hopefully means we can limit actual home work to an hour over the weekend. Curious about how others handle this? Want to support dd and encourage her but already know she's going to resist. Am i being too anal about making this part of our daily routine?

This sounds quite full on to me. Does she have that much homework at primary? Mine certainly don't/didn't.

I find reading easiest at bedtime. Depending on age, just reading to your child, or reading one sentence you, one child or something like that. My DS often reads the first page and I finish the chapter. That way the focus is on sharing a story, which is what reading is all about.
Spellings we always did at breakfast. Our school has stopped setting them for homework now. Kids do them every day at settling in time.
Other than that, we don't have any, apart from the odd project. What does your daughter have to do?

Maybe she gets a lot? I never thought it was excessive though. Each fortnight she gets 2 a4 sheets, usually some maths, creative writing, something artistic and something project based. Add to that weekly spellings, and school recommends 10 mins of children reading daily (i always read to her at bedtime anyway but don't see that it counts). That was in year 3 and we've been warned to expect more in year 4. The handwriting thing is "new" because last report picked it up as a thing she could work to improve.
Unfortunately because of my work she's at breakfast club everyday so mornings aren't really an option for us.
Like i say, i never thought to consider if it was too much. It's just our "normal"?

Thank goodness my eight year olds never got that much homework. Just reading every night, which we both love to do just before bed, isn't a chore. Maybe about ten mins maths/spelling once a week.

I think it's good to get stuff done mostly on days when you're already busy so you can relax properly on days off.

Maybe combine the routine with the promise once a month you will all spend the entire day doing whatever they decide. I read an article recently about this and it seemed a great way to incorporate autonomy for children.

Thanks for suggestions, she's only child so gets to choose a fair amount but def a nice idea

Sounds ok to my. My dd does her reading, spelling and martial arts practice in the morning before school, then instrument practice (2 instruments) after she gets home at 5:30.

Means the weekends can be spent doing what she feels like at the time.

I don’t think 30mins before dinner Mon-Thur is excessive personally. You won’t do it on a Fri surely? Or maybe just reading. Ditto Sat then if there’s a need she can do a bit on Sun afternoon/before dinner.

My dc were set homework on Fri to hand in on the Thur so we’d do all the written stuff at the weekend then a quick go over spellings and reading on weeknights.

Start as you mean to go on. It’s easier to loosen the rules re homework than have to tighten them in my experience!

At only 8 it might be better to make things fun, the language of "knuckle down" isn't helpful. Instead how about reading a fun book to you at night before you read, writing a weekly letter to dad and one to grandparents or a diary, doing the art together so you make something too, a trip out for the project to the museum / park / library etc. Your child can't love learning when you make it a chore, so make it fun.

You won’t do it on a Fri surely?

Def not, fridays are park, pizza and movie under a duvet!! Or some variation of... i do think she gets a fair amount of chill out time so just trying to find a way to limit the "work" feelings about homework.

@MRex LOVE the idea of a letter to dad, that's brilliant. We facetime a couple of times every evening when he's away but that's such a lovely idea!!

I think at 8 gettibg in at 5.30 and having to "knuckle down" is excessive. Thats already a really long day for a child and they need to be able to switch off and have child directed time. At school they have to do what they are told all day and if her whole day is regimented I think thats unhealthy personally.

Im surprised at 30mins a day at that age too - Id speak to the school to see if that really is the expectation as in my experience that would be unusual.

My kids read in bed daily but theyd do that anyway. Have a maths and an english sheet which can be done once a week in less than an hour - so could perhaps have a night thats homework night (some at our school go to homework club for an hour and do it there)

Projects we do in one go at a weekend - aftermoon making X or one evening once we have materials.

I think every day isnt right at all and possibly worth telling the teacher if its taking so long as maybe soemthing else needs to be set.

That’s not excessive and it’s goid to have a routine so they know what’s expected & just get on with it. Half an hour after before dinner sounds fine (I liked it all done before dinner so then after dinner is free time for everyone).

Keep her reading to you - that’s difficult to get them to start doing if you stop reading to them is good too, but not the same

Them Reading to you is generally better done earlier rather than having to do it when they’re tired at bedtime.

That’s probably around what we did.
10 min reading everyday plus 10 mins for spellings of the week.so that’s about 20 mins a day.

Sounds about right.

The only thing I would putt there is a little bit of flexibility for the days dc is tired/after school activity or play date has gone longer than planned/ day has already been full on.

Oh btw, what worked really well for us is to do a lot of the homework BEFORE school rather than after as both dcs were just too tired//had enough.
Less grumbles on their side and more efficient too.

It sounds good and logical to me

Obviously you’re trying to help her with her writing as it was ‘something she could work on’ while others will just let them do the bare minimum then declare half an hour too much. Your child’s education is important to you, so don’t be put off.

My DD is 7 (turning 8 this academic year). They get maximum 30 minutes homework per week and it's not allowed to be set over the weekend.

I'd say 30 minutes is too much. I'd sim for 10 max. E.g. go over spellings 10 mins then discuss how to use them in a sentence whilst you eat. Read a book 10 mins then talk about it whilst you eat etc.

Depends if you think you can get her to go along with it without a fight. I see the value of getting things out the way so she can relax after dinner, but if she is tired, crotchety and hungry and its likely to lead to a row on a regular basis then I wouldn't do it.

You said it will be a battle and she will resist - id not make homework a battle and let her choose a night she will do it and work on it then. Having 10mins quiet reading before dinner curled up somewhere if before bed doesnt work for you feels v different to having 30minutes "knuckling down."