to be flummoxed

[WinkyWinkola]

by my good friend who claims just 'manage' despite earning £160k p.a.. I am staggered.

I feel sorry for her - yes. I feel sorry that she would come on here and see everyone being nasty because she earns more than most and is no allowed to have a little moan.

As I said she may be a little insensitive but blimey, can't a girl have a moan occasionlly

the reason I feel sorry for her is becasue of what people are saying here.

(btw EDAM - what sun!)

How do you know what she earns?

Sound like she cant manage her finances properly. Probobaly has loads of debts, credit card and loan bills to cover each month, leaving her with very little after covering all the outgoings.

If you earn 160k it is rather insensitive to moan to anyone except those in a similarly-fortunate position.

I didn't think anyone was being nasty.

Anyway, she's a lovely woman and very clever and successful. So it's great that she's doing so well.

She also has to work weekends sometimes so I guess she earns her £160k. Wish I could earn that but I wouldn't work weekends, mind!

DH's friend's wife works in the city (as a low grade office worker) and some of the senior guys there earn around £6m a year before bonuses. She says they never stop moaning about never having enough money!. They have to pay for high maintenance wives,nannies, school fees, gardeners, housekeepers, holidays etc. Suffice to say, she does not pity them, especially when compared to what she earns.

I find it crass tbh so YANBU.

There's a bit of Rosie Millard Syndrome here, I think... People who complain they haven't got enough money when they have more than one house/ pay private school fees/ take more than one holiday a year.... aaaaghh!!!

"I feel sorry for her that you judge her."

My arse in parsely! Private education is a choice open to the privilged few, and I'm guessing no one forced her to have four children.

Crass is about right.

I havnt had a holiday for 5years! Just cant afford it either the time off or the holiday cost itself. Cost of living these days is extortionate!

I know people like this. Yes, we all live to (or just beyond) our means, but people who complain in this situation have lost all concept of reality.

Am with sweety on this one. Why people discuss salaries is beyone me. The only two people (aside from my boss) who know what i earn is DH and my mum. It is no ones business.
And I can believe that with 4 kids in private education, living in London - she probably is worrying about her financial committments? why that should flummox you - I don't really understand. She obviously has outgoings that match what she earns. What is wrong with that?

It's loads of money. Even with four kids in private school.

And lots of people discuss salaries. It's up to the individual to disclose their personal information if they want to.. .. .. .. ..

Some people will know exactly what salary someone is on if they are in a comparable industry and know their grade. Teachers, for instance, can work it out pretty easily - they know the system of scales and extra points.

I think it is all relative. She probably looks at senior partners who take home 1/2 a million pa in her company (think someone said she was a lawyer) and thinks how much she earns (whilst not a small amount by any means) is not enough.
I am not disagreeing that it is a phenomenal amount to earn - but equally dont see why anyone should be surprised that her financial committments are substantial and making her say she 'manages'

Why does anyone think she wants anybody to feel sorry for her? According to the OP, she simply states that she just manages financially on £160k. With an after tax income, of say £110K, school fees of around £50k, mortgage of say £30k and possibly childcare as well, it's just a mathematical reality.

But I can see how it would be irritating if you are managing on £16K. Or even the national average wage, which is, what, about £26K?...

Agreed, but then again if you earn say £10k, it must be irritating to hear someone saying that they struggle to manage on £16K.

I think what we need is a proper definition of "struggle to manage", though. Once you are not in serious danger of not being able to afford food and rent/mortgage, you're out of that zone. And by that I mean in real danger of that, not the Rosie Millard variety where you don't seem to be aware that you have substantial capital tied up in property and investments.

I agree with you completely in that sense - it is always annoying to hear people complain about money when they have made personal lifestle choices which are expensive.

I know a couple who are approaching bankruptcy and yet have touched all their friends for loans of around £10k each. Their 2 kids are still at private school which I find extraordinary. Some people have no concept of how the vast majority of people live and the sacrifices they make.

Still, we don't know that the op's friend was complaining or just stating a fact.

No, she wasn't complaining. We were just discussing moving out of London and comparing the cost of living in and out of the capital. That's how it all came up. She's not a moaner. She's a real doer! I expect that's how she got so far. But I'm still amazed. That's London for you though.