Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with the NHS?

34 replies

EarlyBird123 · 03/09/2019 11:40

It’s my first pregnancy, and i am extremely anxious since I don’t know what to do and what is going on. I am 10 weeks now. I had an appointment with the midwife almost 2 weeks ago and she said that the hospital will be in touch with me to arrange the scan. I heard nothing so i rang them, and they have no record of me whatsoever. The midwife says she sent all the information to the hospital.

Am i being unreasonable to be upset with the whole situation, given the fact that my every interaction with the NHS is such a hard work?

I have a foreign surname, but i am a British citizen and i pay my taxes, for goodness sake.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 03/09/2019 11:44

You’re only ten weeks and have had your initial appointment. You’ve got plenty of time to arrange your dating scan. Have you contacted them to do so?

Your surname and tax status are irrelevant. Are you suggesting they’re discriminating against you because of your name?

Pregnancy can make you anxious but you’ve got a long way to go so try and relax a bit. You can feel annoyed there’s been a blip in the process but nothing terrible has happened.

AloeVeraLynn · 03/09/2019 11:45

Calm down... it can take time for everything to get into the system. You're not "late" for a scan at 10 weeks anyway. You've chased it up, now just be patient.

NoBaggyPants · 03/09/2019 11:45

Your reaction is disproportionate to the issue. For whatever reason, your referral has gone missing. No problem, ask the midwife to send it again (it's all done electronically). Your scan isn't due for another two weeks so no harm done.

Your last comment is irrelevant and verging on dickish. We all pay taxes.

Reallywanttomovenow · 03/09/2019 11:46

They are dealing with a lot of people and sometimes things slip through the net. You made the right decision by calling and checking at the hospital. I have had 3 babies and 2 pregnancies I got terrific care, but one pregnancy I got virtually no care.
Ad once in hospital we were waiting for hours and I noticed after 4 hours (i know because of the parking restrictions) the whole waiting room was full of new people so we asked hen we would be seen and apparently someone slipped my notes on the wrong pile so that added an extra 10 years to that visit.

But we do have excellent care and it is free (well it comes out of taxes but you know what I mean)

If you are not afraid to check and call up and ask then youll be fine.

healththrowawayx · 03/09/2019 11:47

I think being upset is an overreaction- in the grand scheme of things it’s minor. Your anxiety is blowing things out of proportion.

Wherearemycrayons · 03/09/2019 11:49

Wow. Just wow 🙄

Original poster
EarlyBird123 · 03/09/2019 11:50

Thank you for the reality check. Maybe i am over reacting, but i seem to be slipping through the net, every single time I am trying to get something done. So yes, i feel discriminated against.

If they said that it will take up to 4 weeks to arrange the scan, i would be waiting patiently. It’s just not what i was told.

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 03/09/2019 11:52

Unfortunately the NHS is what it is. And taxpayers' contribution isn't nearly enough because the NHS is a bottomless money pit and hopelessly underfunded, understaffed and generally under-resourced in every single department.

If you're worried, then you will have to go back to your midwife to ask her to chase it up.

AloeVeraLynn · 03/09/2019 11:53

Do you realise how many "foreign" sounding names the NHS staff see on a daily basis? Many many people born here have names originating from elsewhere. If they only processed the Smith's and Jones's they'd hardly be treating anyone. Its highly unlikely you are being discriminated against.

ELM8 · 03/09/2019 11:55

I don't actually think you've missed out on any care yet? I got my dating scan letter when I was 11+5 I think and the scan was at 13 weeks. Booking appointment was at 8 as well. You're only 10 weeks so there's plenty of time for it to be sorted..

I know it's a stressful time but I don't think the NHS has done anything for you to be disappointed with yet?

Nicknacky · 03/09/2019 11:56

For you, this pregnancy is the most important thing in your world right now (rightly so) but to the NHS you are basically just another patient. Sometimes things get missed or a mistake is made or whatever but it’s NOT discrimination.

Chill out or the next 30 weeks will be tougher than they need to be.

AmIThough · 03/09/2019 11:58

YABU but with your first pregnancy I understand it's a stressful time.

The NHS is not discriminating against you.

