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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset?

36 replies

Troubledee · 03/09/2019 20:02

Dp and I were mucking about texting each other (we don’t live together) and we were texting silly things and I asked him if he hoped we would be together til we’re old and he text back - I think so. Wtf?!

OP posts:
Lockheart · 03/09/2019 20:04

YABU.

Bloodycats · 03/09/2019 20:04

Well, it’s a logical answer but not very romantic.
If he is generally a good dp I wouldn’t get too upset.

Original poster
Troubledee · 03/09/2019 20:04

Lockheart, do you think I’m being over sensitive?

OP posts:
Original poster
Troubledee · 03/09/2019 20:06

BLoodycats, he’s not romantic at all! I hope we’re together forever because I love him. Feel sad he doesn’t. Sounds really silly and juvenile when I write it like this.

OP posts:
Bloodycats · 03/09/2019 20:06

It reminds me of the time I asked my dh ( pre marriage) if I was the most beautiful woman ever, he turned and looked at me like I was insane and said he could name 100’s of women that are more beautiful than me. My face Angry
He’s since learnt to always say the soppy answer and I’ve learnt not to ask silly questions.

LL83 · 03/09/2019 20:08

Were you being totally serious? Have you been together long?

I dont think it is a bad answer. If he had said yes you might have felt it was too much?

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/09/2019 20:08

I think so isn’t the same as no.

You could have a proper face to face discussion to see whether your hopes and priorities match up.

LemonAddict · 03/09/2019 20:08

“I think so” - it’s a bit of a lukewarm ‘meh’ answer.

Original poster
Troubledee · 03/09/2019 20:09

Oh bloodycat I would’ve been upset at that too! I know he loves me but he’s also logical and so bloody unromantic! Love him all the same.

OP posts:
Kungfupanda67 · 03/09/2019 20:09

@Bloodycats 😂😂 sounds like my husband

I now wait for my 6 year old to tell me I look nice when I’m going out. If I ask my husband I get a ‘yeah you look alright’ 🙄🤦‍♀️

Original poster
Troubledee · 03/09/2019 20:13

Men are so silly! He tells me he loves me so why doesn’t he want to grow old with me Sad

OP posts:
CrispMornings · 03/09/2019 20:13

DH looked at me between dc when I was 37 and said "you're starting to go around the eyes". He lived to tell the tale. I looked after him when he had his piles done. He now thinks I'm the most beautiful nearly 60 year old in the World Grin

iklboo · 03/09/2019 20:14

He didn't say he didn't want to grow old with you though.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/09/2019 20:15

I actually think it's a good answer. It's honest and sounds like he's thought about it. Much better than 'of course darling' without any feeling/thought.

Lockheart · 03/09/2019 20:15

Honestly? You don't even live together yet, it's far too soon to declare you want to spend the rest of your lives together, with all the implications that entails (i.e. marriage / children etc).

mumwon · 03/09/2019 20:51

dh once told me when I was about 9 month pregnant (he was skinny) that we looked like a number 10! he survived (just) Grin

NoSauce · 03/09/2019 20:55

Is he very literal?

Naillig222 · 03/09/2019 20:56

I would take that as I don't 'hope' we'll be together, I think we will be together. In a good way.

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/09/2019 21:00

This is why you should never ask serious questions during silly conversations. Both of you were being "silly" when you asked the question. You took the answer seriously. He was still in "silly" mode and didn't realise he should consider his answer accordingly.

Mintlegs · 03/09/2019 21:02

Simple, because the vast majority are simple beings! They tend not to think ahead or too deep

LavaLamp5566 · 03/09/2019 21:25

@Troubledee how long have you been together? You asking him if he sees himself old and grey with you might just be putting him off

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2019 21:28

How long have you been together? Have you talked about marriage and being together long term?

Rachelover40 · 03/09/2019 21:29

You're being very unreasonable. He said he thinks so, what did you expect him to say - "I am certain we will" ?

I think it's quite nice that he thinks you will be together forever. Don't you think so too?

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2019 21:32

Asking rhe question op indicates you've not had that discussion nor are you at that stage in your relarionship. It looks like you were trying to get some commitment from him that is not yet given?

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2019 21:33

Simple, because the vast majority are simple beings! They tend not to think ahead or too deep

Can you imagine a man posting this sort of sexist bullshit about a woman.

On this men and women are no different. Let's stop the bs shall we?