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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to fully end the friendship?

14 replies

SoDoneWithHer · 03/09/2019 12:30

I’m in a group chat with my girlfriends and one them mentioned that another of our friends who isn’t in our chat group has split up with her boyfriend agains. For ease of reference we will call him Tom......There has been much eye rolling and a general lack of sympathy because she splits up with him on a regular basis yet still has him basically living with her, holidaying. She has DC....I would be able to forgive this but she’s on and off with this guy and in the breaks she’s on and off with another man, let’s call him Neil who is physically and mentally abusive towards her.....Neil gets similar treatment and each time they reconcile is allowed to stay overnight and holidays with her and the DC. It beggars belief why she lets these men back into her dc lives each time....it’s not right...

We’ve got a bet on as to whether Neil will come back on the scene....usual practise is that she will go off the radar for a few months....will lie to us all will then make up a cock and bill story that they bumped into each other and now they are loves young dream....

I don’t want to be part of her fucked to world....I don’t want to lied to by her and tbh I don’t really want to be friends with a woman who thinks that doing this to her kids is alright....

Aibu or am I just being an overly conservative busy body twat?

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/09/2019 12:34

Maybe she lies because you're judgy. eye rolling and lack of sympathy, she is clearly not a friend anyway so do her a favour and be done with it. We all have flaws, no one is perfect but my good friends, well I love them and try to be there for them when they need support. So yes you are being a busy body and you will probably miss the drama but yeah do her a favour and end the friendship.

NorthEndGal · 03/09/2019 12:35

Well you clearly don't consider her a friend, so just don't interact with her, or make plans, etc

MRex · 03/09/2019 12:36

It's better not to feel forced to keep in touch with anyone who annoys you that much.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 03/09/2019 12:36

She's not really your friend if she isn't included in the group chat is she? I don't blame you for wanting to keep your distance but the idea of you all discussing her behind her back in a group chat really isn't nice.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 03/09/2019 12:37

X posted with everyone else!

AryaStarkWolf · 03/09/2019 12:38

wow I think maybe she's better off without you tbh

BlueJava · 03/09/2019 12:41

To quote your OP, you are a busy body twat. I don't think it's anything to do with you!

Pitterpatterpettysteps · 03/09/2019 12:42

Wow, you sound so unpleasant!

Crystal87 · 03/09/2019 12:47

She's not doing anything to you personally though. Even though you don't agree with the things she's doing, she doesn't have to answer to you, she can live her life how she pleases.
If you don't want to be friends with her that's your choice, but then I don't think you and your friends have been real friends to her anyway.

snufflebuns · 03/09/2019 12:53

You sound nasty!!!

Sn0tnose · 03/09/2019 12:58

I think that bringing abusive men in and out of children’s lives is not on. You’re not being unreasonable for not wanting to be lied to or not have friendships with overly dramatic people.

Having said that, I think you’re being really spiteful and a crap friend bitching about her with your other friends and making bets about when the next boyfriend will appear. I don’t think I’d want to be friends with either of you. And I doubt she gives a shit about whether you’d be able to ‘forgive her’ or not.

You can’t take the moral high ground over her parenting skills and how truthful she is or isn’t being, all the time you’re behaving like a spiteful schoolgirl. Grow up and either have the courage of your convictions, end the friendship and tell her why, or mind your own business.

And good luck with your friends the next time you go through something difficult in your life, because you know that they’ll be saying the same things about you behind your back.

IhaveALooBrush · 03/09/2019 12:59

She probably keeps it quiet because she knows deep down how fucked up it is.
I'd steer clear. I've had friends like this and it gets to the point after you've picked up all their pieces AGAIN, that actually, you just can't be arsed anymore.
Walk away.

MorganKitten · 03/09/2019 13:04

You are not a real friend to her, you are judgy and rude about her. Why on earth you think it’s ok it gossip about her maybe offer support?

Armadilloboss · 03/09/2019 13:23

Wow! You are a really bad friend! In fact all of you are! Who needs enemies with friends like that?

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