A Dr at the hospital referred me for a growth scan as a follow up. I'd heard nothing on the day the scan was due so called and they hadn't passed on the request to the relevant department. It happens. Your first scan can be any time up until 14 weeks.

If you're ever worried, just call your midwife.

gamerchick · 03/09/2019 12:00

OP you're only 10 weeks. I appreciate that you want to get things moving but nothings been 'done to you'.

You could always get a scan done yourself and pay for it if you're impatient. You need to chill a bit or its going to be a very long pregnancy.

Original poster
EarlyBird123 · 03/09/2019 12:00

Thank you. You are probably right and being way too dramatic.

OP posts:
MsSquiz · 03/09/2019 12:02

@EarlyBird123 what were you told, about when the hospital would be in touch?

Because the scan is usually around 12 weeks, so you aren't overdue.
You know when you are 12 weeks, so maybe give the hospital a call when you are 11 weeks if you still haven't heard from them.

I never received my letter for the appointment from the hospital for my 12 week scan - but I went in around 11 weeks due to a small bleed, and the nurse dealing with me mentioned she could see my appointment booked on the system - sometimes letters go awol in the post.

Can you imagine how many women they are processing each day? And that routine appointments as well as emergencies.

Try not to worry unless you get to 12 weeks and you still haven't heard, then all you need to do is give them a call again.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/09/2019 12:07

i seem to be slipping through the net, every single time I am trying to get something done.

Like what? I didn’t have my booking appointment till I was 11 weeks as I’d have previous losses and didn’t want to have it till as late as possible. Still had my scan at 12 weeks.

You’re not being discriminated against. You’re just not. Don’t add drama to a very minor irritation about a lost referral.

NoBaggyPants · 03/09/2019 12:08

So yes, i feel discriminated against.

Referrals go astray every day. There's no correlation between that and foreign sounding surnames. You're being ridiculous.

Original poster
EarlyBird123 · 03/09/2019 12:08

That i will hear from them within two weeks. I understand that I still have time for the scan. It’s the fact that had no record of me that worried me more.

Either way, i accept that i am being daft. I will try to chill.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 03/09/2019 12:10

Over reaction - you don't hear, just call and make the appointment - they have a lot of work on and too few people to make it work seamlessly all the time

I am thankful for the NHS they've done a lot for me and my family and friends

SnuggyBuggy · 03/09/2019 12:11

Scan departments deal with lots of urgent scans so they don't like to fill up the slots too far in advance just in case. It can be a bit of a drag for patients who prefer to plan ahead but it's how they are able to prioritise the most urgent cases.

mumwon · 03/09/2019 12:13

actually the NHS workers have an incredible variety of international names due to the number (thank God) who work for them & they are highly unlikely to pick you out for discrimination because of your name. Its much more likely that its a failure in the bureaucracy & sadly not enough staff - you did right to be proactive however & would always suggest that people check

MsSquiz · 03/09/2019 12:16

@EarlyBird123 I was told the same, but I think it's just a general "you'll hear in 2 weeks" the GPs/midwives have no idea of how backed up or busy the process may be.

And 2 weeks in early pregnancy does seem like forever!!

As I said, I would wait until you are around 11 weeks, and if you still haven't heard, give the antenatal ward a call.

I can almost guarantee that your foreign surname has zero effect on this as they probably haven't even looked at your notes yet! Your notes/referral letter will be in a pile amongst other piles, all in datal order, so that the people who hit 12 weeks first are given their appointments before those who hit 12 weeks later

avocadoincident · 03/09/2019 12:16

I wish new commenters would read the thread!

OP has said she's overreacted and is now calming down. Back off people and give a new mum a break. Thanks

Mumski45 · 03/09/2019 12:28

You do realise that there are many people who work in the NHS who also have foreign sounding names don't you. How could you possibly put this down to someone deliberatley putting you at the bottom of the list because of your name and not to the the much more likely scenario of an under resourced and over worked department I'll never know.

BogglesGoggles · 03/09/2019 12:31

This has been my experience of the NHS every other time I cone into contact with them. I am white and most people assume I British. I highly doubt it’s discrimibation, the NHS is just shit.