To be completely fed up of my ‘d’ h

[EndGamer]

Been together nearly 12 years. Generally he is ok-ish we get on quite well. I’m finishing my MA whilst working nearly full time in a management level job but dh is the main breadwinner earning 3 times more than me.
Childcare, teacher meetings etc all me.
When crucial events occur he is MIA due to his work related anxiety- last 2 Christmas’, my assignment due dates, hospital appointments. now when I’m trying to finish my dissertation. He’ll suddenly be having a crisis at work that will take priority as ‘his job is very important’ he’s so stressed meanwhile I’m suffering complex ptsd and holding the fort whilst working, doing childcare and trying to study.

Been together nearly 12 years. Generally he is ok-ish we get on quite well
This is no basis for a marriage - leave and find someone who 'gets' you - you sound like you are describing a flatmate.. and a crap one at that.

I'd be very suspicious of his whereabouts for the past two christmases!

Aside from that he doesn't seem to be helping or supporting or giving anything positive to your marriage and family at all

He’s been here at Xmas but too stressed to really get involved last Xmas so stressed he was in bed most of bed 🤔

Do you think he might be doing it on purpose to sabotage your MA? It seems convenient that his 'crises' always seem to happen during exams etc.

Also, well done for juggling an MA with everything else you have going on. Is there anyone else you could ask to help out during deadlines so you don't have to rely on him?

My abusive exH would always disappear when my uni exams were coming up, leaving me caring for DC and trying to study. I'm quite lucky that I could just bypass him and ask my mum instead (and I eventually got my MA after leaving his selfish arse!!)

Is he too stressed to deal with the things he wants to do, hobbies and such?

What help is he receiving for his anxiety/stress?

I lived this life with my exH. I was actually relieved when he admitted he had been cheating on me and I could get rid.

Possible subconsciously but I wouldn’t have thought him capable of doing it on purpose? He was having hypnotherapy not/ doesn’t really have hobbies bar watching sports that unaffected?