How to talk to a woman wearing headphones

[Vilanelle]

I have just come across this post on Twitter and was so pissed off by it and shocked, that I had to google and find the original article online to confirm it's not a wind up.

The part that particularly got my back up was point 4;

"When she looks at you, smile and point to her headphones and say, 'Take off your headphones for a minute' and pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands.

If she doesn’t understand (most women will), simply gesture that you want to talk to her by briefly pointing back and forth from you to her and say, “I want to talk to you for a minute"

fhdsfhgfsfgvcdfvhdvjdfv

AIBU to want to throttle the writer?

Proper bullshit written by a proper arsehole.

From a brief glance at the rest of his website he's very obviously a tacky PUA and very obviously a bellend.

I don't know him but I know I despise him. And he probably thinks that's a reflection of my failings as a woman, not his failings as a human being.

Urgh. In the original article there's a quote from a woman saying its a man's right to talk to me. Wtf?!

I find that stuff is an excellent way to filter out the people I don't want to talk to.

I'm not a violent person, but I might make an exception for accidentally hitting him with my headphones if he got too close.

women as validation stations part 1 million

Awful, entitled excuse for a human being. The only time I’d appreciate someone asking me to take my earphones out is if they’re pointing out that I’ve dropped something or missed a ‘wet paint’ sign. Other than that, it’s just not on.

However, trying to explain this to the sort of person who would take it seriously would be like trying to educate pork. Some people truly believe that their wish to talk to someone genuinely outweighs that person’s wish not to be talked to.

How home the vote is showing 104% Yanbu!!?

OK it says 100% now

If i'm wearing headphone it usually means fuck off and don't talk to me.

😂😂😂 why not just scream HEY in their face until they take headphones off. This article is annoying but try and see the funny side, and be grateful you (hopefully) don’t know anyone who thinks like this in real life!

Oy... I’d say a number of headphones-wearing women do so to avoid talking to men... myself included. I once got propositioned by a knobhead cyclist with a dumb grin who kept yelling out to me and motioning for me to take my headphones off while I was trying to jog. Turned my headphones up instead and kept running staring straight ahead. He kept lapping me like a bloody puppy trying to get my attention before finally yelling “Bitch!!!” at me as he hooned past. Modern man my ass.

I guess these sorts of idiots band together to discuss tactics because despite the fact they defy all logic they keep using them.

Good luck with any bloke who tries that with my autistic, feminist daughter!

Wish these men would crawl back under the rock they came from and stay there.

The ironic thing is that if these men incels were on the receiving end of this behaviour from men/women they don't fancy they'd be incandescent with rage. Creepy, entitled arseholes.

The advice is worded poorly, no good manners. Would it hurt to say “Can I trouble you for a moment, please?” So i can say yes or no.
Instead of
“I want to talk”. I’d be tempted to respond with “And I want a million pounds but neither is going to happen.” La la la (Headphones back on)

There is a presumption that you’re consenting when it should be a request to talk that you can accept or reject pleasantly & politely.

"little headphones"? FML...

Man: [Smile and say in a friendly, easy-going manner manner] Hey – how you doing? I was walking along and saw you with your little headphones on and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi you. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: Jessica.

Man: [Add in some light humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Jessica…let me guess. You were listening to heavy metal music, right?

Woman: [Most likely laughing and saying] No, I was listening to [most likely latest pop music]

@StCharlotte The “little” thing! YARRRGGGHH. Why is it so annoying?!

I had this happen. A guy who got the same bus as me who kept bugging me to talk to him, which escalated into him physically removing them from my head and telling me to stop being rude. I was terrified given this was 6am in a pitch black bus stop. So I chatted with him and probably seemed receptive because I was scared otherwise he might rape or murder me. I found this article a bit triggering to be honest and it is scary that some men will read this and think the man's behaviour above was acceptable

I know my daughters put headphones to avoid men speaking to them and would be pretty off some tool waving at them to take them off; how fuckin intrusive and entitled, no wonder these cretins are single.

How to talk to a woman with headphones on?

DON'T.

I know I'll likely be told to get a sense of humour but I don't see the funny side in a man thinking his wish to chat up a woman means he can go around telling them what to do and tell them to stop what they are doing because he wants to engage with them.

I had a man tell me to take my earphones out when I was in my early 20s travelling to work. Middle aged man with a wedding ring asking me to stop listening to my music as he was bored and wanted to chat. I paused my music and said I was listening to a lecture for a course (true) so he asked for my number and when I said no to that I was called an ignorant bitch and he moved seats.

Dd (15) has had a boy physically take hers off as she's travelled home on the bus because she shook her her head at his tapping and gesturing to remove them to chat with him. Three times she told him no and he removed them. She has way more confidence than me though and told him to return her property to fuck off and never put his hands on her again. A man on the bus told her off for swearing at the lad as he was just being friendly!

Friendly would be backing off when she shook her head the first time, Or even the second time, friendly isn't grabbing her ears to pull her earphones out to force her to chat to him. My daughter wasn't the rude one and the man should have maybe told the lad when a girl or woman says no, back the fuck off.

There are occasions when it's OK for a random man to approach a woman wearing headphones and mime taking them off so she understands his wish to speak to her. These would include such events as an approaching tsunami she hasn't noticed, a fire alarm she hasn't heard or a charging rhino she is blissfully unaware of. Other than that, the general recommendation for a man wanting to talk to a woman wearing headphones is simple: don't! If she wanted to talk to people she wouldn't be wearing them. She's busy listening to music or an absorbing podcast or audiobook or a lecture she recorded earlier. Back off and go about your business.

Did you notice the article included hints about the kind of simpering responses and sycophantic laughter the interrupted woman might be expected to display? And, to top it all, information about the kind of venue the man could seek out to buy coffee?! What planet are hey from?

And in those staged photos, pick-up man is standing waaaay too close for comfort for a first encounter. Creepy, rapey vibes coming off this like heat haze.

This just made me throw up in my mouth at little. 🤢🤮

Nearlygranny has got it right, though I would add things like trying to return the wallet she dropped.