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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for honest opinions of vbac after emcs.

117 replies

Rubberyduck · 03/09/2019 14:26

Crappy first birth, 4days long resulting in failed forceps and ecms. Me and DS then had septicemia so we had a 10day stint in Hosp. I am now expecting no.2. Mw said straight up 'you will want another csection then' we have a consultant appointment in a few weeks to discuss the choices. DH seems keen to have a elective c section as it would be 'easier' to plan around our 2year old obviously worrying we will have a similar long experience. I am concerned about recovering from surgery with 2 little one's.

Experiences please?

OP posts:
pooboobsleeprepeat · 03/09/2019 14:29

The best person to talk it through with would be the vbac midwife or head of midwives. Everyone else I found very biased.
I had a vbac after an emcs and have no regrets.

Ornery · 03/09/2019 14:36

My second vbac left dc3 with brain damage and cerebral palsy. Speak to your consultant in order to gain clarity. If you do decide to vbac, insist on cfm. I should have had a cs- hindsight is a wonderful thing. You and your team will have to weigh up the risks.

makingmammaries · 03/09/2019 14:38

I had a vbac after an emcs. I was worried about the risk of uterine rupture but was talked into vbac all the same. First vbac was fine but in all of my subsequent pregnancies I had dehiscence leading to elective CS.
With hindsight, I think vbac was inadvisable, and I’m pretty sure it’s preferred by medical providers because there is pressure on them to keep costs down, not because it reduces the risks overall - for you, it does, but for the baby it increases them significantly.

makingmammaries · 03/09/2019 14:38

Sorry, cross posted with Ornery.

Rubberyduck · 03/09/2019 14:40

@Ornery what is cfm? Sorry if I am being dim

OP posts:
makingmammaries · 03/09/2019 14:42

Continuous fetal monitoring

Rubberyduck · 03/09/2019 14:42

Oh OK thanks.

OP posts:
makingmammaries · 03/09/2019 14:42

And that is good advice. It’s how my impending rupture was spotted.

Justanothernameonthepage · 03/09/2019 14:48

I had a vbac and it did not go smoothly. Luckily both DD & I are ok and as I was in a consultant ward, when needed they had a full team there in seconds. If you do VBAC, see if they have a info course and please do it in hospital.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 03/09/2019 14:50

I had a vbac. It went well for us both

BunnyColvin · 03/09/2019 14:55

Would never have considered VBAC under any circs, despite being told it was a possibility. So glad I didn't now, and if I'd known then what I know now, I would've demanded an elective first time around.

Rubberyduck · 03/09/2019 14:56

Geez I am not feeling hopeful so far. I guess I don't want to not have had experienced a normal vaginal labour which is what I am beating myself up about. I feel like I failed DS1

OP posts:
Mrsducky88 · 03/09/2019 14:57

I’m in the same position as you, 2 year old DD and expecting baby in Feb. I keep thinking cs is easier to plan for childcare but recovery would be difficult with newborn and toddler- if I had family nearby or DH could take longer after paternity leave I would prob go for a csection. I had an ok labour with my DD apart from she turned to breach position so will probably try for a VBAC. I keep changing my mind though.

Feelingconfusedandunsure · 03/09/2019 15:05

I had a very traumatic first birth with my son leading to an emcs. When I got pregnant a couple of years later with my second they were trying to talk me into a vbac, I did my research but realised that mentally I couldn’t cope with another long and traumatic labour and birth which may end in emcs anyway. At my 18 week consultant appointment she was trying to give me vbac pamphlets and I told her “I want a section” she again tried to push the vbac leaflets on me, so I politely said “I will get this baby out with a bread knife if I have to I am not going through that again” she just laughed and said “no problem let’s book your date!” Grin

Honestly, when I got to the labour ward to be prepped and I was back in the room I had been in a couple of years previously it all came flooding back and I knew if i’d tried for a natural birth I would have gone into full blown panic mode, I was sooooo thankful I had made the decision to have a planned section.

The two section experiences literally couldn’t have been anymore different, the planned section was very relaxed, I got to hold and cuddle my baby first (this meant EVERYTHING!) and they even lowered the screen so I could see her actually being born (and no I couldn’t see any gore! I was awestuck it was so surreal) it was an amazing experience. I recovered really quickly, off painkillers after a few days and driving after a couple of weeks. With my first I had ended up with a severe infection, painkillers and antibiotics for a month and a severe case of the baby blues! Honestly it couldn’t have been a more different experience the second time around!

Take the experience you had to plan more effectively this time. I knew I needed to focus on rest to recover as quickly as possible. First born went to his grandparents for a few days (dad went back to have meals with him, took him home overnight, etc). I limited visitors to only parents at the hospital. I asked visitors to stay always for the first few days at home (except parents and siblings) and dad did the first two nights of feeds so I could catch up on all the sleep missed at hospital. I recovered really quickly thanks to this, and came off the meds as soon as I felt I could cope which made my head less fuzzy.

That’s just my experience, everyone is different so you have to work out what is best for you. Focus on the outcome not the birth, it’s just a means to an end anyway really anyway, focus on what you want from the experience. I really wanted to be the first one to hold the baby (I didn’t get to first time around) I discussed this with the midwife/surgeons etc before going in and they were so supportive, I literally had hold of her for maybe 20 mins while they were stitching me up (I was in such a rush of hormones I literally didn’t feel a thing after that point!), that coupled with actually seeing her born was a really healing experience after such a dreadful first birth. I was so glad I had that chance.

Focus on what you want to heal or feel and go with the best way to achieve that Flowers

Feelingconfusedandunsure · 03/09/2019 15:06

Wow sorry for the essay didn’t realise I had typed so much!!!

St0pTryingT0MakeFetchHappen · 03/09/2019 15:07

I don't want to not have had experienced a normal vaginal labour which is what I am beating myself up about. I feel like I failed DS1

You haven't failed them at all! No-one turns around to their mother and says "Well, you're a crap parent because I didn't come out of your foof."

sallysayssosillysausage · 03/09/2019 15:10

I guess I don't want to not have had experienced a normal vaginal labour which is what I am beating myself up about. I feel like I failed DS1

Stop. Just stop. Sorry I’m being direct but a pity party is no reason to put yourself and your unborn child at risk.

I’ve had an EMCS and then an ELCS. Could not have cared less that my vagina has not pushed a baby through it/out it. I have two healthy children and that’s all that matters.

Flowers
PumpkinP · 03/09/2019 15:12

I would never do one again! My mw was very pushy for a vbac, I was over due as I did with all 3 (this was baby number 4) so I had to be induced by a balloon, it was an awful experience one I wish to never go through again! Anyway it didn’t work and after several failed attempts by midwives to give me a “sweep” I had to have another emcs as it just wasn’t happening and I was 2 weeks over due. I personally wouldn’t try for one again (not that I’m having any more) but if I was I would want an elcs and just to add I was a single parent from birth of my youngest so had 4 to look after on my own after the csection and I found it fine (I didn’t have any help) it will be manageable if you have a partner and family/friends to help.

Feelingconfusedandunsure · 03/09/2019 15:12

@St0pTryingT0MakeFetchHappen Hahaha!!! ExactlyGrin

My kids are 4&7 now and love looking at my section scar, they ask to look at it from time to time and ask about their births and what it was like when they were “in mummy’s tummy” - not sure I could show them quite the same if they came out the ‘foof’ Hahaha lol Wink

chipsychopsy · 03/09/2019 15:13

What are your reasons for wanting a vaginal delivery? The feeling of disappointment at not pushing a baby out fades. In fact, my second section killed those feelings stone dead.

How will you feel if your VBAC fails?

What are the best and worst case scenarios (assuming you and baby are healthy) for both a VBAC and c section delivery? Write them down. For me, a VBAC provided the best and worst case scenario, and I didn't want to risk the worst case.

Was your previous birth ok? Or was it traumatic? If so, will being back in hospital, experiencing labour be triggering? Is a VBAC perhaps quite medicalised and not really the birth you would want anyway? Do you want more than three children?

These are the things I thought about before I made my decision.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 03/09/2019 15:13

I get the 'I failed first time round' feeling OP, I had that after my first and when I got pregnant again I was so determined to have VBAC to prove to myself that I could do it 'right'. I know know, of course, that there really is no right or wrong, just what happens at the time. My VBAC was relatively straightforward but my baby got stuck and shoulder dystocia was only narrowly avoided thanks to a wonderfully experienced midwife (and a massive tear for me, ouch!) My first birth was so traumatic, 3 full days of horrendous labour only to end in a section but looking back on it, I think a planned section is a good option and if I could do it again (I won't!) that's what I'd choose.

Best of luck Flowers

MsTSwift · 03/09/2019 15:15

No one gives a stuff about how you gave birth your attitude is bizarre and frankly dangerous. There aren’t medals awarded for vaginal births frankly both options are pretty shit but needs must.
I had a vbac after an emergency c section it was great went so well. Wasn’t planned just happened. First birth similar to yours second came out 6hrs start to finish. Don’t assume your births will be the same my were as if I were 2 different people, Good luck.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 03/09/2019 15:20

I had a fairly hideous experience with my first resulting in an EMCS followed by a VBAC with my second. No problems at all and the VBAC birth was a so much nicer, more relaxed experience, but that's just me. I've not experienced a ELCS so can't compare it with that.

Ornery · 03/09/2019 15:21

I had two ‘normal vaginal labours’. The first one left me with ptsd (back to back, failed internal rotation, in the end he basically clawed his way out and I spent 5 additional days in hospital having my undercarriage cared for) and the second left me with a brain damaged baby. After two vb, I still haven’t had the ‘normal vb’ you are hoping for.
The consultant who did my cs told me that none of the obstetrician’s wives give birth vaginally, in order to prevent the urinary incontinence that occurs with ageing. Not relevant for me as I vbac twice, but I thought it was interesting that the people at the business end had no intention of their loved ones taking their chances with vb, for both baby and long term maternal health reasons.

sweetmusic · 03/09/2019 15:21

Honestly it is a very personal choice and different women are going to have different opinions and experiences. Plus we don’t know your whole situation and what factors may effect how your birth goes.

Think carefully about the pros and cons of both. Also remember that it isn’t ‘ELCS vs normal vaginal birth’ when considering a vbac. A vbac could also easily equal an EMCS again or a complicated instrumental delivery.

Just try and seek out all the information so you can make an informed decision.